Work: Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - Nampa

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11927

You deserved it

3737

Tweet

Share

Messed up

Good friends

And probably giggling

By jonnah - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32586

You deserved it

5252

Tweet

Share

By prostitutes boyfriend - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56183

You deserved it

4365

Tweet

Share

By mortifiedgrandchild - United States

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29141

You deserved it

4339

Tweet

Share

By Omega

Today, I was sitting outside while my dad was mowing the lawn. He ran over a hornet's nest with several now-angry hornets. He escaped unscathed. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13718

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1464

Tweet

Share

By ahhh - United States - Northbrook

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38739

You deserved it

7308

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12976

You deserved it

22807

Tweet

Share

By DestinyJoy

Today, at Starbucks, I complimented the awkward nerdy barista's name tag because of the funny Sonic decorations on it. The dude took it as me flirting and gave me my drink with Sonic drawn on it. I had applied to work there and now I can't go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5279

You deserved it

1859

Tweet

Share

By hcditfi5foygy

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4380

You deserved it

255

Tweet

Share

By TiredMum - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52028

You deserved it

7081

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34614

You deserved it

4415

Tweet

Share

By SF49 - United States

Dingdong

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44775

You deserved it

3737

Tweet

Share

By betchyo - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29661

You deserved it

5467

Tweet

Share

By nyatzz - United States

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33163

You deserved it

2913

Tweet

Share

By frustrated! - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53771

You deserved it

6088

Tweet

Share

By crinitis - Canada - Ancaster

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22978

You deserved it

1380

Tweet

Share

By crazyvulva9216 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8810

You deserved it

68781

Tweet

Share

By charlieg9 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44193

You deserved it

15809

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my date kissed me after our second date. The way he leaned towards my mouth was very romantic. He's pretty tall, so I stretched myself as high as possible to make the kiss as passionate as possible. That's how I ended up belching into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35807

You deserved it

10095

Tweet

Share

By somebody - United States

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29106

You deserved it

2234

Tweet

Share

By Aly - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47991

You deserved it

5798

Tweet

Share

By Hospoh8r - 24/3/2021 18:01 - New Zealand

Slot machine addicts

Today, I'm working in hospitality. I was serving a customer when another customer came up to cash in from the pokies. I told them I'd be there in a minute, and they said OK. By the time I got to them, they were complaining to my boss. Guess whose side was taken? FML

I agree, your life sucks

729

You deserved it

49

Tweet

Share

By PerturbedStudent - United States - Keller

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22545

You deserved it

1635

Tweet

Share

By cat

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1456

You deserved it

109

Tweet

Share

By cmerr - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

I agree, your life sucks

153532

You deserved it

9742

Tweet

Share

By ShaunBomb - United States

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34637

You deserved it

3116

Tweet

Share

By Buzz - France

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22278

You deserved it

8309

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33717

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By Liz - United States - Torrance

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24191

You deserved it

3570

Tweet

Share

By Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27515

You deserved it

4919

Tweet

Share

By CapeRanger - South Africa

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54793

You deserved it

4754

Tweet

Share

By ANON - United States - Sacramento

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53914

You deserved it

19093

Tweet

Share

By gleefan116 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33444

You deserved it

9002

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Corona

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51902

You deserved it

4660

Tweet

Share

By thatonekid - United States

It's better than nothing, I suppose

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69934

You deserved it

5161

Tweet

Share

By YOUNG1441 - United Kingdom - Cramlington

Today, after finishing a two-day course for work, I was informed that the days used will either be unpaid or used up as holidays, as it was for improvement of myself and not the company. They put me on the course without my knowledge until the weekend before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11104

You deserved it

776

Tweet

Share

By Ceej - United States - Grand Haven

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33765

You deserved it

7006

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Hackensack

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks

52133

You deserved it

18908

Tweet

Share

By Ima_Moronski - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39333

You deserved it

7085

Tweet

Share

By 205 - United States

Today, after getting my car completely fixed after it being damaged for a year, I was driving and the entire side panel on the car fell off. The repair man forgot to put the screws back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33655

You deserved it

2140

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/3/2021 22:01 - United States - Boise

What? How? Why?

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

633

You deserved it

265

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By xFiiRe | 19

#6604778 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:45

Prepare yourself for another short roadtrip...

By Solano2580 | 24

#6604767 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:25

Always make a digital copy and physical copy of everything for your finals.

COMMENTS

By Solano2580 | 24

#6604767 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:25

Always make a digital copy and physical copy of everything for your finals.

Reply

CourtneyPaigee16 | 13

#6604908 - Friday 13 May 2016 15:48

I'm not sure many people actually do that

Reply

okaydisarray | 17

#6605331 - Saturday 14 May 2016 5:04

OR you could just leave your schoolwork at home when going on a short road trip and use the time as a break.

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6604769 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:30

Hope everything goes well with you OP..

By xFiiRe | 19

#6604778 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:45

Prepare yourself for another short roadtrip...

Reply

kfchicken_fml | 31

#6604925 - Friday 13 May 2016 16:10

ya "short". how is a four hour round trip short?

Reply

Wutdafuqq | 24

#6604932 - Friday 13 May 2016 16:27

12 That went right over your head.

By ssnow_fml | 20

#6604785 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:04

Time for the trek back

By TheNewGuy03 | 28

#6604822 - Friday 13 May 2016 13:02

1) Check to make sure you just didn't just put it in a different location you don't remember.
2) Double-check.
3) Road Trip #2 is a go!

By paris_ava | 24

#6604848 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:03

Could you maybe ask a class mate to send you a photo of some of their notes?

By Steve97 | 32

#6604856 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:30

If that binder and those notes were so important you should have packed them and put them in the car the night before.

By confused_wandere | 26

#6604858 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:34

Two hours is a short trip?

Reply

paris_ava | 24

#6604861 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:41

I think that was meant to be sarcastic

Reply

crystalhale | 15

#6604894 - Friday 13 May 2016 15:25

not sure where op is from, but I'm from Texas and we consider 2 hours a short trip haha

Reply

Tommy1340 | 18

#6605315 - Saturday 14 May 2016 4:46

In the Western US yeah two hours is a short road trip

Reply

confused_wandere | 26

#6605621 - Saturday 14 May 2016 17:46

Ok, the people thumbing me down have to realise that I'm from the UK. To Brits, two hours is a long journey and I can't wrap my head around anyone thinking it's a short journey. Don't blame me, blame my country for being much smaller than the US.

By shady914 | 14

#6604969 - Friday 13 May 2016 17:39

At least you had a nice drive for a while :) sometimes it's good to just drive away to relax, even though it wasn't exactly according to your plan.

By H4H | 15

#6605054 - Friday 13 May 2016 19:44

Call the hotel and ask if they picked it up while cleaning the room and ask them to hold it for you. Then prepare for another two hour road trip

Reply

wow2mylife | 25

#6605058 - Friday 13 May 2016 19:47

they might even mail it for you