By team hit bella with a car - 20/10/2014 02:20 - United States - Odenton
The Top
By Jessie - 25/11/2011 06:13 - United States
Who's Christina?
By Beantown girl - 31/10/2011 00:58 - United States
Cool beans
By stupidquestionsstupidpeople - 30/04/2013 03:32 - United States - Chicago Heights
By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 21:47 - United States
Panic stations!
By Stressmess - 01/12/2009 00:19 - United States
By Raaar - 26/08/2009 04:29 - United States
By pimples - 06/08/2011 13:08 - Australia
guitar_god7007 tells us more.
By holyshitsnacks - 18/03/2014 22:53 - Canada - Woodstock
By Geckosrock99 - 31/08/2012 02:45 - United States - Riverbank
Geckosrock99 tells us more.
OP here. First of all, I'm nineteen. The ninety-nine in my username is just a random number. Not my birth year and not the number of geckos I have (or rather, used to have.) The vibrator wasn't running low on batteries. I had just changed them and, unfortunately for me, it was dying for good. I've had my fear of clowns since I was seven, because of that "IT" movie, so hearing that noise in the dark was pretty scary.
By dafuqdidihear - 11/08/2012 06:53 - Canada - Brampton
dafuqdidihear tells us more.
I'm the original poster. He left, scared that my roommate would come in... I don't live with my parents and I'm most definitely not too young for sex, if I may say so myself. I live in a two story with a large tree in my backyard (hence how he managed to enter my room). He didn't want my roommate seeing him because my roommate just about despises my boyfriend. She'd snap, had she seen him. The last time they had an encounter was in a supermarket and she gave him a black eye. Long story. So he left... Leaving my roommate to wonder why I was tied to a bed at 1am, alone and naked. My answer to why was funny though.. I told her I didn't know why I was tied to a bed, nor naked. I said I woke up that way a while ago and screamed for help but nobody came, so I decided to merely wait for her. lol. She was creeped out and now she won't sleep in her room without her window and doors locked.
By ohmy. - 27/12/2010 17:52 - United States
By preggers - 29/11/2010 19:20 - United States
By mylifesucks - 02/12/2009 01:32 - United States
By Hopeless romantic - 16/08/2014 06:20 - Australia - Perth
Life hacks for kids
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By bull-stuff - 18/01/2013 03:48 - United States - Columbia
Erm… what?
By UrbanCass - 25/06/2009 23:44 - United States
By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 14:08 - United States
By lolzor - 12/03/2009 12:07 - Australia
By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 14:43 - United States
By what - 26/11/2010 19:17 - United States
By Username - 20/08/2011 09:20 - United States
Caught in 480p
By fxck - 04/02/2015 19:28
By Scholar - 16/06/2011 16:03 - United States
Cough up
By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 22:29 - United States
By totallyscrewedomg - 25/01/2011 17:11 - United States
By mike h - 10/08/2012 04:37 - United States - Mcadoo
By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada
Good one, dad
By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
Keywords
Wow. It actually got through. Thanks people. Now everyone can laugh at my unfortunate existence. For those of you wondering, it was our first date, I had arranged it by phone, that's why I hadn't kissed her yet. And my pimples grow really big, really quickly...