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By Shelby - 19/06/2012 16:38 - United States - Nokomis

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 939

You deserved it 17 315

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 06:00

Today, I had to get my picture taken for a volunteer badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she'd had a horrible day at work. They showed her my picture to cheer her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 164

No, not you

By ditched - 06/08/2014 03:35 - United States - Ashland

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 060

You deserved it 3 848

By Pame - 10/05/2017 21:00 - Argentina

Today, I lost the keys to my office in the morning. I had to find an excuse for my boss to lend me his set and copy them. At night when I got home, I realized that along with the keys to the office, I also lost the keys to my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 534

You deserved it 1 458

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 05:00 - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 108

You deserved it 5 116

By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 741

You deserved it 2 430

Some girls are bigger than others

By pinkpurplegurl - 24/09/2015 14:33 - China

Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 113

You deserved it 4 045

By Wealthyparrot - 10/05/2013 08:24 - United States

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 660

You deserved it 3 541

By educatttiiioonnn - 26/09/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 888

You deserved it 26 100

Not this again

By Kurochrome - 18/07/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 296

You deserved it 3 533

By DrunkenMum - 20/07/2019 12:00

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 213

You deserved it 17 285

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 327

You deserved it 3 564

By sherrylynn - 19/04/2013 21:50 - United States - West Haven

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 863

You deserved it 3 846

Wouldn't hurt a…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 866

You deserved it 4 245

Healthy lifestyle choice

By Rowaelin16 - 23/09/2016 03:31 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 844

You deserved it 1 621

By pencilring - 04/09/2010 14:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 746

You deserved it 14 351

By screwedupkid - 03/05/2012 17:45

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 553

You deserved it 4 959

By ugly - 07/04/2009 23:34 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 97

By NaCl - 24/05/2014 21:20 - United States - Duluth

Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 749

You deserved it 4 076

By bennyp77 - 31/08/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 004

You deserved it 15 754

By madbirthdaymomma - 16/05/2014 03:15 - United States - Roswell

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 891

You deserved it 4 361

By prisym - 30/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 415

You deserved it 805

Um… you what now?

By intheairtonight - 25/04/2012 06:22 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 735

You deserved it 3 171

By fretting - 08/09/2016 17:02 - United States - Fort White

Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 114

You deserved it 1 765

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 447

You deserved it 7 174

Slay, queen!

By draggirl - 13/10/2009 17:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 602

You deserved it 4 365

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 823

You deserved it 6 786

By Hopslammer - 17/06/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 243

You deserved it 49 093

Smelly Thrones

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 20:00

Today, I hate this time of year, not only because everything is pumpkin spice, but because of Bath and Body work sales. I work in an office full of women, and when Bath and Body has a sale, it's Game Of Smell Thrones in the office. My allergies then act up, and I handle the office phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 275

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Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 901

You deserved it 2 210

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 10 347

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 241

You deserved it 49 217

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 573

You deserved it 59 024

Today, I found a hidden camera in my room equipped with night vision and a microphone. My parents have been spying on me for at least the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 478

You deserved it 3 099

Today, all my coworkers are incompetent and I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I've tried to help them to make fewer mistakes. They don't care. I've tried talking to their supervisors. They don't care either. I've been escalating matters step by step. I finally talked to the CEO about it. He doesn't care either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 153