By JurassicHole - 22/04/2012 03:27 - United States

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 200
You deserved it 4 467

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P


The ground is fertile enough to grow weeds. It's practically mocking him!

Looks like we're going to have to wait and watch…

Marcella1016 31

Did you also soil your pants?

alwaysrunnin 3

I feel bad for the poor guy. Yet the FML is funny, especially with 'future children already filing for abuse' and yet ironic cos fertile garden

Thank you for that literary analysis 41. Really talked about stuff under the surface there. B+

And let's hope you're not. You probably should not reproduce if you posted a time you punched yourself in the nuts on FML.

I'm thinking around C- not a B+

Don't worry, just Mother Nature screwing with us again.

OP it's more like, you just punched your future children goodbye.

Haha-- No. Think up a better joke next time. Douche.

lifesabitch77 0

Don't be a bitch-_- #75 do you know what a douche is? But in this case it applies...

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P

yoursucklives 36

But I think it's very hard to punch a woman in the ovaries!

MissHayleyJames 7

Not really. It's actually quite easy but doesn't have the same impact that it does on testicles.

yoursucklives 36

What I meant to say with that comment, was, that testicals are more "visible" than ovaries.

God bless you. Women are born with a finite number of eggs;men have countless & unlimited sperm.

HoboSmeller 6

@49- which **** has taught us usually ends up on girls faces and lower back.

Well i thought that if the fabric gets damaged it won't produce more products? Must be a harder force I guess

are you dumb? what do you think a period is lol.

OP was not worried about sperm count. He was worried about fertility. Wait. Im out of character. Y U no study biology?!

MissHayleyJames 7

Have you women never had a gyno exam before? It's really easy to reach your ovaries through your skin.

haycassidy 7

Oh 81, I really hope you're joking.

MrBrightside21 20

I heard that man has a limited amount of sperm, and can only have sex with about every woman in Europe, twice. Challenge accepted. ...Just kidding. That shit would hurt.

81, your period discards an unfertilised egg, in fact women only have 400-500 eggs in their ovaries. I'm a guy and I know this...

His sperm…? Sorry, I can't tell if you're serious or just using dumb sarcasm.


Oh another duck face.... *loads shotgun*

Wait SkoomaKi! You'll need something bigger: *Hands minigun* Now go! Before she flies away!

dont worry your future kids will only be slightly messed up

sillycart 9

That's prob as bad as pulling on something while another person is pulling the other end and they let go.

that's exactly what it is except here the other side isn't a person so it minimizes the hard feelings factor

thenewlautner 4

I had a friend who did that with a big military-sized tire iron

tire irons are bigger in the military?

CockAsian 14

EVERYTHING is bigger in the military. ;D

What about a military base in Texas?