By valnaj1 - 25/12/2012 03:03 - Denmark - Vamdrup
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Well, OP is from Denmark, where the legal drinking age is 16. And that kind of makes it a different story, if you compare it with the legal age in the US. I'm not saying what she did was a clever thing, but I don't think we should say that her parents are failed. We know nothing about their history, so we shouldn't jump to such harsh conclusions like that. I would say the average try drinking before its legal, and hey, I would say friends have more impact on a teenage girl than a parent. I'd image "drink! Drink! Drink" from friends would be more scary than a mom telling you not to. At 14 you wanna do everything to fit in...
I don't know if I'd say her parents failed her. There are a lot of societal pressures to have sex and ops daughter may have given into peer pressure to fit in. Some people can be the best parents in the world but sometimes it's not enough; teenagers are going to do what they want.
Ok this comment is in reply to all the people who have said she has failed as a parent. She most likely Op has not failed as a parent I say this because I'm 14 and some of the people I hang out with do drugs, get drunk every week, are fucking everyone they date, and be the number one teenage stereotype out there, assholes. Most teens today are fucked up and can't do the right thing to save there life. My neighbor's daughter was caught with coke in her system and when questioned she said she was too drunk to remember. Point is the parents haven't failed it's the teenagers who have failed.
128 - I try not to blame parents without knowing the full circumstances but can you honestly say that all those idiots you know have loving, knowedgeable, moral parents but they didn't make a difference? I just have a hard time believing that you can have great parents and still go that wrong...teens make mistakes, sure, but I think the magnitude of those mistakes may depend on how you were brought up.
#158 - I've met plenty of teenagers that, while their parents are the sweetest in the world, they still do those things. I don't know why. And maybe, there is the possibility that the parents aren't really sweet at all. I know that a friend of mine has the sweetest mom and he screwed up and got into drugs. He deeply regrets it now. #160 - Exactly! I am 17 as well and I've never done any of that either. My friends don't do those things either, except for a few of them and even then it is to a much lesser extent than I see others do it.
I couldn't agree more. I'm fifteen and I almost always blame the child as opposed to the parent. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but most teenagers refuse to learn from them. Parents can't control the decisions their children make, they can only mold them as best as they can while they have the opportunity. I feel that it's ignorant to blame the parent for something they had no control over.
158 - my parents were amazing, my mum taught me about sex and the dangers of drink and drugs but I still started doing all that when I was 14. I did it cause everyone else was doing it and my parents couldn't stop it. I wouldn't judge OP or her daughter with the little facts that we have, I just feel sorry for OP having to find out this way that her daughter is having sex.
Oh ffs stop blaming the parents it's not just how you were brought up its with who an where, I'm 17 I rarely drink and occasionally smoke..... People I used to hang out with we're smoking weed at 13 and selling it by the time they were 15 my mother is not the best parent around..... And her boyfriend most definitely isn't, my up bringing was shit my a few months ago I had an offer to train with the British Olympic squad... What I'm trying to say is that it's not the parents but you as a person, and how impressionable you are!
Actually most of them do. My neighbors mom is a wonderful person who opposes drugs, goes to church, and babysits my sister. Most teens who do fucked up shit have good parents, but these kids are corrupted by piers, music, tv, and other things that they see on a daily basis. The reason i have grown up to be mature, responsible, and caring is because my parents have shielded me from that shit. My father is a police officer and when I went into a public school showed me pictures of crack heads, drug addicts, and alcoholics. Knowing that this is the shit that happens when u do drugs or drink excessively I was able to avoid these things.
Well teenagers seem to do everything from what I hear. I overhear kids talking about getting laid, always getting wasted, and "be smokin' dat weed erry day". Then there is me just reading my Physics book in a corner saying quietly to myself "I'm trying to learn about freakin' Newton's laws here."
There are actually a large number of teenagers who do not care for that crazy, always drunk, sex with everyone life style. None of my current friends are crazy. A few years ago I had terrible friends but I had discovered this amazing group of people who didn't like that nasty stuff. Our little "group" became so much bigger. Now I only have good, nice friends. Seriously, just as many adults do that shit.
I'm eighteen and legally allowed to drink and have sex, but I don't binge drink or sleep around and never have. I try not to judge, but I know twelve year olds who have had sex with more people than I've laid eyes on...Okay, that was an exaggeration, but you get it. There's something weird about kids getting different people to sleep with them every night. I feel awkward being alone with someone I just met, I don't know how I'd push myself into getting naked around them.
Just as many adults are like this 14 year old in the FML. And they never grow up. It has nothing to do with "this generation." Yes, in olden times woman were married at 14-16 years of age. I don't see how that is a bad thing, if the woman is mature and not like this little brat in the FML. A girl's body "changes" at an average age of 12. (correct me if I am wrong) So why shouldn't woman get married that young, unless they are not mature?
228 - You do realize that puberty is not something that just happens, right? Changes in a girl's body can take years. Twelve is the average age for menarche, but the body doesn't complete puberty until the ages of 15-17. So, just because a girl menstruates doesn't mean that she's actually ready to have kids or to even have a sexual relationship, let alone marry.