By Coyote - 10/12/2017 06:45

Today, the cat was screaming for canned food. To save the ears of everyone in the house, I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped the lid, it squirted stinky cat-food gravy all over my shirt. When I tried to remove the shirt, it all went inside my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 776
You deserved it 1 491

CoyoteOldOne tells us more.

CoyoteOldOne 17

I am an uncontrolled human. The cat is uncontrolled also. Cat food doesnt smell nice to me, and it was a strong, wet, meaty smell. Dammit, that came out bad too. Maybe i should work at one of those phone sex lines.

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Top comments

Tripartita 44

It’s not often you read an FML that could be either a cat food ad or the premise of soft core ****. “I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped … it squirted … all over my shirt.”

36 2

Comments

exileonmainst 16

That story is pre-paw-sterous. At least your cat is feline better now.

7 6
exileonmainst 16

Help meowt! I cat stop!

5 1
RichardPencil 30

You can get the cat to lick it off. If anybody sees you, you’ll probably go to jail.

8 7
Glowworm56 26

So you gave your cat some food so the rest of your family wouldn't have to tuna him out?

3 4
CoyoteOldOne 17

Apparently not, because nobody popped put with a miracle product to save me from my clumsy man hands. I miss Ron Popeil. Not that shamwow guy though. He was a little disturbing.

3 0
Tripartita 44

It’s not often you read an FML that could be either a cat food ad or the premise of soft core ****. “I decided to give him what he wanted. When I popped … it squirted … all over my shirt.”

36 2
vandj8 9

Don't forget....and then, it all went down my pants.

2 0
CoyoteOldOne 17

Obviously, i should be more careful how I word things...

2 0
gar2014 23

there's so many thoughts that went through my mind when reading this lol , but just laugh at it cause it's funny , we can all agree ?

1 1
Lobby_Bee 17

How are they stinky? Canned cat food is taste tested by a controlled human being before being approved for sale.

3 3
CoyoteOldOne 17

I am an uncontrolled human. The cat is uncontrolled also. Cat food doesnt smell nice to me, and it was a strong, wet, meaty smell. Dammit, that came out bad too. Maybe i should work at one of those phone sex lines.

8 1
kiwienne 21

yes, nothing sexier than being told you have a "strong, wet, meaty scent to you" ;). Ooff.

5 0
Notmymonkeysnotmycircus 16

I have a feeling the cat set you up. Which just reaffirms my life long belief that cats are assholes.

6 0
katluvr 22

I've had cats a long as I can remember (and I'm old) and I cannot begin to imagine how you accomplished this feat. Perhaps someone should help you tend to the kitties...

2 0
CoyoteOldOne 17

I agree. Apparemtly, i am not up to the task.

2 0