By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Bekll 31

She could hear it over the vacuuming?

268 1
crablegs 2

didn't just Fart your Ass? where else would you Fart from?

155 8

Comments

Pelreskovich 11

10 - maybe his hot neighbor is actually a man dressed as a woman!?

14 44
runnamuk 6

45- uh maybe, but the genders of both the OP and the neighbor are clearly marked.

29 2
Pelreskovich 11

47 - from OP's perspective. If it were a man dressed as a woman OP could think it was actually a woman, hence the "she" reference. Either way I was just joking around.

8 23
_Oblivion_ 12

"Super hot" wouldnt be refering to a guy in a chick's clothes

26 3
_Oblivion_ 12

And btw vacuums are generally loud, no? The noise should have drowned out the farting.

41 1
Feklfekl2222 32

What I mean is, how did he know which was the first, he could of come in at the second one and assumed it was the first. There is no way for him to have accurately found out which was first

11 25
cooIbeans 0

lol I like how nobody pointed out that OP's super hot neighbor was just casually standing in his doorway.

47 2
RaquelW 7

72 - then I have been watching the wrong ****...

13 0
xlLuCkYChArMIx 0

Wow, this conversation is sad. Ever heard the term "let it go"? Don't knock it til ya try it. *double and triple checks spelling*

4 2
notsorandomguy 18

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
THE_A_TEEN 27

*Facepalm Learn to stop putting down that meme as a good comment. It makes my brain cringe.

13 33
llamafish 25

Because saying facepalm is soooo much better.

59 10
THE_A_TEEN 27

At least it's better than putting "..Had sex" when it's overused to shit and is put in a situation where sex isn't mentioned.

14 24
CryMoreFMLs 14

Woo Woo, all aboard the fail train. Tickets are 90% off in the next few minutes.

42 1
Cad6 24

Guys, at least A_Teen used a pathetically overused meme in the right context. The other guy used a pathetically overused meme in the wrong context. They both lost, but A_Teen didn't lose as badly.

15 4
TheTrollrCoaster 2

74, facepalm is used just as frequently as 'had sex'

0 3
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Yeah! Girls find it attractive when methane comes out yo ass.

44 0
ryanmoneybags 4

No they don't... Why would girls find that attractive, farts only smell good when they are your own, not someone else's. I hate when people fart near me.

1 24
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

33 -_- It was a joke. "Farts in your face and runs."

17 0
StopDropNRoll 11

Farts smell good?

3 9
Pinkfl0yd 9

I gave that bitch gas. Bitches love gas.

37 4
Cad6 24

^Your comment reminded me of a stupid Bey blade commercial.

13 0
RedPillSucks 31

Ask her if she's got a lighter

3 0
tygerarmy 35

She's into it if she didn't leave after the first one. Love at first gas.

3 0
crablegs 2

didn't just Fart your Ass? where else would you Fart from?

155 8
TheMathMajor 26

Why did you have to capitalize fart and ass?

69 1
Cad6 24

I can fart my leg. It makes a weird squelching sound like a dying moose.

41 0
crablegs 2

My smartphone did it automatically, it seems to think there are unfortunate souls out there named Fart and Ass.

56 0
craZgal321 6

oh sorry i didnt mean to comment that twice

4 6
PRpandaz 6

Well girls can queef.

0 3
MrBrightside21 20

163- No way?!?!?

0 3
Bekll 31

She could hear it over the vacuuming?

268 1
runnamuk 6

and she just stood there watching him while he vacuumed? That's kinda creepy.

75 0
kooochris1995 14

And if its a new neighbor, why would she just be inside at the door?

45 0
Scruffy618 0

26: You have to remember the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal. A girl is allowed to be crazy (or in this case creepy) as long as she is equally hot.

54 0
sillycart 9

Yeah.... Was gonna say the same thing

6 1
aisthecoolest 8

Wouldn't the vacuum suck up the smell to???

18 5
ryanmoneybags 4

Sometimes, I pull open my but cheeks and let air into my anus. After the air has marinated for a while, I break wind and enjoy the smell of my hindquarter fumes.

10 32
THE_A_TEEN 27

*Puke *Rereads comment again *Pukes again

2 6
dellis96 0

Your disgusting and awesome at the same time.

4 6
Grimmerie 31

Sometimes, I like to strip naked and cover myself in Vaseline. I slither on my belly into my neighbours' yard. After leaving long slime trails all over, I commune with the neighbourhood slugs. I feel like myself when I pretend to be a slug. It's magical.

22 1
runnamuk 6

Oh, um... awkward. Why would you tell us this?

3 5
lukep135 6

This comment doesnt deserve the dislikes at all

1 4
Pandacupcakelove 26

Ugh! Why do i have to read the burried comments? DX

0 0
Snafuusmc 12

I could see this happening in a comedy. Funny stuff.

24 0
Enslaved 36

How loud are your farts that she can hear them over the noise of your vacuum? Or better yet, how smelly? :P

60 0
ryanmoneybags 4

Have you seen the human centepede? Imagine how smelly the poop coming out of the final person was. She was eating digested feces that was pooped out again. Probably didn't taste too good.

1 8
THExistentialist 13

Oh god. don't bring that movie up. besides I thought you were too old for those movies grandpa? wtf?

1 2
Enslaved 36

No, I have not. And after your little description, I am now counting my lucky stars I didn't! Blah!

5 0
DontModMeDammit 10

Heard the second one has 12 unlucky people.. Lol

2 0
dylanmurre 4

The second one is sooooo gross. I couldn't even Finnish watching it.....

2 0
Hypertudism 15

She seems blunt. Since she didn't throw up or run away, she must be pretty rudely accepting of your gas. You should ask her out.

48 0