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I replied with a simple "Oh really?"; pretty mid-ground comment if you ask me :) And she is a woman. In the office right now and she just smiled at me.

By mandy_2480 - 19/02/2012 02:08 - China

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 246

You deserved it 4 945

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 246

You deserved it 2 251

By Tyler - 03/09/2012 09:37 - Australia - Killara

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 245

You deserved it 1 985

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 244

You deserved it 5 865

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 03:04 - United States

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 244

You deserved it 246 238

Never engage with crazy

By fxck - 20/07/2012 22:45 - South Africa - Durban

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 243

You deserved it 4 972

By Spinster - 30/09/2015 05:26 - United States - Brush

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 243

You deserved it 2 454

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 18:50 - United States - Humble

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 242

You deserved it 11 106

By Byebye - 24/05/2012 19:30 - Netherlands - Sappemeer

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 242

You deserved it 1 836

By lilykat84 - 29/07/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, I have a huge scab on my thigh. What from? My thighs rubbing together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 240

You deserved it 33 158

lilykat84 tells us more.

lilykat84 4

Tuesday 18 September 2012 7:37

This is my FML.. that I wrote a while back ago! Just now commenting on it, ha. Anyways, yeah my thighs do rub together at times.. >.> It bites but sometimes powder helps a little. I learned the hard way that rubbing lotion (it was bath and body works lotion) on freshly chaffed thighs burns like hell. Truthfully I'm not THAT over weight. I would like to lose about 30 pounds though, but that'll have to wait until after February. Thanks for the comments though, some were pretty funny! ^.^