Animals, Health and Cats: Stuck in the middle - FML

Stuck in the middle

By Mark - 20/03/2017 08:00 - United States - Sparks

Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 691

You deserved it 566

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By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 202

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 5 831

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 05:17 - United States - Norristown

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 101

You deserved it 1 786

Wake up Boo

By Megan Snair - 01/09/2019 04:01

Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 540

You deserved it 27 312

Book it!

By Kiera Ayala - 08/06/2019 12:00

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 316

You were framed

By Slippery! - 01/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 158

Thanks little buddy

By crushed - 10/03/2021 14:00

Today, I was in the middle of my workout when my cat meowed so loudly, it startled me into dropping a 50-pound weight onto my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 270

By catattack78 - 21/10/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 295

You deserved it 4 007

Revenge will be sweet

By Kitty at my foot - 20/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 404

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Top comments

MarkToast 19

Monday 20 March 2017 23:29

the "I agree, your life sucks" button is just a cruel pun on this one

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 March 2017 17:39

Vacuum cleaners suck!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 March 2017 17:39

Vacuum cleaners suck!

MarkToast 19

Monday 20 March 2017 23:29

the "I agree, your life sucks" button is just a cruel pun on this one

Starlight1029 18

Monday 20 March 2017 23:46

Ohhhh no. I did a full body cringe and closed my legs as tight as I could at the thought of that. And I'm a girl X_x

tibtak 20

Tuesday 21 March 2017 3:37

Looks like the beginning of a bad porno

WardenWolf 26

Wednesday 22 March 2017 2:11

That sucks, OP. Oh well, just suck it up and move on. ;-)

dramaelf 37

Wednesday 22 March 2017 6:06

Kinky.

trucker2 33

Wednesday 22 March 2017 21:21

Well I'm sure you signed a kinky replacement plan on this one-it has lovely features- 1. Every tractable cord for restraints /bondage. 2. A stay hard handle that vibrates. 3. Awesome suction power. 4. Stores quietly in the corner until it's ready to be used. All this for one easy payment of $199.99, not responsible for any damage while it's in use.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my fiancée's ex sent me screenshots of their conversation. In it, he told her how badly he’d wanted to marry her, what a great life he'd have given her, and what a huge mistake she'd made by letting him get away. My ring, our house even our pets should’ve been hers. Gee, thanks for settling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 133

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I filled a bag full of Beer Cheese soup. Set it on the passenger seat to take home. Got home to realize the bag was leaking. The passenger seat and floor are covered in soup. My car is new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 1 211

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 705

You deserved it 6 537

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 629

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 061

You deserved it 9 518

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 269

You deserved it 4 119

Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that I deserved to be punished. He didn’t fine me, instead he sent me to the naughty step for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 185