Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me via a Whatsapp... - FML

By mkonda - 10/9/2016 17:11 - India

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me via a Whatsapp group. FML

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Great boyfriend

The student becomes the master

Time for the ER

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 20:00

Breaking news

Today, my stepfather woke me up at two in the morning just to tell me he bought a sandwich. FML

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By wasntworththedrive - 20/1/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

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By joshua - 25/1/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

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By insurgent - 3/5/2016 08:31 - Belgium - Antwerpen

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/1/2017 22:00

Today, I went to Sunday school for the first time. The priest assured us we could ask him anything, so I did. When class ended the priest pulled me and my mom aside and asked her to stop bringing me to Sunday school until "she learns not to question the bible and accept what she is told". FML

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By Anonymous - 21/8/2015 16:07 - United States - San Leandro

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

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By izzy_the_pessimist - 10/9/2018 18:30

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

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By Well, shit - 18/1/2016 22:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents forced me to write a thank you letter to my uncle who passed away a week after Christmas. FML

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By nerdychick - 16/2/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

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By art_major - 25/5/2011 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/1/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

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By tommy3824 - 20/8/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2019 06:00 - United States

Beat It

Today, we had an office party and everyone had to dress as a dead star. I love Michael Jackson so I dressed up as him. It turns out I looked more like my boss than Michael. I was then written up for "theoretically" killing my boss. FML

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By starfishedasshole - 30/3/2014 16:50 - United States

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

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By krizleykrislo - 30/4/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was rollerblading in the university gardens and taking pictures. A worker started to yell at me, and I told him that I had perfect control and could stay on the sidewalk. As I turned to skate away, I faceplanted into a bed of prized rare flowers. FML

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By insurance lies - 8/7/2013 14:48 - United States

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

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By ow - 18/12/2016 18:33

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

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By shinymcface - 19/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML

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By creamed - 20/2/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

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By Ouch - 21/6/2013 03:06 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

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By AnnoyedWoman - 17/8/2014 10:19 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

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By torkx3 - 21/7/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

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By Mars - 29/4/2009 09:40 - United States

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

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By Upset Mommy - 14/7/2013 04:32 - United States

Today, my water broke. I called my mom, who had agreed to watch my other two kids while I went to the hospital. When I asked her to come over, she just said, "Sorry, now isn't a good time." FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2016 15:48 - United States - Nashville

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

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By seachelle - 7/5/2019 20:00

Today, the guy I've been seeing posted about having relationship problems and arguments with his girl. I've been in the hospital for surgery for the past few days and have been unable to talk to him. Before this, he told me I was the only one. Guess not. FML

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By Noname - 19/1/2009 23:12 - Australia

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

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By WTF. - 3/8/2019 20:00

Today, I was interviewed by a WalMart employee for a position in their pharmacy. I didn't get the job. I was more qualified than the woman who gave me the interview. FML

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By Mogg - 18/12/2009 08:42 - Australia

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

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By Goodyear - 20/1/2014 03:59 - United States - Glendale

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

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By Scared4Lf - 19/8/2016 18:10 - United States - Lamoure

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

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By Username - 27/1/2010 08:35 - France

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/2/2011 05:19 - Australia

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2018 22:00

Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML

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By merp. - 2/2/2013 06:57 - United States - Wausau

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

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By justcomesnaturally - 4/11/2012 00:37 - United States - Danby

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

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By kylie - 15/11/2010 21:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

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By shininghayley - 15/2/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

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Top comments

By doodycakes | 16

#6695001 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:05

Real men don't break up with their girl over a stupid text message

By AirBusDriver | 23

#6695002 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:06

Wassap with that??

Comments

By doodycakes | 16

#6695001 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:05

Real men don't break up with their girl over a stupid text message

Reply

chuka81 | 27

#6695014 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:56

You took the words right out of my mouth. Real men leave well expressed voicemail in your answering machine.

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#6695040 - Sunday 25 September 2016 11:47

Real men break up via snail mail.

Reply

Earl_KarmasBitch | 28

#6695089 - Sunday 25 September 2016 13:32

Real men break up via carefully choreographed interpretive dance.

Reply

MagnusDeus | 23

#6695194 - Sunday 25 September 2016 19:13

Real men break-dance

Reply

ElectroThunder28 | 16

#6695216 - Sunday 25 September 2016 20:36

Are you really gatekeeping breaking up?

Reply

Rabite | 28

#6695219 - Sunday 25 September 2016 20:41

#notallrealmen

Reply

Oblivion239 | 21

#6695963 - Tuesday 27 September 2016 17:27

Real men break up via pigeon carries

Reply

dlToTlb | 10

#6696257 - Wednesday 28 September 2016 8:51

She said "boy" friend not manfriend tho

By AirBusDriver | 23

#6695002 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:06

Wassap with that??

By Getik | 3

#6695005 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:12

He's a joke, especially for doing something like that. You're better off without him OP.

By StormfrontX33_fml | 24

#6695013 - Sunday 25 September 2016 9:55

If someone can't be honest to your face, then in your heart they never deserved a place. This guy is a douche. He barely even deserves a place in his body as a human being.

By Mightytall | 35

#6695053 - Sunday 25 September 2016 12:36

I guess the good thing is, that Facebook could now immediately update your relationship status for you.

By AbbotsfordVandal | 14

#6695076 - Sunday 25 September 2016 13:14

This got worse with the word "group"

By oldmonk007 | 6

#6695114 - Sunday 25 September 2016 15:02

That [email protected]#ks.!!

By RichardPencil | 28

#6695148 - Sunday 25 September 2016 16:02

It thought it was the Wasssuuupppp group from the old Bud commercials.

After they got all their tongues hanging out, they say that in unison, "Change your Facebook status to single."

By heirofhope | 38

#6695174 - Sunday 25 September 2016 17:57

People disgust me sometimes.

By Vishwakarma | 8

#6695186 - Sunday 25 September 2016 18:43

I know how it feels. Sorry OP.