By MrOh - 09/08/2011 17:29 - Canada

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 651
You deserved it 4 504

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Top comments

bthomas0319 2

Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says

kaylynheartsyou 10

Then dont talk to her for one day.

Comments

kaylynheartsyou 10

Then dont talk to her for one day.

daysgoby902 6

that's legit

tybtab 5

then when she asks why say your penis told you to

YourEvilHero 12

you married a winner!

#1-that's retarded. I hate when people copy someone that pissed them off. They will just think u r a dumbass and it won't piss them off at all

FMLuvLife 3

if you're both Pices tell her you two don't belong together, and when she asks why say your horoscope says so.

she will listen to a horoscope but not u...there is a problem in this relationship.

Pixxio_O 11

Sell all her shoes and with the money buy a years supply of tomatoes and tell her your horoscope told you to

Shows how stupid people are who follow horoscopes.

Epic_Phale615 0

I like 16's idea...

...and why is this an FML?

56- that's harsh...I mean taking a girls shoes...not a good idea

Pixxio_O 11

Your right 57 :O that is pretty harsh... Sell all her toilet paper?

I agree with 1. its not that hard to not talk to someone for one day.

I swear we as a species are getting fucked over by stupid myths and scams. Well, tell your wife that she is being completely stupid and show her studies to prove to her they're not real. Also get me popcorn as her moronic arguments will be hilarious!

I make a living off scams...

newnew8 0

haaa bitch.

47- I hate people that say stuff is retarded. So STFU.

Pixxio_O 11

109- tomatoes are retarded

114- I thought we were friends.

Pixxio_O 11

109- we are :o I was joking :P

Think of it as a vacation!!!!

enonymous 8

There's a lot of other wives that need to read that horoscope.

juicedboi 7

The FML here is that the horoscope won't be the same tomorrow right? It's ok I understand your pain my friend. Gifts like this only come around once in a lifetime.

they can still have sex, right?

zendaddy0 0

No way 1 that would make him an asshole since it's a guy doing it

Damn_Hippster 11

I see no problem here

how'd she tell u y she's not talking to ya?

that's stupid

tell her that yours wanted you to hire a prostitute. ;) bet shell talk then

bthomas0319 2

Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says

Hahaha. haha. ha. ha. uhh... excuses for humor...

bananaburger 0

Oooo lala

Was this supposed to be funny?

Or you can just beat her. Violence is always the answer.

35- It was supposed to be, but it wasn't funny at all 36- Your a dumbass, beating your wife isn't cool

36 - Violence is never the answer! "Violence?" is the question, and the answer is yes.

A7X_LoVeee 10

49 I think you mean sex.

FMLuvLife 3

#49 only when you're dealing with Justin Bieber. :)

43- I really hate it when I'm referred to as a dumbass by someone who doesn't know the difference between your and you're.

A7X_LoVeee 10

Yo. That kid has 11 million some followers on twitter. Those beliebers get rather vicious when you insult Jbiebs...or so I hear..

maz255 10

op: hehehe bondage sex here i cum..

59- Yes I screwed up one word, I admit it. You have still managed to ignore the rest of my comment though. BTW Thumbing up your own comments right after you post them makes you look a bit desperate for thumbs up

A7X_LoVeee 10

LOLLL. I was actually the first one to thumb his comment up.

No, it appeared with one up, the I thumbed it down, then you thumbed it up

I'm pretty sure 36 was joking. I laughed :/

Stonedmanalex 0

now we know what #70 does

70- it's a joke. I didn't actually want the guy to beat his wife. Are you autistic? I don't think you can sense sarcasm. Oh and btw, I love thumbing up my own comments. Makes me feel good about myself. Thanks.

I just love thumbing my own comments up after I post them, it makes me feel so good about my life :)

Why don't we thumb up our comments together!

sparklecherry 4

Lol!!

58 - Touché. He's the exception. :)

Instead of beating her, give her hugs and kisses, tell her you love her, then tell her to make you a sandwich.

Weetart 8

Yes, that may work. But I feel that this was God's way of telling Op to divorce her ass. That will get to the root of all evil. Horoscopes, you must be crazy to actually depend your life on it.

daysgoby902 6

why would that make her crazy. she probably just didnt want to talk to her husband that day.

aFatFuck 0

Horoscope says: SAMMICH TIME, EVERY TIME. AWWWWWWW YEEEAAAAAAA

mynameis1339 0

I thought of bad stuff. Damn. I'm not okay.

hmac1717 0

Wtf

That's really stupid. I bet, no I don't know...

Thanks for wasting my time with that pointless comment. That was ten seconds of my life wasted reading this pointless drivel.

