By 900104878 - 17/10/2015 03:48 - Canada
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Hey OP here. I guess I should clarify some things. Birth control was used, as like every other time. It happened to fail. We were together a few months and a few more after we found out. I don't believe in staying with someone solely because of a child. It's not healthy for anyone. We get along fine and he's excited to be a dad. Absolutely not great timing of course. But I do not believe in abortion. I didn't post this because I'm worried about money. I have a good full time job that I will return to after my mat leave. My heart hurts for him, not me. I've got my family here, I'll be ok. Thank you for the support!!
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I like how you instantly jumped to op wants money.. It couldn't be that she wants her child to be able to see their father easily? And even if she can't support support the child, it's ridiculous to expect people not to have sex until they can care for a child.
I'm not saying you can't have sex, but if you do you have to be able to accept the responsibility of pregnancy happens. And your case isn't any more probable than mine given the little information we know. In any case, if it was only so the child can see the dad, like others have said he can just apply for a visa again and come back.
Lol. Plan to have a child with somebody who has an unstable job and will have to leave the country if he loses it? Even in that case it's still a YDI. Do you even know how to think on your own? OP wouldn't even call the person their boyfriend/SO. Just "the father." Who's plans to bear a child with somebody who they won't even call their SO? It's like some people on here will defend the OP no matter how many assertions they have to make just to be the "good person." But hey, at least you can throw insults at me too. That really strengthens your argument!
Well you did come out with "Don't have sex" as your first statement, which was a pretty silly thing to say. Safe sex that doesn't result in pregnancy isn't difficult to achieve consistently. So either OP had really bad luck or they aren't too bright. Unless you know more you can't just judge immediately
45- I then corrected myself in saying you should be able to accept the responsibility if it does occur. When bring up something I already corrected? Even with protection a 99.99 percent reduction chance may seem great but it is still significant on a population level. Also, I know I can't judge for sure. There's too little information. However, nothing says I can't come up with what I think and give reasons to why I think I'm not wrong. It's different than saying I am correct.
26, Two people had sex. Two people should be expected to contribute equally to up-bringing and well being of that child, given that they have decide to proceed with the pregnancy. Why, in your mind, is it okay for the man to bare no responsibility but the woman is automatically a gold-digging slut?
Who did i say I thought that was ok? When did I call her a gold digging slut? When did I mention she wanted money at all? Hyperbole much? Or did you not read the rest of my comments? If you have sex with somebody who may have to leave the country and end up not being able to contribute after that, you have to deal with the the consequences. Planned or not.
Why are all of you assuming this has anything to do with money? Like 34 said, OP most likely wants her child to have a relationship with his/her father. That's kind of hard to do when the father lives in another country! OP never said this had anything to do with money, only about him being in the country. Stop jumping to conclusions and assuming that OP needs his paycheck.
If the father of OP's child couldn't guarantee that he could potentially support it, he shouldn't have had sex. Especially not with somebody from another country and especially not with somebody he wasn't in a relationship with. As we all know, children are a punishment sent to curse the wicked, since only bad and stupid people have sex or get pregnant, so he should have to live with the consequences. OP will just have to air mail the baby to him after it's born so he can begin his suffering in a timely fashion. I understand flat-rate shipping is very reasonable.
It isn't exactly that cut and dry when dealing with work visas. When my father (an American citizen) applied to jobs in Canada they had to make sure than no Canadian citizens wanted the job before they could offer it to him legally. A lot of businesses also don't want to go through the hassle of dealing with visas when they could hire a citizen faster with less paperwork.
I'm so sorry this is happening when it's supposed to be such a happy time. Hopefully he can work something out at the embassy to give him a temporary visa? Or maybe he can find a new job?