The Top

The person i had ordering was a close friend of which i am very comfortable with. I guess you could say i got a little too comfortable! After we realized what I did, we just laughed and brushed it off. From now on i will make sure i wear gloves because I wouldn't want this to happen to anyone i don't know!

By awkward - 26/09/2016 21:31 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 031

You deserved it 1 380

By leah_kascar - 22/08/2016 01:45 - United States - Hialeah

Today, in the class I'm teaching, I assigned my students an essay to complete for homework. One student asked me if I was deducting points for bad spelling. I teach English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 029

You deserved it 2 394

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 22:01

Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 025

You deserved it 1 137

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 023

You deserved it 31 323

By Anonymous - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Australia

Today, I checked my Tumblr account to see if anyone had commented on the photos of my new tattoo. There were only 3 posts, and 2 of them were people linking it to "Awful Tattoo" blogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 023

You deserved it 6 297

By extremereviews - 16/08/2015 22:14 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 020

You deserved it 14 849

extremereviews tells us more.

extremereviews 26

Monday 17 August 2015 23:00

Hello everyone! Yes I do have insurance, but the last time a friend of mine needed an ambulance the bill was still over $1500 after insurance. Also yes, in America you do have to pay when you go to the hospital. Luckily the water park just so happened to be built directly next to a fire station, so they just wheeled me over there and treated me on site. I was very dehydrated, and when I blacked out I was actually in line to get a water from the concession stand but I had been waiting in line for over 30 minutes in the heat which didn't help.

By sexisdead - 31/07/2016 17:16

Today, my wife discovered Cosmopolitan magazine, and now only wants to have sex if I agree to try some of their sex tips. I fear for my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 019

You deserved it 1 878

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 018

You deserved it 91 967

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 09:15 - Netherlands - Veldhoven

Today, I think I've conditioned my body to not function without technology, as I simply couldn't take a shit until I got up, fetched my phone and returned to the toilet to read stuff on here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 017

You deserved it 6 326

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 017

You deserved it 33 514

Call Mario

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 15:57 - Canada

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 017

You deserved it 38 671

By JustTheWife - 12/05/2016 17:24 - Denmark

Today, my husband and I got into a huge fight about his ex-fiancée, after I found out he's been confessing his love to her behind my back. Our fight ended with him yelling that yes, she's the love of his life, "But I still married you, didn't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 014

You deserved it 1 993

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 009

You deserved it 71 010

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 007

You deserved it 33 557

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 04:48 - United States - Rocky Mount

Today, I had to sit through the wedding of my best friend and the love of my life, and pretend to be happy for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 007

You deserved it 3 386

Misguided

By baller - 08/06/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 006

You deserved it 92 990

By sharni88 - 04/03/2011 07:13 - Australia

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 002

You deserved it 29 387

By Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 47 005

By T_Willl - 17/11/2010 03:43

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 57 719

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 995

You deserved it 42 053

By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 995

You deserved it 179 212

By maturity - 08/04/2013 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 64 291

By Yikes - 27/09/2016 04:34 - United States - Cumberland

Today, I finally found the single flaw in my perfect boyfriend. It's herpes. Genital herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 988

You deserved it 1 732

By mermaidkeels - 18/06/2016 08:51 - United States

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 983

You deserved it 1 015

Bad friend

By collegegirl90 - 09/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty, because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 982

You deserved it 112 777

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The Top

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 874

You deserved it 14 399

Today, it's been one week since spicing things up with mine and my husband's sex life by involving whipped cream. We can now smell of out of date diary, no matter what soap products we use showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 808

Today, I was on my way home and there were BLM protestors, who I have no problem with, but my car was parked where they were and I had to sit there for three hours until they left so I could drive off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 326

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 910

You deserved it 42 550

Today, my shirt caught on fire when I was burning paper for my ancestors at the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 378

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 945

You deserved it 6 018