Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I was at my friend's birthday party, dancing barefoot because my feet hurt from my shoes' heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML
Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, I got annoyed with my mum stopping in her tracks each time she needed to reply to a text message. I tried to show her that you can walk and text at the same time. I ended up falling into a drain. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
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Top comments
ajh1800 25
Assuming "pissed" means "drunk" in Britain...
RichardPencil 32
It does, and they say “holiday” where we say “vacation.” Although I’d be pretty pissed (angry) if I got stuck in a children’s disco!
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Comments (16)
Ahmed Gottyaturnin Ayoub 2
Lol so true
ajh1800 25
Assuming "pissed" means "drunk" in Britain...
mackdeezy 22
Yes, "pissed" means drunk in Britain, which, following the context, makes sense
RichardPencil 32
It does, and they say “holiday” where we say “vacation.” Although I’d be pretty pissed (angry) if I got stuck in a children’s disco!
Sinshine 28
Do they drink piss instead of alcohol there? Such a weird country.
mekiswrite 21
Well, they do drink their beer room temperature.
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's half of my family you're talking about. Apologize to my British DNA.
core01 30
Angry mom swinging at, and stumbling over little kids disco dancing is way funnier.
Blue_belle 7
How the **** did this get on here. This is my story word for word taken from a private chat. Drunkenmum you are NOT cool.
merican_redneck4 11
According to the comedian fluffy pissed means drunk on Australia
Jonkbaby 23
im just imagining a bunch of little kids running around in a place that plays 70s disco