The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited
The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

1039583 tells us more.

1039583 10

He owns the business or I would have already!! I know this because I only started closing this late after he found out I have a boyfriend.

winstonweigand tells us more.

winstonweigand 17

Hey y'all it's OP here. This story was actually from a few years back, but someone asked me about the nasty scar on my leg and it reminded me of this event and how pathetic it was. This is how it happened: My family was cleaning out all the cupboards in our kitchen, and when it came to the cans, my dad would open them, empty them and then throw the can in the trash. He tends to not give a shit about Mother Nature. I was tasked with taking the trash out. The can was at the bottom of the bag, facing outwards, and the bag was stretched tight, but it didn't split open so the can wasn't protruding. I was swinging the bag back and forth because I was happy we were done, but when it hit my leg I felt a funny tickling feeling, only to look down and see blood gushing out of a large wound in my leg. Naturally, I was hysterical, because I had no idea how it had happened. The story actually gets funnier from here. In my panic, I ran inside to my family, but since I was bleeding so much, I slipped on my own blood upon entering the kitchen and slammed into a wall head first. I never felt pain throughout the whole thing because of all the adrenaline. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital getting an anesthetic shot DIRECTLY into the gash, followed by a bunch of stitches. Your comments were really funny hahaha, and yeah, we should have recycled, but I was just following my dad's orders! When I'm on my own, I always recycle. I guess Mother Nature punishes those who associate with environment criminals as well :)