By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 15:16 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 978
You deserved it 42 005

Same thing different taste

Top comments

cameronman9 2

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her


This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Well OP, you used a stripper in the 1st place, you let her give you a lap dance as well. Because you're paying I'm sure you could have said no to her.

Yeah Storm, and according to Two and a Half Men, they just need sex all the time, thanks to hormones. We need to keep our partners pregnant, all the time, for the extra sexy sex guys; who's with me?

outstandtacular 11

How is this an FML if you chose to get a lap dance from a pregnant stripper?

I somehow first read it as "pregnant spider". I need an eye examination...


Lol # 101, I wonder how that would work...

Off topic but, #1, your profile picture is hilarious.

kirakush13 4

58 you obviously have never been with a pregnant chick. Two and a half men is a show... In reality, pregnant women are moody, bloated, cranky, sore, and have an extremely lowered libido, not to mention the gigantic turn off from feeling the baby kicking inside of you. Even if the guy can't feel it, the mum can feel every little movement, and there is nothing less exciting then the idea of having sex while your pregnant. I have a lot of friends who went over 6 months with out sex while pregnant.. But hey, if that's what your into go right ahead...

bandeek 30

115. im 8 months pregnant, and ive wanted sex this entire pregnancy. its different for everyone.

baddawg365 0

114- You got a lap dance from a pregnant stripper?

Sonfang 19

#115 I've known a lot of women who are just the opposite! They crave sex more than normal, plus their partners seem happier without having to worry about "safe" sex. As for you OP, get over it, there are beautiful pregnant women. If you were paying for it you should have said "no thank you" when she came in/asked you, or asked for a substitution.

im 5 months pregnant, and I cant get enough sex! lol i want it waayyy more than I ever did before.

I'm five and a half months pregnant and hate sex right now. I have the whole time. It's painful, uncomfortable and when the baby kicks it's a huge turn off. But everyone is different. Some pregnant women have an extremely high libido (lucky bitches), some have absolutely no libido and some are just average. People need to stop making assumptions, especially when it comes to pregnancy. And as for OP, well YDI for letting her. Aren't men meant to find pregnant women sexy and beautiful anyway? I'm always shocked at the amount of wolf whistles, leers and general primitive rudeness that has been directed toward me by men since I've started showing.

Hey everyone asking him why he accepted: Maybe his friends bought him a strip dance from her and he was too shy or didn't want to be a dick and tell her no. Everyones assuming he bought one for himself and freaking out, damn...

midnightxloner 1

Why would you sit through that?!?

OP was probably too shocked to do anything. I mean if that baby was kicking too, I would have cried.

Because once she was on him, he couldn't stand?

If I recall correctly, they ask you if you want a lapdance first or you ask them. It's not like they just hop on anyone sitting down. OP, YDI. If you didn't want the dance, you should've said so.

luckyd880 12

No no. He asked her for one while she was Turned away from him. Then she turned around, bulging belly and all, and jumped on before he realized. Then it was too late. She had him pinned.

andrealovvve 17

Maybe he felt bad so he just sat there ?

22cute 17

Maybe he just wanted to post an FML

the_enigma1019 1

Well, some people are into that kind of thing......

CockAsian 14

Yea, people who are messed up in the head. Or they have to be really freaking horny.

CaramelMacchiato 13

Or Pedobear bringing his tastes to a new level :)

Llamacod 11

dumbass, first if all it is "they're" and secondly pedophiles like children not pregnant ladies. pregnancy is a beautiful thing and, assuming the women is attractive in the first place, pregnant women are beautiful.

132 - I think what 68 means is that there is technically a child inside her so pedobear found it attractive

Well apparantly pregnant women get really horny.. So mebe some ppl find that attractive:/

132 - You really shouldn't be commenting on people's grammar when yours is all over the place.

1crabbygirl 10

144- trust me, not all pregnant women are horny. When you're pregnant you're moody, sad, sore, exhausted, uncomfortable, nauseous and perpetually hungry. Not to mention when you're in the act and the baby kicks. Biggest. Turn-off. Ever. But I'm not saying all pregnant women are like that. Some really are super horny. And all pregnant women are beautiful and sexy in their own right, even if they don't feel like they are.

7 - coming from the guy named cockasian

cameronman9 2

Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?

luckyd880 12

Sighhhh gotta love role playing. Next on the list--Sexy school teacher that ate one of her students.

JayChuckles 4
maytheforce_ 0

Burn baby burn, disco inferno

Nah in Florida it's considered a bonus.

Lap dances from 2 people for the price of 1! even though one of them is just a fetus...

wlddog 14

Next time go to the nice gentlemens club. You know, the one were all the women are NOT pregnant.

Some people find pregnant women sexy as hell. Just sayin'.

wlddog 14

Some do,,,, but not very many. I have three kids. Each time I looked forward to my wife getting her figure back. If when your preg is when you look your best, you have a long life ahead of you.

And your kids will have a life with a shallow douche like you.I'm sad you procreated. Don't teach them your bullshit. Furthermore, if your wife's looks are more important than her as human being, get a life. I've seen stick with their partners after being burnt or maimed. Clearly you wouldn't....

rcgirl2 11

Well if you didn't want to get a lap dance by her, why did you sit through it?

ThatLooksSticky 16

2-for-1 special! You usually have to pay more for that.

CaramelMacchiato 13

More like a 2-in-1 special! *shudders*