Hi, OP here. Someone called and went like "Can I talk to Mr. N****, please?". At first I thought he meant my husband, but it turned out to be my son. I said "Well, I don't think you can talk to him, he is just six weeks old. So you might want to talk to me instead". Turns out he was the assistant of the specialist I had made an appointment with because of an issue with my son's spine (something went wrong during the delivery). He was cancelling/rescheduling appointments, because his boss was sick, and hadn't checked the patient's birth date before calling (they treat both kids and adults). He was very embarrassed, but I just thought it was hilarious.

hey, op here, he already agreed to pay for the yard to be fixed, and im not gonna destroy his car, hes a good guy, known him since i moved in(years) but he does stupid stuff at times.

Ok, followup: cat is fine. She had to stay at the hospital overnight with IV fluids to flush out her system. Also, anyone who understands how picky cats are about what they eat would be surprised that a cat would even consider chocolate food... including the emergency vet, who had never seen a case of a cat eating chocolate in her entire 15 years, simply because cats are not supposed to be dumb enough to try eating it. She had also left said bowl of chocolates (which was up on a high shelf) alone for about three months already, so I had no reason to think she would go after it. Needless to say, I now keep all food items out of reach and sight, regardless of what they are. Since the incident, some of her favorite foods I have discovered (that I mostly try desperately to keep her from eating): tomatoes, peanuts, ice cream, raw sugar snap peas (and other veggies), hair, cardboard, string, rubber bands, and cat litter. The best part? After all that, she doesn't believe that kitty treat tuna flakes are food. Too much like paper...?

For everyone wondering, I work in a tiny ass town in France where we don't have much delivery to make compare to others and I had the smallest car of the fleet that day I had 3 rounds of 25-30 medium packages to deliver all of them with a mandatory signature. Nobody was home even though I was in time for each and everyone of them. Only this first round was Horrible the rest of the day (and the week) went more smoothly