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Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104486) - you deserved it (14017)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103496) - you deserved it (3614)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102968) - you deserved it (13931)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

#871042
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102644) - you deserved it (5071)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102466) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102009) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML

#945188
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101801) - you deserved it (14916)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101044) - you deserved it (11755)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

#663425
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100840) - you deserved it (3808)

On 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100447) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100250) - you deserved it (9010)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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