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Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135815) - you deserved it (10587)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135492) - you deserved it (12012)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

#492829
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135350) - you deserved it (8362)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134687) - you deserved it (15224)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133474) - you deserved it (10295)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133249) - you deserved it (9941)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133020) - you deserved it (7367)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132987) - you deserved it (6840)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132638) - you deserved it (7094)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131988) - you deserved it (38075)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131833) - you deserved it (20442)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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