KiddNYC1O 20

Both of you, thanks so much. Those comments wasted much of my valuable time and effort. Life has now changed for me forever. /sarcasm

46, is something stuck up your ass? Let people comment!

Did you read that comment and think "wow, that was such an intelligent and meaningful comment, that has added alot of my FML experience, thank you for your intelligence and insight."

97- if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all mother*****er.

46, it took you ten seconds to read that haha sad

teenager34 0

46- that took u ten seconds ?

115 If you're gunna curse at someone grow some balls and dont * it out.

duckie227 22

am I the only one who agreed with 46? that comment was pointless and made no sense. someone needs to learn some grammar

46 So u waste Another 30 seconds of your life to write a comment ??

Agreed with #46 too! And #115, we could also apply your logic to #3's comment: "if you have nothing interesting to say, say nothing at all blank blank". And it probably took #46 10 seconds to read the comment because he had to remove all the maple syrup off his forehead after facepalming mid-sentence to the stupidity of #3's comment, while enjoying a great maple syrup toast! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to French cancan myself to my kitchen to make me a French toast! #46, any maple syrup left?

maple syrup jokes , classic and very original

Oh my god, all of you, except for 144 and 161, are you defending #3s comment, that was one of the stupidest comments that I have ever read

It took me 10 seconds because I: Read it once Thought WTF Read it again Thought to myself what a fucking pointless comment

derekwb 0

It took u 10 seconds to read that? Damn

well now that you say you read it more then once. the comment is stupid

duckie227 22

yeah that's right. give me the thumbs down because you know I'm right and you are ashamed you didn't think to say it first

I agree with 46

Its actually pretty stupid and thanks for wasting 12 seconds of my life dick

That's a little bit crazy?

Does she freak when she spills salt :D

wow this fml sounds like something my mom would do

ATLBOI770 0

den stop actn like a b n dnt talk to her

KiddNYC1O 20

I see you have qwerty problems.

Dat is so tru man safe blud from da hood.

YourEvilHero 12

dude you sound so gangsta and cool when you say that!!! I'm totally jealous, like can I have your autograph?

YourEvilHero 12

i guess theres nothing wrong with that if you're 12 or a 23 yr old Justin bieber fan

LolMoqz 10

lolwut

Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me. Can you please learn to type like you have a brain instead of typing like a retarded dumbass.

A7X_LoVeee 10

How is this kid a Justin Beiber fan? Sounds straight from the hood so I think you must mean Lil Wayne.

Learn to spell please, no one can comprehend what your trying to say.

RebekahBrooke 9

if you do not know words, then please don't try to type them.

Weetart 8

#99, if you are trying to get your point across, especially when it comes to correct English and spelling; then make sure every word of your sentence is correct. It's you're not "your."

killianisboss 0

*you're

145 - Sakura's face in your avatar + comment = perfectly lulzworthy.

none of you guys know his life what if he couldn't finish high school. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and if you don't want to be picked on you had to fit in and also the way people talk will stick to you. like if your from England you will have that type of accent. don't judge before you know. what he meant to say is... Refrain yourself from portraying female characteristics and avoid her

I think it's actually easier to type like a normal person rather than that nonesense

KiddNYC1O 20

Does she also make a wish at 11:11?

americanhoney4 6

hey!! there's nothing wrong with making wishes at 11:11!!!

12em12 1

I do.

KiddNYC1O 20

I think for someone who's acknowledged as "wife", most likely over 21, you don't want to practice superficial stuff from High School.

Hey, I make wishes at 11:11! :P

I can't wait for November 11, 2011, at 11:11 because it will be the ultimate wish moment. And it will be very sad also…

Taurusbaybe 8

...I do :(

Lol. Do your wishes come true? Didn't think so.

nerdgastic 4

umm why would it be sad? I mean Skyrim is coming out that day! :D

nerdgastic 4

my other comment was directed at 176

MarkFeehily 0

Me too :)

kevsnev 7

Lol. You even got 11 thumbs up xD

FiestaInMyPants 8

I feel excluded since I've always wished at 12:34..

You have 11 thumbs up... wow. I make a wish, hahaha

I once made a wish at 11:11. I wished it would be 11:11. The clock immediately changed to 11:12.

Mipz 2

Now there are ten thumbs up. :p

179- I bet your a Taurus :)

anakaren_831 1

superstitious much?

annoy the fk outta her until she cracks ?

Umm or just enjoy the silence?

PopRocks14 0

Annnnnnnnd thats why I don't read horoscopes

Omg ur pic! I went to that tim burton exhibit too! :O High fives! :D