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Sunday 7 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (10314)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

#20586964
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (13504)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35711) - you deserved it (3787)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35706) - you deserved it (18656)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35527) - you deserved it (11428)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (7633)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (2438)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34936) - you deserved it (1985)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML

#20574297
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (2108)

On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (5715)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML

#20588597
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (7461)

On 04/13/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34337) - you deserved it (7501)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (3893)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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