By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 794
You deserved it 6 773

Same thing different taste

Top comments

She could hear it over the vacuuming?

didn't just Fart your Ass? where else would you Fart from?


10 - maybe his hot neighbor is actually a man dressed as a woman!?

45- uh maybe, but the genders of both the OP and the neighbor are clearly marked.

47 - from OP's perspective. If it were a man dressed as a woman OP could think it was actually a woman, hence the "she" reference. Either way I was just joking around.

"Super hot" wouldnt be refering to a guy in a chick's clothes

And btw vacuums are generally loud, no? The noise should have drowned out the farting.

What I mean is, how did he know which was the first, he could of come in at the second one and assumed it was the first. There is no way for him to have accurately found out which was first

cooIbeans 0

lol I like how nobody pointed out that OP's super hot neighbor was just casually standing in his doorway.

RaquelW 7

72 - then I have been watching the wrong ****...

Wow, this conversation is sad. Ever heard the term "let it go"? Don't knock it til ya try it. *double and triple checks spelling*

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

*Facepalm Learn to stop putting down that meme as a good comment. It makes my brain cringe.

Because saying facepalm is soooo much better.

At least it's better than putting "..Had sex" when it's overused to shit and is put in a situation where sex isn't mentioned.

Woo Woo, all aboard the fail train. Tickets are 90% off in the next few minutes.

Guys, at least A_Teen used a pathetically overused meme in the right context. The other guy used a pathetically overused meme in the wrong context. They both lost, but A_Teen didn't lose as badly.

74, facepalm is used just as frequently as 'had sex'

Yeah! Girls find it attractive when methane comes out yo ass.

ryanmoneybags 4

No they don't... Why would girls find that attractive, farts only smell good when they are your own, not someone else's. I hate when people fart near me.

33 -_- It was a joke. "Farts in your face and runs."

StopDropNRoll 11

I gave that bitch gas. Bitches love gas.

^Your comment reminded me of a stupid Bey blade commercial.

RedPillSucks 31

Ask her if she's got a lighter

She's into it if she didn't leave after the first one. Love at first gas.

didn't just Fart your Ass? where else would you Fart from?

Why did you have to capitalize fart and ass?

I can fart my leg. It makes a weird squelching sound like a dying moose.

My smartphone did it automatically, it seems to think there are unfortunate souls out there named Fart and Ass.

oh sorry i didnt mean to comment that twice

PRpandaz 6
MrBrightside21 20

She could hear it over the vacuuming?

and she just stood there watching him while he vacuumed? That's kinda creepy.

And if its a new neighbor, why would she just be inside at the door?

26: You have to remember the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal. A girl is allowed to be crazy (or in this case creepy) as long as she is equally hot.

sillycart 9

Yeah.... Was gonna say the same thing

aisthecoolest 8

Wouldn't the vacuum suck up the smell to???

ryanmoneybags 4

Sometimes, I pull open my but cheeks and let air into my anus. After the air has marinated for a while, I break wind and enjoy the smell of my hindquarter fumes.

*Puke *Rereads comment again *Pukes again

Your disgusting and awesome at the same time.

Sometimes, I like to strip naked and cover myself in Vaseline. I slither on my belly into my neighbours' yard. After leaving long slime trails all over, I commune with the neighbourhood slugs. I feel like myself when I pretend to be a slug. It's magical.

Oh, um... awkward. Why would you tell us this?

lukep135 6

This comment doesnt deserve the dislikes at all

Ugh! Why do i have to read the burried comments? DX

Snafuusmc 12

I could see this happening in a comedy. Funny stuff.

How loud are your farts that she can hear them over the noise of your vacuum? Or better yet, how smelly? :P

ryanmoneybags 4

Have you seen the human centepede? Imagine how smelly the poop coming out of the final person was. She was eating digested feces that was pooped out again. Probably didn't taste too good.

Oh god. don't bring that movie up. besides I thought you were too old for those movies grandpa? wtf?

No, I have not. And after your little description, I am now counting my lucky stars I didn't! Blah!

DontModMeDammit 10

Heard the second one has 12 unlucky people.. Lol

The second one is sooooo gross. I couldn't even Finnish watching it.....

She seems blunt. Since she didn't throw up or run away, she must be pretty rudely accepting of your gas. You should ask her out.