Animals: Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was...

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 00:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 008

You deserved it 3 650

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Same thing different taste

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 595

You deserved it 5 395

No napping, only feeding

By Not Helping - 06/07/2022 02:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 207

By can't breathe - 22/11/2010 11:33 - Australia

Today, I was feeling nauseous and my cat was comforting me. I breathed in through my nose, and my cat's fur caused me to sneeze. I sneezed so hard, I threw up out my nose. Nothing will get rid of the smell from within my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 3 969

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 165

You deserved it 7 027

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 682

You deserved it 4 725

Startled

By Achoo - 24/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 336

Smelly glasses for life

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 06:30 - United States

Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 312

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 294

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 631

You deserved it 8 426

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 261

ragnarok1540 39

Monday 16 May 2016 11:43

Borrow a life from your cat ... he's got nine anyway.

luther48 20

Monday 16 May 2016 11:40

In the words of Ron Swanson, "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless."

Comments

moodyreallyrocks 27

Monday 16 May 2016 11:36

A life is important..

luther48 20

Monday 16 May 2016 11:40

In the words of Ron Swanson, "Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless."

ragnarok1540 39

Monday 16 May 2016 11:43

Borrow a life from your cat ... he's got nine anyway.

prettygurl89 16

Monday 16 May 2016 11:52

This is soooooo me lol

arrowgold 19

Monday 16 May 2016 12:07

Do you still love him as much as you originally were going to tell him you did?

FranklyYes 9

Monday 16 May 2016 12:18

Kissing is something thats unique for humans to show affection. If you realy wanted to show that you love your cat you could cuddle more

ssnow_fml 20

Monday 16 May 2016 12:49

I don't understand cat people.

wondercat40 28

Monday 16 May 2016 12:49

One time my dad peed on my cat

brownapple 22

Monday 16 May 2016 12:54

...how?

wondercat40 28

Monday 16 May 2016 13:34

actually, it's more innocent than I made it sound. My cat a while ago was fascinated with toilets, and was watching my dad pee. Unfortunately, he ended up trying look closer into the toilet bowl and unknowingly his head collided with my dad's stream, which got pee all over him

TheRealStunts 27

Monday 16 May 2016 13:42

That happened to me once with my budgie. He liked to bathe and always got in the sink whenever he heard the water running. Needless to say he flew into the stream of piss and i had to turn the sink on to let him have a real bath >__>