Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/5/2016 03:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

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Instadrama

Tidy your room

Mind your own beeswax

By Sarah1330 - 25/2/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

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By lily - 30/8/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

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By SHAME! - 20/5/2019 16:02

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

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By goodsister - 14/10/2009 08:09 - Canada

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month and is happening this weekend. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/7/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

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By I'm an adult! - 2/7/2015 19:16 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

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By Anon - 18/9/2013 17:48 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

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By Maddi - 4/5/2016 02:55 - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/8/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

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By batgirl - 20/11/2008 12:55 - France

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

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By pea - 12/9/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

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By poor man - 26/11/2014 14:13 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

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By anon - 16/1/2016 23:15 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/7/2014 16:54 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

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By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 06:50 - United States

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

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By failure - 29/7/2011 06:19 - United States

Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML

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By samantha - 23/6/2020 02:02

Humblebrag in disguise

Today, while buying drinks, the cashier immediately refused me and said, “Don’t even bother showing me your ID, you’re obviously 12." I’m 31. FML

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By wetandhungry - 6/10/2016 13:11 - United States - Houston

Today, I came home to find water dripping from the ceiling in my apartment laundry room/pantry. All of my groceries were ruined. Maintenance's suggestion? "Put a bucket under it." FML

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By Anonymous - 20/6/2019 16:30

Today, I got on a crowded bus and was forced to stand. The bus made a sharp turn, so I reached for a pole to hold onto. Without looking, I grabbed the pole. It was wet and moist, but I nonetheless held on until the turn was done. I turned to see I had also grabbed a large man's nose and had squeezed it. FML

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By RedheadA - 16/6/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was just wearing socks. FML

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By SleepObsessed - 5/8/2018 19:00

Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML

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By sendhelp - 3/8/2015 05:31 - United States - Provo

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

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By anon - 24/3/2012 03:51 - United States - Addison

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

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By WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality - 26/6/2014 11:35 - Australia - Belconnen

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

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By JustplainSad - 15/8/2020 23:01

People are strange

Today, I found out my friend of 15 years, who cut off our weekly gaming group during Covid after a fight, is speaking to everyone but me. I wasn't even in the fight, I just checked in to see if he was OK after. FML

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By shouldveknown - 27/1/2011 20:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

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By baconlady - 31/8/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

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By jm_track - 26/2/2011 22:59 - United States

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/4/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

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By not paid enough - 1/6/2014 21:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

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By nichaneely - 10/2/2010 03:32 - United States

Today, I was working when an older lady came up to buy a coffee. Her son cried for a cup of whipped cream to snack on. She shook her head, silently telling me to say no. I said we were out. The mother took her drink and said, "I'm sorry honey, but the mean man said you couldn't have any." FML

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By DocKreso - 28/6/2013 21:59 - Croatia - Split

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

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By fireman - 6/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

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By Juliet - 12/4/2013 00:40 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2020 14:00

Yappy neighborhood

Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML

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By gagus123 - 12/11/2019 14:00

Karma sucks

Today, I pretended to be sick at the office and went home early because I wanted to attend a party. On the way to the said party, my car caught fire on the highway. FML

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By sadcat - 6/2/2010 15:19 - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/4/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

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By weirded out - 11/8/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

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Top comments

By xFiiRe | 19

#6604778 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:45

Prepare yourself for another short roadtrip...

By Solano2580 | 24

#6604767 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:25

Always make a digital copy and physical copy of everything for your finals.

COMMENTS

By Solano2580 | 24

#6604767 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:25

Always make a digital copy and physical copy of everything for your finals.

Reply

CourtneyPaigee16 | 13

#6604908 - Friday 13 May 2016 15:48

I'm not sure many people actually do that

Reply

okaydisarray | 17

#6605331 - Saturday 14 May 2016 5:04

OR you could just leave your schoolwork at home when going on a short road trip and use the time as a break.

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6604769 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:30

Hope everything goes well with you OP..

By xFiiRe | 19

#6604778 - Friday 13 May 2016 11:45

Prepare yourself for another short roadtrip...

Reply

kfchicken_fml | 26

#6604925 - Friday 13 May 2016 16:10

ya "short". how is a four hour round trip short?

Reply

Wutdafuqq | 24

#6604932 - Friday 13 May 2016 16:27

12 That went right over your head.

By ssnow_fml | 20

#6604785 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:04

Time for the trek back

By TheNewGuy03 | 28

#6604822 - Friday 13 May 2016 13:02

1) Check to make sure you just didn't just put it in a different location you don't remember.
2) Double-check.
3) Road Trip #2 is a go!

By paris_ava | 24

#6604848 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:03

Could you maybe ask a class mate to send you a photo of some of their notes?

By Steve97 | 32

#6604856 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:30

If that binder and those notes were so important you should have packed them and put them in the car the night before.

By confused_wandere | 26

#6604858 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:34

Two hours is a short trip?

Reply

paris_ava | 24

#6604861 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:41

I think that was meant to be sarcastic

Reply

crystalhale | 15

#6604894 - Friday 13 May 2016 15:25

not sure where op is from, but I'm from Texas and we consider 2 hours a short trip haha

Reply

Tommy1340 | 18

#6605315 - Saturday 14 May 2016 4:46

In the Western US yeah two hours is a short road trip

Reply

confused_wandere | 26

#6605621 - Saturday 14 May 2016 17:46

Ok, the people thumbing me down have to realise that I'm from the UK. To Brits, two hours is a long journey and I can't wrap my head around anyone thinking it's a short journey. Don't blame me, blame my country for being much smaller than the US.

By shady914 | 14

#6604969 - Friday 13 May 2016 17:39

At least you had a nice drive for a while :) sometimes it's good to just drive away to relax, even though it wasn't exactly according to your plan.

By H4H | 15

#6605054 - Friday 13 May 2016 19:44

Call the hotel and ask if they picked it up while cleaning the room and ask them to hold it for you. Then prepare for another two hour road trip

Reply

wow2mylife | 25

#6605058 - Friday 13 May 2016 19:47

they might even mail it for you