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Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119809) - you deserved it (4806)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119446) - you deserved it (6620)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119295) - you deserved it (7419)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118041) - you deserved it (15987)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117800) - you deserved it (8624)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116717) - you deserved it (8823)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116028) - you deserved it (5664)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

#555846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115790) - you deserved it (15616)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115522) - you deserved it (271086)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115328) - you deserved it (16250)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114750) - you deserved it (12634)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)



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