By Fartfail - Hong Kong - Corozal
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
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  Pelreskovich  |  11

47 - from OP's perspective. If it were a man dressed as a woman OP could think it was actually a woman, hence the "she" reference. Either way I was just joking around.

  Feklfekl2222  |  32

What I mean is, how did he know which was the first, he could of come in at the second one and assumed it was the first. There is no way for him to have accurately found out which was first

By  notsorandomguy  |  18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  Cad6  |  24

Guys, at least A_Teen used a pathetically overused meme in the right context. The other guy used a pathetically overused meme in the wrong context. They both lost, but A_Teen didn't lose as badly.

  aisthecoolest  |  8

Wouldn't the vacuum suck up the smell to???

  Grimmerie  |  31

Sometimes, I like to strip naked and cover myself in Vaseline. I slither on my belly into my neighbours' yard. After leaving long slime trails all over, I commune with the neighbourhood slugs. I feel like myself when I pretend to be a slug. It's magical.

  ryanmoneybags  |  4

Have you seen the human centepede? Imagine how smelly the poop coming out of the final person was. She was eating digested feces that was pooped out again. Probably didn't taste too good.