FML : Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

246

By MrOh / Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:29 / Canada

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By bthomas0319 | 2

#3073822 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:23

Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says

By kaylynheartsyou | 10

#3073819 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:23

Then dont talk to her for one day.

Comments

By kaylynheartsyou | 10

#3073819 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:23

Then dont talk to her for one day.

daysgoby902 | 6

#3073859 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:26

that's legit

tybtab | 5

#3073870 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:26

then when she asks why say your penis told you to

YourEvilHero | 12

#3073890 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:28

you married a winner!

NuckinFutz | 4

#3074026 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:44

#1-that's retarded. I hate when people copy someone that pissed them off. They will just think u r a dumbass and it won't piss them off at all

FMLuvLife | 3

#3074032 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:44

if you're both Pices tell her you two don't belong together, and when she asks why say your horoscope says so.

idancewithrev | 0

#3074068 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:47

she will listen to a horoscope but not u...there is a problem in this relationship.

Pixxio_O | 11

#3074073 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:47

Sell all her shoes and with the money buy a years supply of tomatoes and tell her your horoscope told you to

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#3074100 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:50

Shows how stupid people are who follow horoscopes.

Epic_Phale615 | 0

#3074104 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:50

I like 16's idea...

333TheSemichrist | 0

#3074110 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:52

...and why is this an FML?

idancewithrev | 0

#3074114 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:53

56- that's harsh...I mean taking a girls shoes...not a good idea

Pixxio_O | 11

#3074147 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:57

Your right 57 :O that is pretty harsh... Sell all her toilet paper?

portcaveman | 4

#3074166 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:59

I agree with 1. its not that hard to not talk to someone for one day.

Iamnotmyself | 17

#3074175 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:00

I swear we as a species are getting fucked over by stupid myths and scams. Well, tell your wife that she is being completely stupid and show her studies to prove to her they're not real. Also get me popcorn as her moronic arguments will be hilarious!

idancewithrev | 0

#3074204 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:03

I make a living off scams...

newnew8 | 0

#3074417 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:35

haaa bitch.

ktateprado | 0

#3074420 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:35

47- I hate people that say stuff is retarded. So STFU.

Pixxio_O | 11

#3074478 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:43

109- tomatoes are retarded

ktateprado | 0

#3074491 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:45

114- I thought we were friends.

Pixxio_O | 11

#3074502 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:47

109- we are :o I was joking :P

littlestmOnster_fml | 1

#3075297 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 01:52

Think of it as a vacation!!!!

enonymous | 8

#3075391 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 02:12

There's a lot of other wives that need to read that horoscope.

juicedboi | 7

#3075453 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 02:23

The FML here is that the horoscope won't be the same tomorrow right? It's ok I understand your pain my friend. Gifts like this only come around once in a lifetime.

commietaco | 0

#3075755 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 03:34

they can still have sex, right?

zendaddy0 | 0

#3075860 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 04:09

No way 1 that would make him an asshole since it's a guy doing it

Damn_Hippster | 11

#3076496 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:27

I see no problem here

schmock_fml | 0

#3076598 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:43

how'd she tell u y she's not talking to ya?

gogreen8856 | 0

#3076857 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:43

that's stupid

ADTRarmyFTW | 4

#3076883 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:48

tell her that yours wanted you to hire a prostitute. ;) bet shell talk then

balljoints | 8

#3086549 - Thursday 11 August 2011 06:15

LOL

By bthomas0319 | 2

#3073822 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:23

Make a fake horoscope and make it say that you have to be your husband's slave and do whatever he says

dirtbiker3325_fml | 0

#3073866 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:26

Hahaha. haha. ha. ha. uhh... excuses for humor...

bananaburger | 0

#3073875 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:27

Oooo lala

halleyroosan | 8

#3073958 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:34

Was this supposed to be funny?

slitherbomb | 0

#3073960 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:35

Or you can just beat her. Violence is always the answer.

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074004 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:40

35- It was supposed to be, but it wasn't funny at all 36- Your a dumbass, beating your wife isn't cool

Simpson143 | 2

#3074035 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:44

36 - Violence is never the answer! "Violence?" is the question, and the answer is yes.

A7X_LoVeee | 10

#3074063 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:47

49 I think you mean sex.

FMLuvLife | 3

#3074077 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:48

#49 only when you're dealing with Justin Bieber. :)

slitherbomb | 0

#3074087 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:49

43- I really hate it when I'm referred to as a dumbass by someone who doesn't know the difference between your and you're.

A7X_LoVeee | 10

#3074105 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:50

Yo. That kid has 11 million some followers on twitter. Those beliebers get rather vicious when you insult Jbiebs...or so I hear..

maz255 | 10

#3074112 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:52

op: hehehe bondage sex here i cum..

