Today, my boyfriend whipped out his proverbial notebook, where he obviously keeps notes of what I do and how I act during sex, and then grilled me about every single one of those things. Now I'm scared to do anything because I don't want to be interrogated about it later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend really gets off hearing me talk about previous sexual experiences in extreme detail while we are having sex. I have run out of real stories, so now I just make stuff up, but it's getting hard keeping track. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he was going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an online blog that he updates every time we have sex. It’s ridiculously detailed, right down to the slight difference in the pink of my vagina and the slightly darker pink of my asshole. He's a dead man when he gets home from work. FML
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never seems to have his own opinion, always agrees with me, and does whatever I want. That’s when he admitted he’s scared of me and is terrified of saying or doing anything I won’t like. I have no idea what I did to scare him this badly. FML
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Top comments
WaluigiKnuckles 5
just don't have sex with him. if he asks why just remind him.
loopylaura88 17
do it back. start telling him he's not hard enough, big enough or having enough stamina to please you.
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Comments (30)
WaluigiKnuckles 5
just don't have sex with him. if he asks why just remind him.
EmDizzle2007 28
you watch too many movies.
Shawnie Gallant 24
Don’t have sex.
RichardPencil 32
I guess the sexy nun outfit is right out!
TxKitten79 10
Tell him communicating is one thing, interrogation about sex is another. Then burn his notebook and tell him if he gets another one you wont have sex with him.
loopylaura88 17
do it back. start telling him he's not hard enough, big enough or having enough stamina to please you.
chosha_fml 27
Ditch this asshole. Why are you putting up with that behaviour?
Iamthebanzai22 21
Isn't sex supposed to be fun? Get away from him, his behaviour sounds abusive.
Sonotsuave 37
Excuse me? What kind of idiotic behavior is that? Uh-uh. Either tell him to stop with the immaturity or do the same to him and see how he likes it. If he’s going to continue to be an insensitive prick then start considering packing your bags hun.
bloopaloop 27
You shouldn’t be screaming other people’s names during the act
tounces7 28
Get the **** out even the idea of keeping a notebook to grill you with sounds toxic as hell.