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By mbbcjuliet - 17/07/2016 03:13

Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 025

You deserved it 895

mbbcjuliet tells us more.

mbbcjuliet 4

Monday 18 July 2016 0:29

This is my post. I didn't have enough characters to fully explain. My sister is married to a verbally abusive guy who she has been trying to leave for a while but hasn't had the courage. They have 3 kids together. She met this guy on line and started talking to him as friends which developed into more. I don't agree with her cheating but that is a lesser point for me. I've tried to do some research on this guy and keep finding lies in what he is telling my sister. That is why I think he is catfishing her, not because of the picture. I have his number because she asked me to text him to say her phone had broken and she was getting a new one. He started flirting with me almost immediately, which is how I "accidentally" got a picture of him just out off the shower. I'm trying to help her move out on her own but I don't like her thinking this is a good guy. Thus my dilema.

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 025

You deserved it 97 648

By Lizzy - 11/11/2016 03:01

Today, I tried to make things less awkward by complimenting my Tai Chi partner's ring and he says, "Thanks, it's a purity ring!" I said, "I used to have one of those. Would you believe me if I said I lost it in a river?" Now my entire Tai Chi class thinks I lost my virginity in a river. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 024

You deserved it 2 734

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 023

You deserved it 24 821

By Anonymous - 22/08/2009 19:39 - Canada

Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the Oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 46 213

Good friends

By cavallo31 - 28/06/2016 00:47 - United States

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 019

You deserved it 901

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 00:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 017

You deserved it 3 657

Trance

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to pour myself a cup of coffee and noticed our kittens were playing in the living room. Transfixed by the cuteness, I didn't notice I started pouring hot coffee on my hand and foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 015

You deserved it 31 685

Six weeks for nowt

By Dezzmond68 - 15/09/2016 20:26 - Canada - Aylmer

Today, I got in trouble at work because the person whom I trained, and had done everything correctly with no mistakes, and said he was comfortable being on his own when I asked, was screwing it all up over the course of 6 weeks. When I asked him, he said, "I think my way is better than yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 013

You deserved it 897

By ohshootgirl - 04/10/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, "Oh shoot girl!" and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 012

You deserved it 28 146

By mkonda - 10/09/2016 17:11 - India

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me via a Whatsapp group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 012

You deserved it 834

By Anonymous - 25/12/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 012

You deserved it 52 280

By Oops - 13/09/2016 18:28 - United States - Portland

Today, I managed to stop my supervisor from falling into a trench, only for the ground to give way and for me to fall in instead. My supervisor didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 011

You deserved it 861

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 011

You deserved it 1 174

By Pickle - 06/07/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, I finally got around to doing laundry. The washing machines in my condominium building take about an hour to do a load. When I returned to throw my clothes in a dryer, I realized they were never washed in the first place. I used my card and detergent to pay for another person's laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 011

You deserved it 32 134

By creepyeyes - 21/06/2009 18:37 - Canada

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 010

You deserved it 68 608

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 02:49 - United States

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 010

You deserved it 28 677

That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 008

You deserved it 1 560

By Anonymous - 13/05/2016 03:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 008

You deserved it 3 802

Cats > Humans

By LittleRed79 - 03/11/2016 04:49 - Canada

Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 007

You deserved it 1 062

By Booooolette - 22/06/2016 04:27 - France - Beauvais

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 006

You deserved it 1 285

By happiestturtle - 08/06/2016 15:21 - United States - Chicago

Today, my mom thought the best way to stop me from taking people to my room was by changing my wallpaper into a nursery-themed one. Now I get to see bunnies, letter blocks and teddy bears all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 004

You deserved it 1 668

By jeffcarp - 03/06/2016 16:13 - Italy - Bologna

Today, I went to a professional development meeting with my boss to discuss how I'm doing and what we want from each other next year. I left without a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 003

You deserved it 933

jeffcarp tells us more.

jeffcarp 9

Saturday 4 June 2016 17:08

Hi OP here! Thanks for the funnies, laugh in the face of adversity I believe! Just to elaborate some more- I'd asked for the meeting, had been asking for a few weeks. I thought something wasn't right as they never responded, but when a time and place was confirmed I thought 'at last!' This sort of thing happens a lot in my job, so I was still none the wiser. I was basically told that there were too many others in the company with the same job title as me, and one has to go and they chose me. I stated that that was quite the opposite of what I thought we would be talking about and that was that. I have a notice period to work and want to check my rights and entitlements in the meantime- I'm hoping there's some sort of payoff! It's not all bad news though, I have another job lined up for me if I want it so I won't be out of pocket. It's strange how life can suddenly change!