Wooooooooow

Very true, behavior like this isn't a sign of anything healthy and usually gets worse. I'd definately conisder divorce sooner rather than later before it worse. A guy this manipulative isn't going to get better. If he does it will be be a long time before he does and if he does this sort of behavior is going to be his default reaction.

No wedding vows includes being obligated to service someone sexually in a shitter, within hearing distance of family members. If he needs relief that badly he can jerk himself off.

Your sarcasm-ometer needs to be recalibrated.

Sarcasm doesn't usually read well in written word unless it made clear it's a joke. It's also more difficult considering there are people that actually do think that way. Also, it has to be funny just spouting stuff you'd expect to hear from family of 4chan doesn't make you hillarious.

This is Richard Pencil you're talking about, literally everything he says is a joke. You must be new here.

Not new but I'm aware jokes have to be funny. Peter Griffin the online shock jock is pretty lame

It is when it takes places in a church during a funeral.

Asshole

You weren't there to witness the way OP's husband asked for the *******. You have no idea how entitled or passive aggressive he may have come across, and yet you immediately assume it has to be OP who's in the wrong. You might wanna look inward before you accuse others of being "judgy judgy", miss judgy judgy.

I hear what you're saying and would have upvoted you if it was written in a less judgemental way of OP. OP may well be very supportive but not understand how a blownjob would help. OP's reaction is very understandable. You make good points in that it could truly be a reaction to the grief annd death in the husband's part.