Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116721) - you deserved it (16522)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

#555846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116371) - you deserved it (15661)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

#208203
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115542) - you deserved it (5569)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115190) - you deserved it (43213)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115059) - you deserved it (12659)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114729) - you deserved it (5285)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114689) - you deserved it (8671)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114280) - you deserved it (6873) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114242) - you deserved it (10572)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113763) - you deserved it (8021)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

#874593
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113139) - you deserved it (9301)

On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113135) - you deserved it (5994)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: