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By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I noticed my 5-gallon glass vase/aquarium was leaking at the base. When I went to move the vase so I could transfer everything to a new aquarium, the bottom completely detached, sending water, sand, sea shells and fish crap everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 222

You deserved it 5 593

By Prego my ego - 23/07/2009 17:39 - France

Today, I had my first date with this guy I really like, who came to pick me up. Once I got into his car, my uncle comes out of the house and yells "Remember, pregnant girls aren't allowed to drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 103

You deserved it 7 874

A cashier's life

By amy - 16/10/2013 21:52 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 854

You deserved it 3 990

You're in the army now

By Crud - 06/02/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six months dumped me over the phone. I'm in the military and recently had to move away to another fort. We'd agreed that we would try to make long distance work. I'd even offered to buy a plane ticket to come see her each weekend. I've been gone less than two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 336

You deserved it 2 941

Merry little Christmas

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was uninvited to the family Christmas party. Apparently, everyone is tired of me "refusing to watch or discipline my own kids". Sure, one of them is autistic and has violent meltdowns, but I thought it took a village to raise a child? FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 074

By collegegrad - 15/10/2013 15:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 757

You deserved it 5 613

By Holly - 05/02/2010 07:33 - United States

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 785

You deserved it 35 303

By nottananny - 21/07/2009 08:49 - United States

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 759

You deserved it 3 536

That autumn smell

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 02:00

Today, my cat vomited down my heater vent. It went very far down. I'm not even sure if I got all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 142

By Grevling - 20/07/2009 19:07 - Norway

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his new 19 year old girlfriend he met a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 414

You deserved it 6 204

Copycat

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 14:00 - Canada - Enderby

Today, my father-in-law announced the name of his new son, my husband's half-brother. The first name and last name is the same as our son, who I gave birth to 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 101

By Darth Binks - 01/02/2015 18:48 - Canada

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 443

You deserved it 3 880

By broke_broken - 11/10/2013 22:53 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 312

You deserved it 3 903

Sorry seems to be the harshest word

By Anonymous - 23/10/2021 17:00 - United States - Boone

Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 177

By happyturtle - 10/10/2013 11:27 - Croatia

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 422

You deserved it 3 337

You laugh, you lose

By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - 03/11/2012 00:23 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 524

You deserved it 4 163

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 02:50 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 153

You deserved it 2 249

By birdguts - 31/01/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 013

You deserved it 5 268

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 221

You deserved it 45 799

Shake, rattle, and roll

By goddamn idiots - 29/10/2021 17:01 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I’m sitting in the ER pissed off at my teenage sons. They’re both violently ill from doing a shot contest to see who could drink the most. Alcohol poisoning? Nope. Caffeine overdose. They lost track of how many shots of espresso they were doing before they started puking and shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 169

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 102

You deserved it 7 050

By Elizabeth - 11/12/2008 05:13 - France

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 2 518

By okaythen - 04/10/2013 09:37 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 313

You deserved it 3 718

By toobad - 29/11/2011 19:29 - Canada

Today, it's cold and rainy. I would like nothing more than to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie with the woman I love; the same woman who cheated on me and took the TV with her when she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 416

You deserved it 4 032

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 556

You deserved it 6 382

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 11:46 - Denmark

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 415

You deserved it 3 601

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 122

You deserved it 44 637

By Anonymous - 16/01/2015 18:51 - Norway - Bergen

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 416

You deserved it 3 077

By Anonymous - 15/01/2015 11:35 - Australia

Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 055

You deserved it 3 836

Just good friends

By JennyPenny - 23/11/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years never posts me on his Facebook, yet his girl “bestie” is always on his tags, comments, etc. He recently went to a party and put a picture of them two as his profile picture. He’s confused as to why I’m upset, and thinks I’m “overreacting.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 207

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The Top

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 2 006

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons, and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song that he'd written himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life… if I knew who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 708

You deserved it 3 968

Random

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 251

You deserved it 16 940

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 020

You deserved it 2 772

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 865

You deserved it 31 470

Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 216

Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. One day, I accidentally walked in on my sister-in-law changing. For some reason I’ll never understand, we ended up having a quickie doggystyle and swore to not talk about it ever again. She’s now 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a dead man if my wife finds out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 1 698

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 156