Miscellaneous: Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and...

By what - 26/11/2010 19:17 - United States

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 398

You deserved it 4 145

Miscellaneous

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Go to your OWN rooms!

Doggy dog world

By Powerfool - 07/04/2009 10:07 - United States

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 990

You deserved it 10 697

By Anonymous - 23/02/2013 17:25 - Latvia - Aluksne

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 351

You deserved it 2 338

It never rains…

By Anonymous - 25/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was at work when I got a call to say my grandad died. When I was walking out to my car, I realised someone had stolen all my hubcaps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 83

By anon - 04/06/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 069

You deserved it 103 110

By ciararow - 14/04/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 26 131

By Sam - 09/03/2019 14:00

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend at the mall at Victoria's Secret. We got separated, after which I saw 3 of my students. I teach middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 01/03/2015 19:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 3 009

Good tasting

By Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 766

By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 07:21 - Australia

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 134

You deserved it 33 567

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 774

You deserved it 19 059

By rachelllynne - 09/05/2013 17:44 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 771

You deserved it 3 132

By caroline - 29/10/2015 20:02 - Germany

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 265

You deserved it 2 922

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 22:00

Today, I visited with my cousin on her deathbed. When I asked what she was doing, they replied that she was sleeping. Next thing out my mouth without thinking was, "She can sleep when she's dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 2 301

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 08:01

Today, I pulled to the side of the road to take my medication. A cop claimed he’d seen me circling the area several times and gave me a ticket for kerb crawling. I’d literally just got off the motorway to take my pills. My wife is never going to believe I was innocent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 75

By schoolkiddo - 08/09/2010 07:35 - Australia

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I'm an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he 'couldn't afford it.' Oh, and he's making me feed the dog while he's away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 112

You deserved it 3 846

By skyllabeauty1234 - 23/07/2015 03:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 177

You deserved it 2 703

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 804

You deserved it 4 521

By redcherries90 - 08/12/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 3 986

By Earths_Venus - 25/12/2009 06:28 - Australia

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 223

You deserved it 3 472

By Gabi - 20/02/2012 14:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 6 520

By -_- - 13/05/2015 16:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 000

You deserved it 3 177

By Aerostar - 16/06/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 173

You deserved it 69 432

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 791

You deserved it 42 257

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 248

You deserved it 4 924

By disgusted - 16/03/2012 09:02 - United States

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 2 129

C'est la langue de l'amour!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2017 05:00

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 036

You deserved it 438

By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 16:23 - Sweden - Alings?s

Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 311

You deserved it 1 839

By Username - 27/08/2011 00:20 - United States

Today, while waiting for a doctors appointment, my husband started playing angry birds. Continually losing the game ended up raising his blood pressure to the point where he now has to have his medication changed. The new medication is $100 copay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 672

You deserved it 3 253

By DOGSNACHER - 29/12/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 310

You deserved it 2 529

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 914

You deserved it 3 079

Thanks UPSDHLFML

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 04:59

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 60

By Jeepers - 29/06/2009 14:30 - United Kingdom

Today, after playing in an online casino, I won £200. Being pretty tight for cash at the moment I was pretty excited. I then tried to withdraw it to be told that I can't have a penny of it because I didn't register my card details first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 102

You deserved it 41 800

By Cheese4men - 14/05/2010 23:28 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 546

You deserved it 8 750

By Takegami - 15/12/2018 17:30

Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 176

By ilook12 - 24/06/2015 03:23 - United States - Paris

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 2 158

By TheLastGreatDope - 20/02/2018 23:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, I received a random message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 290

You deserved it 439

By mommysgirlapparently - 29/10/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 8 031

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 18:07 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 612

You deserved it 3 863

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 01:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 520

You deserved it 6 513

By outofluckatcollege - 27/08/2016 07:33 - United States - Lewisville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 859

You deserved it 1 445

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Top comments

Mirorbo 26

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Saturday 27 November 2010 2:16

I'm going to assume the giggling darlings are the types that make themselves look like the covers of fashion magazines. Not every woman looks like a model, and there's nothing wrong with that. From my experience, most of the most beautiful of darlings are absolutely nasty at heart.

smokeymcpottt 3

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:24

Don't worry Mr Garrison, you're beautiful.

Sholloway 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:16

ouch! :p

SmallTownCutie 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:36

Maybe they're just uptight bitches? Or you really do look like a man, in which case, shave your face, and put on some lipstick.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:38

lose the dress. find some briefs

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Saturday 27 November 2010 2:01

Yeah, same happens to me whenever I wear a dress, probably why I never do. Thankfully I do in fact have a penis, so it wouldn't bother me. And I agree with 13, if you look like a dude and don't like it, shave your chin, hide your balls, grow your hair out, grow some titties(: endless possibilities, although they may just think you're a tranny in the end! :P It's worth a shot!

moosemonkey1000 6

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Saturday 27 November 2010 3:24

HEEE.... HEEEE..... Look-a like-a man

cwhitney11 4

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Saturday 27 November 2010 3:32

You, my friend, win with a rucka quote.

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Saturday 27 November 2010 4:00

Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man Oh my Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola

raaachel12345 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 5:16

I love Rucka Rucka Ali!! :D

Sholloway 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 5:19

I posted three comments and the lame one showed up?!?

FunwithBumperCar 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 6:34

Next time you have to renew your curves membership...don't.

furburger 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 9:17

Hey #12... How many times are they "walking away"? Department of Redundancy is redundant...

alipod 11

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Saturday 27 November 2010 14:03

always happen to me. i use my fml iphone.

_SUPAFLY22_ 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 21:04

_SUPAFLY22_ 0

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Friday 12 August 2011 21:04

BadMofeelius 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:16

sucks

Asilum 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:19

wowsers lmao

kierbobo 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:19

wow uh shave you legs or something? it's actually not the uncommon. so atleast your not all ^_^

funktown 2

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:19

yeesh. u must look bad in that dress

abbeymcnally 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:22

Are you really that flat chested?

moosemonkey1000 6

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Saturday 27 November 2010 2:27

haha!!

Nadinek98 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 6:02

man boobs (:

lgs25 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 9:30

and you aren't

MermaidSongXOXO 6

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:23

How many gender-bender FMLs have there been now? Next, please!

metal8214 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 2:49

i find a few of them funny, but you are right, there are too many

smokeymcpottt 3

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:24

Don't worry Mr Garrison, you're beautiful.

Judus_beej 0

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Saturday 27 November 2010 4:33

eek a penis is one of southparks best episodes lol

glorialaura21 8

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Saturday 27 November 2010 1:25

Well that's what you get for trying to get a makeover, Getting a pixie cut, and getting your make up done at MAC. Now you look like a transvestite emo boy. fyl