By Hopslammer - 17/06/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 237
You deserved it 49 060
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Top comments

Monii_Harlz 11

AHAHAHAHAHA! sorry that's so funny, kids remember smoking kills and apparently makes you shit your pants - eventually

112 3
dudeitsdanny 9

My aunt ignored small coughs for 2 years.. They built up in frequency and intensity.. And she ignored those for 7 years.. When she started coughing more violently, and decided to get checked out since she watched my cousin's little girl, she discovered she had developed cancer. A cancer that covered almost her entire left lung. She was in chemotherapy for 6 months, seemed better, then died in serious pain 3 months later. Better hope your cough isn't half as serious, even if it sounds much more intense.

107 8

Comments

Darcon 8

i am sure someone is gna use the 'shitty situation' joke

8 0
dudeitsdanny 9

InB4 Shitty Jokes?

11 5
ColdplaySucks 18

You can say you're gonna quit but actually doing so isn't that easy. GL op.

5 0
gunmania0 12

Now that's what I call a shitty situation! Disclaimer: This comment is for the benefit of others, not a serious comment.

16 4
lmBrown 0

that's why weeeed is muchhh better ;)

7 15
Kawboy 1

I've coughed alot in my day and not from smoking, and never came close to ******** myself! Sounds like you could use some patches or something op. GL on quiting

2 2
jacobs_double 0

actually weed can be just as bad. one time after dinner, I coughed so much I threw up :/

3 7
ATLBOI770 0

weed is not bad itz good for u

3 19
1215116a 14

53, in what way? You're shortening your life span -.-

7 2
laurenv20 4

well that's what you get for smoking..... I know lots of people do it but it's just nasty.

10 3
Hidan_fml 0

56, how are you shortening your lifespan?

0 5
blanquito 1

cover your mouth.... or....

3 1
whiterabbit420 4

sorry to be off topic but your tattoo looks super fake. like it was done in marker or something.

2 0
TheDrifter 23

71, it doesn't matter if it's tobacco or marijuana, the smoke from either causes cancer. Or in the case of the above poster who smokes till he pukes, getting stoned can lead to a stupidity induced early ending.

4 2
bitchslapped22 14

Anyone who says weed is good for you is a ******* idiot, simple as that.

7 1
luis420 0

I wish quiting was easy :/

4 2
adrianblackett 0

smoking kill slowly... but who's in a rush to die???!?!!!!!

0 4
extrovertical 0

you honestly can't play soccer and be a smoker. :/

2 0
mygreenhoodie 0

that's a hell of a side effect, girls don't poop

2 3
ohlookitstiara 0

Pro tip: clench next time.

1 0
smoke2weeds 0

what kind of ciggs are u smokin op!!!??

59 2
whittikers 0

that's funny because his name is weed XD

5 26
hellogoodbye1996 6

how is that funny?

12 1
hellogoodbye1996 6

premature? I think she's immature..

9 3
XXizzlerXX 0

72 maybe u just didn't get the joke?

0 6
hellogoodbye1996 6

there's a joke? I thought cigarettes were nicotine not cannabis?

5 1
SteveMagnifico 6

lol I wouldnt blame cigarettes for your bowel movements

66 7
fredylove_fml 0

actually, losing control of your bowel movements is in fact an effect of smoking too many cigarettes

22 10
imnotcraZ 0

yeah, not the bowel movements. but you can blame: emphazima breathing problems, tar in your lungs. bone throat, lung, pancreatic, skin, etc- cancer on it. your Child's birth deficiencies and their mental and breathing problems. weak immune system...I can go on for a few pages. bowel movements is something I didn't hear about so idk. but everything else(even misspelled) you can blame on cigarettes... oh and I guess a temporary good feeling (idk why it's so addictive)

5 4
steveakafranxy 7

#97 why do you make it sound so easy to quir

0 0
jamescrazy96 17

My mother smokes when I was in her womb, and I am perfectly fine. Her friend smoked with her son in her womb and his sister and they are both perfectly fine. I could keep on going.. I don't believe it can affect a baby inside of a womb!!

1 5
Monii_Harlz 11

AHAHAHAHAHA! sorry that's so funny, kids remember smoking kills and apparently makes you shit your pants - eventually

112 3
1215116a 14

Smoking only brings shit in your life.

17 2
dudeitsdanny 9

My aunt ignored small coughs for 2 years.. They built up in frequency and intensity.. And she ignored those for 7 years.. When she started coughing more violently, and decided to get checked out since she watched my cousin's little girl, she discovered she had developed cancer. A cancer that covered almost her entire left lung. She was in chemotherapy for 6 months, seemed better, then died in serious pain 3 months later. Better hope your cough isn't half as serious, even if it sounds much more intense.

107 8
dudeitsdanny 9

I hardly knew her, and it was three months ago, but thank you. I just think it's a good example of how bad a cigarette addiction can be: To the point you ignore the symptoms of something bad going on.

22 2
dudeitsdanny 9

Me? Thank you? Lol

4 1
hollysterT 0

haha yes youuuuu. sorry I was just reading all these comments. and I was like. oh hey. he is cuute

4 13
Jimmyd0t 0

yeah I think you're hot too but sorry to hear about your aunt bro, may she rest in peace

0 0
atitud3 12

you post comments on every fml dude. And its not short comments :s

1 33
Hopsin_fml 0

Wierd how people like your comment saying your grandmother die. Thumbs down is the way to go in this matter, sorry for your loss!

4 11
steveakafranxy 7

#104 on FML, thumbs up doesn't mean like, it's more like "way to go man, your comment doesn't make you look like an asshole" or "this actually makes an ounce of sense"

0 0
mintcar 9

Ew WTF? You might wanna get that checked out. At least you've decided to quit smoking so good for you.

16 4
angiedancesalott 8

and i thought smoking caused lung cancer.. not shit in my pants syndrome.

24 4
LolMoqz 10

I like to call that SHIMPS.

4 0
kittycatman2 3

Price check on BUTT PLUGS! I repeat, price check on BUTT PLUGS!

25 4