By valnaj1 - 25/12/2012 03:03 - Denmark - Vamdrup

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 89 967
You deserved it 27 742

Same thing different taste


Lindahhxd 7

I'd make her call Thomas and force her tell him he has a small penis.

Why does he have to suffer for her acts? He has his own parents for that

1 - I bet OP had the same facial expression as your profile pic after hearing this

Well more like Fhl for having a small dick and having a girl fake an ******.

awesomeman10 6

Its gonna suck for thomas. If he sees this lol.

Inediblepeaches 15

Just stop, 213.... Just stop...

Looks like you may have to fake being her parent.

I would say they already have faked being parents

Yeah, they've already failed at that as well.

Well, OP is from Denmark, where the legal drinking age is 16. And that kind of makes it a different story, if you compare it with the legal age in the US. I'm not saying what she did was a clever thing, but I don't think we should say that her parents are failed. We know nothing about their history, so we shouldn't jump to such harsh conclusions like that. I would say the average try drinking before its legal, and hey, I would say friends have more impact on a teenage girl than a parent. I'd image "drink! Drink! Drink" from friends would be more scary than a mom telling you not to. At 14 you wanna do everything to fit in...

#122, So true that this story isn't especially shocking or unusual when I'm used to the Scandinavian legal ages of drinking and sex. Think most people did something like this in that age, except the complaining to mummy whilst drunk part, I suppose.

I don't know if I'd say her parents failed her. There are a lot of societal pressures to have sex and ops daughter may have given into peer pressure to fit in. Some people can be the best parents in the world but sometimes it's not enough; teenagers are going to do what they want.

Ok this comment is in reply to all the people who have said she has failed as a parent. She most likely Op has not failed as a parent I say this because I'm 14 and some of the people I hang out with do drugs, get drunk every week, are ******* everyone they date, and be the number one teenage stereotype out there, assholes. Most teens today are ****** up and can't do the right thing to save there life. My neighbor's daughter was caught with coke in her system and when questioned she said she was too drunk to remember. Point is the parents haven't failed it's the teenagers who have failed.

128 - I try not to blame parents without knowing the full circumstances but can you honestly say that all those idiots you know have loving, knowedgeable, moral parents but they didn't make a difference? I just have a hard time believing that you can have great parents and still go that wrong...teens make mistakes, sure, but I think the magnitude of those mistakes may depend on how you were brought up.

abbiyroad 16

128 that doesn't make it any better. Maybe you should question the crowd you are hanging out with ... I'm 17 and have never done any of that

#158 - I've met plenty of teenagers that, while their parents are the sweetest in the world, they still do those things. I don't know why. And maybe, there is the possibility that the parents aren't really sweet at all. I know that a friend of mine has the sweetest mom and he screwed up and got into drugs. He deeply regrets it now. #160 - Exactly! I am 17 as well and I've never done any of that either. My friends don't do those things either, except for a few of them and even then it is to a much lesser extent than I see others do it.

I couldn't agree more. I'm fifteen and I almost always blame the child as opposed to the parent. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but most teenagers refuse to learn from them. Parents can't control the decisions their children make, they can only mold them as best as they can while they have the opportunity. I feel that it's ignorant to blame the parent for something they had no control over.

158 - my parents were amazing, my mum taught me about sex and the dangers of drink and drugs but I still started doing all that when I was 14. I did it cause everyone else was doing it and my parents couldn't stop it. I wouldn't judge OP or her daughter with the little facts that we have, I just feel sorry for OP having to find out this way that her daughter is having sex.

Oh ffs stop blaming the parents it's not just how you were brought up its with who an where, I'm 17 I rarely drink and occasionally smoke..... People I used to hang out with we're smoking weed at 13 and selling it by the time they were 15 my mother is not the best parent around..... And her boyfriend most definitely isn't, my up bringing was shit my a few months ago I had an offer to train with the British Olympic squad... What I'm trying to say is that it's not the parents but you as a person, and how impressionable you are!

Actually most of them do. My neighbors mom is a wonderful person who opposes drugs, goes to church, and babysits my sister. Most teens who do ****** up shit have good parents, but these kids are corrupted by piers, music, tv, and other things that they see on a daily basis. The reason i have grown up to be mature, responsible, and caring is because my parents have shielded me from that shit. My father is a police officer and when I went into a public school showed me pictures of crack heads, drug addicts, and alcoholics. Knowing that this is the shit that happens when u do drugs or drink excessively I was able to avoid these things.

I only hang out with them because I am trying to keep them from that lifestyle, but sadly i am failing and they continue to do these things. :(

DarkSaul 20

Op should have said to the daughter, "Let me take you to the police station *cough* I mean home."