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074130 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:56

59- Yes I screwed up one word, I admit it. You have still managed to ignore the rest of my comment though. BTW Thumbing up your own comments right after you post them makes you look a bit desperate for thumbs up

A7X_LoVeee | 10

#3074160 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:59

LOLLL. I was actually the first one to thumb his comment up.

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074191 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:02

No, it appeared with one up, the I thumbed it down, then you thumbed it up

6sick6 | 4

#3074202 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:03

I'm pretty sure 36 was joking. I laughed :/

Stonedmanalex | 0

#3074214 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:04

now we know what #70 does

slitherbomb | 0

#3074218 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:04

70- it's a joke. I didn't actually want the guy to beat his wife. Are you autistic? I don't think you can sense sarcasm. Oh and btw, I love thumbing up my own comments. Makes me feel good about myself. Thanks.

6sick6 | 4

#3074242 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:07

GO 88! :D

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074247 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:08

I just love thumbing my own comments up after I post them, it makes me feel so good about my life :)

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074259 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:10

Why don't we thumb up our comments together!

sparklecherry | 4

#3074269 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:12

Lol!!

Simpson143 | 2

#3074273 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:14

58 - Touché. He's the exception. :)

ktateprado | 0

#3074457 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:40

Instead of beating her, give her hugs and kisses, tell her you love her, then tell her to make you a sandwich.

Weetart | 8

#3075935 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 04:24

Yes, that may work. But I feel that this was God's way of telling Op to divorce her ass. That will get to the root of all evil. Horoscopes, you must be crazy to actually depend your life on it.

daysgoby902 | 6

#3076487 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:26

why would that make her crazy. she probably just didnt want to talk to her husband that day.

aFatFuck | 0

#3076712 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:06

Horoscope says: SAMMICH TIME, EVERY TIME. AWWWWWWW YEEEAAAAAAA

mynameis1339 | 0

#3076890 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:50

I thought of bad stuff. Damn. I'm not okay.

hmac1717 | 0

#3101979 - Saturday 13 August 2011 09:41

Wtf

By Thisismypchere | 8

#3073826 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:23

That's really stupid. I bet, no I don't know...

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074017 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:43

Thanks for wasting my time with that pointless comment. That was ten seconds of my life wasted reading this pointless drivel.

KiddNYC1O | 20

#3074199 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:03

Both of you, thanks so much. Those comments wasted much of my valuable time and effort. Life has now changed for me forever. /sarcasm

6sick6 | 4

#3074229 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:05

46, is something stuck up your ass? Let people comment!

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074275 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:14

Did you read that comment and think "wow, that was such an intelligent and meaningful comment, that has added alot of my FML experience, thank you for your intelligence and insight."

BADDiam | 4

#3074284 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:15

Lola

ktateprado | 0

#3074481 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:43

97- if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all mother*****er.

gchartier90 | 0

#3074651 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 12:09

46, it took you ten seconds to read that haha sad

teenager34 | 0

#3075193 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 01:31

46- that took u ten seconds ?

_Oblivion_ | 12

#3075209 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 01:35

115 If you're gunna curse at someone grow some balls and dont * it out.

duckie227 | 17

#3075217 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 01:36

am I the only one who agreed with 46? that comment was pointless and made no sense. someone needs to learn some grammar

PutItIn | 8

#3075698 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 03:22

46 So u waste Another 30 seconds of your life to write a comment ??

raphanne_fml | 33

#3075761 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 03:35

Agreed with #46 too! And #115, we could also apply your logic to #3's comment: "if you have nothing interesting to say, say nothing at all blank blank". And it probably took #46 10 seconds to read the comment because he had to remove all the maple syrup off his forehead after facepalming mid-sentence to the stupidity of #3's comment, while enjoying a great maple syrup toast! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to French cancan myself to my kitchen to make me a French toast! #46, any maple syrup left?

gchartier90 | 0

#3075975 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 04:30

maple syrup jokes , classic and very original

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3077084 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 08:39

Oh my god, all of you, except for 144 and 161, are you defending #3s comment, that was one of the stupidest comments that I have ever read

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3077117 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 08:49

It took me 10 seconds because I: Read it once Thought WTF Read it again Thought to myself what a fucking pointless comment

derekwb | 0

#3077649 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 10:03

It took u 10 seconds to read that? Damn

gchartier90 | 0

#3078303 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 01:09

well now that you say you read it more then once. the comment is stupid

duckie227 | 17

#3078753 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 03:18

yeah that's right. give me the thumbs down because you know I'm right and you are ashamed you didn't think to say it first

NikkaIraKate | 1

#3079412 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 05:26

I agree with 46

NikkaIraKate | 1

#3079422 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 05:27

Its actually pretty stupid and thanks for wasting 12 seconds of my life dick

By Tesaatje | 12

#3073830 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:24

That's a little bit crazy?

