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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137670) - you deserved it (15644)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

#491409
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137473) - you deserved it (6863)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by Cindy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

#1844293
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137370) - you deserved it (8932)

On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136181) - you deserved it (10598)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135738) - you deserved it (12028)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135662) - you deserved it (8376)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133923) - you deserved it (21699)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133525) - you deserved it (9948)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133392) - you deserved it (7377)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133270) - you deserved it (6851)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132907) - you deserved it (13638)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



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