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Hey OP here, thanks for all the support guys. Luckily I didn't get into an accident. I was able to come out of the whole incident without a scratch but a massive itchy red welt. The doctor said I'll be fine in a few days time. :)

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

agreeclassic 39 666

vote type 1 64 629

By Miki - 16/12/2012 23:57 - United States - Kenner

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

agreeclassic 39 665

vote type 1 4 046

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 20:00 - United States - Framingham

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

agreeclassic 39 664

vote type 1 4 911

By painfulintercourse - 22/11/2010 19:36 - Canada

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

agreeclassic 39 664

vote type 1 8 401

Panic on the streets of…

By Anstice - 05/10/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

agreeclassic 39 663

vote type 1 15 571

By missedout - 05/02/2013 22:48 - United States - York

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

agreeclassic 39 659

vote type 1 3 277

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, none of my family was at home. Turns out my one of my aunts was having a birthday party and all my relatives went, but nobody told me because they don’t like me coming around. FML

agreeclassic 1 310

vote type 1 265

Today, I started a new job that was highly recommended by a worker there. The same coworker that is now making my life a living hell. FML

agreeclassic 9 755

vote type 1 829

Today, I accidentally sent a sext to my boss instead of my crush. Now I'm in the doghouse at work AND at home. FML

agreeclassic 222

vote type 1 1 211

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

agreeclassic 7 669

vote type 1 28 913

Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML

agreeclassic 4 589

vote type 1 963

Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML

agreeclassic 3 768

vote type 1 823