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Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1187231) - you deserved it (126502)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (794855) - you deserved it (83350)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (724333) - you deserved it (56468)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (678509) - you deserved it (455482)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (659923) - you deserved it (57679)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (614697) - you deserved it (38175)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (607920) - you deserved it (63302)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (588042) - you deserved it (729302)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (536337) - you deserved it (87994)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (516454) - you deserved it (35255)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (510129) - you deserved it (42553)
On 02/10/2009 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by misc (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (509896) - you deserved it (39569)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (496258) - you deserved it (48384)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 27 February 2015
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