LuckBeNimble 19

yeah. poor Thomas sure got the short end of the stick in this situation. or actually, I guess your daughter did. (;

oj101 33

I agree. They must all be in a Sticky stickuation, especially Thomas the Tank. The daughter is way too young. Cum on, she's only 14 years old. It looks like they all got the short end of the Stick.

oj101 33

Oh who am I kidding? I'm no Pleonasm when it comes to puns.

Yeah yeah, poor Thomas. He lost his virginity at 14... That makes me feel good about myself

LiterOfCola 16

By dictionary definition, #55 kind of was a pleonasm :P

You know what they say, tiny actions make big problems. EDIT: Having sex at 14 is not a tiny action metaphorically. Physically saying because Tommy has a little wang.

al122397 13
threer 30

Unfortunately, no one said Thomas was 14 as well.

tjolivas 9

Well I hope you do something about this. She's a little young to be making such choices

So true. Sex in young teens can cause serious cervical problems, and binge drinking before 15 can cause severe brain damage. OP it's time that you had a talk with your daughter about poor life choices. Good luck and happy holidays. :3

Well teenagers seem to do everything from what I hear. I overhear kids talking about getting laid, always getting wasted, and "be smokin' dat weed erry day". Then there is me just reading my Physics book in a corner saying quietly to myself "I'm trying to learn about freakin' Newton's laws here."

That was me in Mexico. All my friends were drinking like crazy because the legal age is almost nonexistent and I was just like, "What a nice sunset..."

Corrupt_waffles 13

Ninjapiratejesus thank you for restoring my faith in some humans. :/ my 'friends' do that here too....they also go around running away from the police after they harass them. I need new friends.

Laurenlou 24

There are actually a large number of teenagers who do not care for that crazy, always drunk, sex with everyone life style. None of my current friends are crazy. A few years ago I had terrible friends but I had discovered this amazing group of people who didn't like that nasty stuff. Our little "group" became so much bigger. Now I only have good, nice friends. Seriously, just as many adults do that shit.

WrongRomance 11

As a teen, I've had every opportunity for that stuff. Just offered to me. Drugs, sex, alcohol. I've said no to all of it. Unfortunately, I couldn't escape all perils, because some don't know the meaning of no, but even now I do not want it.

I'm eighteen and legally allowed to drink and have sex, but I don't binge drink or sleep around and never have. I try not to judge, but I know twelve year olds who have had sex with more people than I've laid eyes on...Okay, that was an exaggeration, but you get it. There's something weird about kids getting different people to sleep with them every night. I feel awkward being alone with someone I just met, I don't know how I'd push myself into getting naked around them.

Yeah it's sad... whatever happened to learning being a virtue? Study first then party when you have a life, a good job, money and can appreciate things

kind of late after the little ***** already spread her legs

Eh, I don't think there's anything morally wrong with what the daughter did. It was stupid, sure, but not the most terrible thing she could have done.

Looks like someone had a great Christmas eve! :D

Well, neither OP nor her daughter seem to have had fun. But I'm sure a lot of other people did

Nightwing98 22

Why are you writing the fml instead of her?!

Yeah, why aren't you writing her damnit!?

At 14? I'm not sure their is a punishment big enough for her but I surely hope you find one

LuckBeNimble 19

Thomas wasn't big enough for her either.

This generation? In the past women would be married by that age.

^ Oh shit, you pointed out a fact that contradicts popular sanctimonious opinion. Brace for thumbs down.

Every generation has its share of morons. Most of these moronic moments happened before social media, so they are not well documented.

WrongRomance 11

That is just.. despicable. Pray to god a condom was involved.

#82 As I realize this has nothing to do with the post, your Excalibur profile picture caught my eye and I ended up reading your description (not to be stalkerish) and you seem like a person I would get along with. Nice. Carry on.

Laurenlou 24

Just as many adults are like this 14 year old in the FML. And they never grow up. It has nothing to do with "this generation." Yes, in olden times woman were married at 14-16 years of age. I don't see how that is a bad thing, if the woman is mature and not like this little brat in the FML. A girl's body "changes" at an average age of 12. (correct me if I am wrong) So why shouldn't woman get married that young, unless they are not mature?

Sinkhole 26

228 - You do realize that puberty is not something that just happens, right? Changes in a girl's body can take years. Twelve is the average age for menarche, but the body doesn't complete puberty until the ages of 15-17. So, just because a girl menstruates doesn't mean that she's actually ready to have kids or to even have a sexual relationship, let alone marry.

WrongRomance 11

I didn't have a period until I was in 8th grade, at 14 years old.

According to your profile, do you not fall under the same generation?