Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, my wife and I were out with another couple we're friends with. When we went back to their house, we looked at old pictures. They showed us a great picture, and I said, "It would've been a lot better if that fat chick didn't ruin it in the background." It was the woman from the couple. FML
Today, I was down at Disney World. Me and my buddy decided to take our pictures in a photobooth. While in the tiny space, I thought it'd be funny to flash the camera. A women barged in as soon as I did so, screaming "You know there's an outside video feed, right!?" FML
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
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Comments (276)
CheeseGirl 0
I think you should pay attention to who's sitting next to you...
hellokittywhore 0
I think shrek can surf btw. but yeah smooth move dumbass
ilovefatcats 12
jerk why would someone say that?
ZleveL 0
cuz it's hilarious!
redsox4021 0
she deserves it 4 being ugly and not staying in the kitchen
Sammiches 12
Well, don't be a bitch to begin with next time. And no doubt Shrek can surf.
honne_tatemae 9
You should watch Tormented OP, will teach you not to be such a douche.
dossome 1
I hope you're eaten by and ostrich you ass.
528Alice491 3
Perfect! Because you clearly are the ass!! What a rude thing to say, you deserve that, and I hope no one forgets just how douchey you are.
spacewardtrout 16
what does it matter if she's next to him or at the other end of the room? if you're gonna be a dick like that then own up to it.
PinkXplosion 0
...now you ****** up.
knowitall 1
I hope you feel terrible. You sound like a positively awful person.
aoife123 0
agreed!
ripresno 10
But what if Shrek is actually a total asshole and kinda deserved it you never know
miiapaige 14
he's an absolute ******* walnut.
maxson_fml 0
agreed with #3
Trix_Disorder 20
Even if she wasn't in the room, who the **** says stuff like that? YDI.
jaren0 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
people with a sense of humor?
sulitak 27
How is being cruel to other people funny? there's so much in the world that you can make fun of. Making fun of other people can seriously impact their self esteem.
Zeegloo 0
Way to go, asshole. You totally deserved that one. Maybe you'll learn to quell your inner douchebag after it (God forbid) got the best of you. Imagine how she feels.
06SuFi 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's awesome, haha.
Up24Hrs 0
Today people were watching a photo montage of our surfing trip. Then my picture came up and this asshole next to me yelled "I didn't know Shrek could surf". FML
capgray 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ahahahaha i see wat you did there #8:) the force is strong in this one:)
meepmeep_fml 0
You are a horrifically insensitive person. I wish that girl had given you a right hook worthy of the nickname Shrek (a broken jaw might keep you from opening your ugly mouth)
CountDrunkula 0
I agree with #7