By Coyote - 10/12/2017 06:45

Today, the cat was screaming for canned food. To save the ears of everyone in the house, I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped the lid, it squirted stinky cat-food gravy all over my shirt. When I tried to remove the shirt, it all went inside my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 750
You deserved it 1 476

CoyoteOldOne tells us more.

I am an uncontrolled human. The cat is uncontrolled also. Cat food doesnt smell nice to me, and it was a strong, wet, meaty smell. Dammit, that came out bad too. Maybe i should work at one of those phone sex lines.

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It’s not often you read an FML that could be either a cat food ad or the premise of soft core porn. “I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped … it squirted … all over my shirt.”

Do you live in an infomercial?

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That story is pre-paw-sterous. At least your cat is feline better now.

You've still got it, I see.

It's a cat-tastrophy!

Help meowt! I cat stop!

You can get the cat to lick it off. If anybody sees you, you’ll probably go to jail.

And now you're going to hell. ;)

So you gave your cat some food so the rest of your family wouldn't have to tuna him out?

Do you live in an infomercial?

Apparently not, because nobody popped put with a miracle product to save me from my clumsy man hands. I miss Ron Popeil. Not that shamwow guy though. He was a little disturbing.

It’s not often you read an FML that could be either a cat food ad or the premise of soft core porn. “I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped … it squirted … all over my shirt.”

Don't forget....and then, it all went down my pants.

Obviously, i should be more careful how I word things...

there's so many thoughts that went through my mind when reading this lol , but just laugh at it cause it's funny , we can all agree ?

How are they stinky? Canned cat food is taste tested by a controlled human being before being approved for sale.

I am an uncontrolled human. The cat is uncontrolled also. Cat food doesnt smell nice to me, and it was a strong, wet, meaty smell. Dammit, that came out bad too. Maybe i should work at one of those phone sex lines.

yes, nothing sexier than being told you have a "strong, wet, meaty scent to you" ;). Ooff.

I have a feeling the cat set you up. Which just reaffirms my life long belief that cats are assholes.

Been there and done that. Sorry OP

I've had cats a long as I can remember (and I'm old) and I cannot begin to imagine how you accomplished this feat. Perhaps someone should help you tend to the kitties...

I agree. Apparemtly, i am not up to the task.