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Today, my mom had my girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121745) - you deserved it (280546)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

#4306475
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121442) - you deserved it (4902)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

#828754
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120992) - you deserved it (5532)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:39am - health - by juliet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (120568) - you deserved it (9161)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119944) - you deserved it (6647)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

#2740699
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119719) - you deserved it (7437)

On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118928) - you deserved it (16046)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117125) - you deserved it (12546)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116573) - you deserved it (16506)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116386) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

#555846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116236) - you deserved it (15650)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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