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Hey OP here. I guess I should clarify some things. Birth control was used, as like every other time. It happened to fail. We were together a few months and a few more after we found out. I don't believe in staying with someone solely because of a child. It's not healthy for anyone. We get along fine and he's excited to be a dad. Absolutely not great timing of course. But I do not believe in abortion. I didn't post this because I'm worried about money. I have a good full time job that I will return to after my mat leave. My heart hurts for him, not me. I've got my family here, I'll be ok. Thank you for the support!!

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Marry him? Is that not an option?

I'm so sorry this is happening when it's supposed to be such a happy time. Hopefully he can work something out at the embassy to give him a temporary visa? Or maybe he can find a new job?

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Marry him? Is that not an option?

ThatOneChick856 36

Considering that she says "father of my child" rather than "my boyfriend", I don't think she wishes to be in a relationship with him.

That's what I was thinking, otherwise it would be "our unborn child"

Yeah #8 that is possible but if she doesn't want a relationship why does it matter that he be here?

it matters that hes here to see and support his child

He can just apply for another work visa whilst in the country.

if OP can't support a child, she should not have had sex. Especially with somebody from another country and especially with somebody she doesn't want a relationship with. OP deserves it. Too bad for the kid though.

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I'm not saying you can't have sex, but if you do you have to be able to accept the responsibility of pregnancy happens. And your case isn't any more probable than mine given the little information we know. In any case, if it was only so the child can see the dad, like others have said he can just apply for a visa again and come back.

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Lol. Plan to have a child with somebody who has an unstable job and will have to leave the country if he loses it? Even in that case it's still a YDI. Do you even know how to think on your own? OP wouldn't even call the person their boyfriend/SO. Just "the father." Who's plans to bear a child with somebody who they won't even call their SO? It's like some people on here will defend the OP no matter how many assertions they have to make just to be the "good person." But hey, at least you can throw insults at me too. That really strengthens your argument!

Well you did come out with "Don't have sex" as your first statement, which was a pretty silly thing to say. Safe sex that doesn't result in pregnancy isn't difficult to achieve consistently. So either OP had really bad luck or they aren't too bright. Unless you know more you can't just judge immediately

I think her original intent was for him to to see the child and then GTFO?

45- I then corrected myself in saying you should be able to accept the responsibility if it does occur. When bring up something I already corrected? Even with protection a 99.99 percent reduction chance may seem great but it is still significant on a population level. Also, I know I can't judge for sure. There's too little information. However, nothing says I can't come up with what I think and give reasons to why I think I'm not wrong. It's different than saying I am correct.

26, Two people had sex. Two people should be expected to contribute equally to up-bringing and well being of that child, given that they have decide to proceed with the pregnancy. Why, in your mind, is it okay for the man to bare no responsibility but the woman is automatically a gold-digging slut?

Who did i say I thought that was ok? When did I call her a gold digging slut? When did I mention she wanted money at all? Hyperbole much? Or did you not read the rest of my comments? If you have sex with somebody who may have to leave the country and end up not being able to contribute after that, you have to deal with the the consequences. Planned or not.

#44 Where in the fml does it say she planned to have the kid?

Why are all of you assuming this has anything to do with money? Like 34 said, OP most likely wants her child to have a relationship with his/her father. That's kind of hard to do when the father lives in another country! OP never said this had anything to do with money, only about him being in the country. Stop jumping to conclusions and assuming that OP needs his paycheck.

What are these references you're hiding from everyone that tell you Sir Baby Daddy had an unstable job? Do you mean a job in which he might potentially be fired or laid off? Because that is almost literally every job.

If the father of OP's child couldn't guarantee that he could potentially support it, he shouldn't have had sex. Especially not with somebody from another country and especially not with somebody he wasn't in a relationship with. As we all know, children are a punishment sent to curse the wicked, since only bad and stupid people have sex or get pregnant, so he should have to live with the consequences. OP will just have to air mail the baby to him after it's born so he can begin his suffering in a timely fashion. I understand flat-rate shipping is very reasonable.

Isn't marriage an option? If not then at least keep them in contact with Skype and other things

I've no idea why people are downvoting you; that's what life today is like. It's not that bad...

Is that the only job that has employees? How about find another job...

It isn't exactly that cut and dry when dealing with work visas. When my father (an American citizen) applied to jobs in Canada they had to make sure than no Canadian citizens wanted the job before they could offer it to him legally. A lot of businesses also don't want to go through the hassle of dealing with visas when they could hire a citizen faster with less paperwork.

for an H1B work visa, he can only apply in April 2016, hope to get it through lottery, and would eventually get in not before October 2016.

I'm pretty sure if your marry him he can stay

Marrying him seems like your best option.

I'm so sorry this is happening when it's supposed to be such a happy time. Hopefully he can work something out at the embassy to give him a temporary visa? Or maybe he can find a new job?

finally a positive non condescending judgemental comment

While this statement sounds comforting. The immigration laws are not as comforting as it says.

Yea but maybe if they stay positive they can find someone like an immigration lawyer that can help them... I wish them the best

Stay strong OP and consider all the options before panicking

Congratulations, hope all turns out for the better.

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I don't think they had planned on him getting laid off when the test came back positive

go move away with him.