Frijolero_92 | 1

#3074001 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:40

Does she freak when she spills salt :D

annasworld | 3

#3074397 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:31

wow this fml sounds like something my mom would do

By ATLBOI770 | 0

#3073841 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:24

den stop actn like a b n dnt talk to her

KiddNYC1O | 20

#3073893 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:29

I see you have qwerty problems.

cowsgomooatyou | 8

#3073907 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:30

Dat is so tru man safe blud from da hood.

YourEvilHero | 12

#3073913 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:30

dude you sound so gangsta and cool when you say that!!! I'm totally jealous, like can I have your autograph?

YourEvilHero | 12

#3073928 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:32

i guess theres nothing wrong with that if you're 12 or a 23 yr old Justin bieber fan

LolMoqz | 10

#3073939 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:32

lolwut

Brool_Story_Co | 17

#3074057 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:46

Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me. Can you please learn to type like you have a brain instead of typing like a retarded dumbass.

A7X_LoVeee | 10

#3074216 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:04

How is this kid a Justin Beiber fan? Sounds straight from the hood so I think you must mean Lil Wayne.

JenDanielle917 | 13

#3074299 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:16

Learn to spell please, no one can comprehend what your trying to say.

Justforlolz | 12

#3074327 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:22

...lolwut?

RebekahBrooke | 9

#3074398 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 11:31

if you do not know words, then please don't try to type them.

Weetart | 8

#3076176 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 05:10

#99, if you are trying to get your point across, especially when it comes to correct English and spelling; then make sure every word of your sentence is correct. It's you're not "your."

killianisboss | 0

#3076735 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:16

*you're

Schiffy | 18

#3078123 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 12:13

145 - Sakura's face in your avatar + comment = perfectly lulzworthy.

incrapper | 7

#3082802 - Thursday 11 August 2011 04:29

none of you guys know his life what if he couldn't finish high school. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and if you don't want to be picked on you had to fit in and also the way people talk will stick to you. like if your from England you will have that type of accent. don't judge before you know. what he meant to say is... Refrain yourself from portraying female characteristics and avoid her

9gag4life | 1

#3764880 - Wednesday 21 December 2011 08:49

I think it's actually easier to type like a normal person rather than that nonesense

By KiddNYC1O | 20

#3073848 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:25

Does she also make a wish at 11:11?

americanhoney4 | 6

#3073903 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:30

hey!! there's nothing wrong with making wishes at 11:11!!!

12em12 | 1

#3073998 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:39

I do.

KiddNYC1O | 20

#3074013 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:42

I think for someone who's acknowledged as "wife", most likely over 21, you don't want to practice superficial stuff from High School.

alyssa0 | 4

#3074602 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 12:04

Hey, I make wishes at 11:11! :P

RacerX1695 | 1

#3076384 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:07

I can't wait for November 11, 2011, at 11:11 because it will be the ultimate wish moment. And it will be very sad also…

Taurusbaybe | 8

#3076410 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:10

...I do :(

JokerJohn7 | 0

#3076413 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:11

Lol. Do your wishes come true? Didn't think so.

nerdgastic | 4

#3076570 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:38

umm why would it be sad? I mean Skyrim is coming out that day! :D

nerdgastic | 4

#3076589 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:42

my other comment was directed at 176

MarkFeehily | 0

#3076743 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:19

Me too :)

kevsnev | 7

#3076797 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 07:31

Lol. You even got 11 thumbs up xD

FiestaInMyPants | 8

#3076954 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 08:06

I feel excluded since I've always wished at 12:34..

Hockeyboy4280 | 18

#3077104 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 08:47

You have 11 thumbs up... wow. I make a wish, hahaha

KYCats95 | 5

#3077798 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 10:39

I once made a wish at 11:11. I wished it would be 11:11. The clock immediately changed to 11:12.

Mipz | 2

#3079155 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 04:37

Now there are ten thumbs up. :p

incrapper | 7

#3082772 - Thursday 11 August 2011 04:22

179- I bet your a Taurus :)

By anakaren_831 | 1

#3073849 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:25

superstitious much?

By ant1078 | 7

#3073852 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:25

annoy the fk outta her until she cracks ?

MurphyS94 | 4

#3075825 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 03:59

Umm or just enjoy the silence?

By PopRocks14 | 0

#3073855 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:25

Annnnnnnnd thats why I don't read horoscopes

By xXxXxMasonxXxXx | 7

#3073861 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:26

Umm wow

izzabella43 | 0

#3076617 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 06:48

Omg ur pic! I went to that tim burton exhibit too! :O High fives! :D

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