Money: Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix...

By broke_broken - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

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Money

Late term

Gratitude walks

Deadbeat

By Alone - United States - Washington

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

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By effingdoucher - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

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By Disconnected

Today, I found out that it is possible for someone else to cancel my Internet, TV and phone services in two days. However it'll take me 5 days, after 6 hours on the phone, to get it back. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

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By :) - Greece

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

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By me - United States

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I had to use anti-perspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML

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By jobless - United States - Buffalo

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

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By michelle - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Boya

Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML

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By Anyonexx0 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

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By JessicaandGhazi - 26/5/2020 20:00

Expanding universe

Today, I told my BFF that I went to the store to buy medium shirts because I had gained some weight during coronavirus. He asked me, "What's the point in doing that when you're getting so fat, those wont even fit in 2 weeks?" FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 09:05 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Can't get no…

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Washington

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

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By got got - 30/1/2020 14:00

Great help

Today, I just moved in with my friend and had my brother help with the move. Later that night both my brother and my friend wouldn't let me sleep because of how loud the sex was. FML

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By sk8rgurl - United States

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

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By lizzie1833 - United States

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

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By stdpositivenow - United States

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

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By Rajin - Canada

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

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By notakeeper - United States - Orlando

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

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By yummy(: - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

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By Anonymous - Brazil

Today, my long-distance boyfriend was at my house for a 10-day visit. He told me that we'd never spent so much time together, so he didn't know me well and now, he'd finally met the "real me". He doesn't like it. FML

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By -- - Canada

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

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By jseid2 - United States - San Leandro

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

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By crazytortise - United States

Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML

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By Kelly - United States

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

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By "schober60" - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I frantically finished a paper that I needed to complete before midnight about the competencies of my pharmacy school. When it came time to submit, I accidentally selected the file below my paper, which was my personal log of beer reviews and personal favorites. FML

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By Ob3nie - United States - San Francisco

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

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By sarad206 - United States

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

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By Ulysse - United Kingdom

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Omaha

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

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By applegreen - Ireland - Limerick

Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML

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By ihatekids

Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML

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By Ketchup - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

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By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

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By Tired - United States

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

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Top comments

By nnnope | 26

#5712915 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:19

that sucks :( at least your grandma was nice enough to help you out!

props to you for being responsible enough to pay her back, too.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5712920 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

And I'm sure your grandma will be more than happy to help you out again. Debts suck dude but at least you showed that you could pay it back

COMMENTS

By nnnope | 26

#5712915 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:19

that sucks :( at least your grandma was nice enough to help you out!

props to you for being responsible enough to pay her back, too.

Harshdfml | 14

#5712948 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:26

That's one rare grandma. My grandma would cuss me out if I asked for money.!

Ambient25 | 24

#5712951 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:28

Probably because you asked too often

Harshdfml | 14

#5712960 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:31

Haven't ever actually.. Just a presumption.

DocBastard | 38

#5712972 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:35

I think she'd curse at you for not putting on a damned shirt.

caohm | 18

#5712998 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:57

#16 but doc how will all the ladies know how ripped and cool he is???

TheCanucklehead | 22

#5713061 - Saturday 12 October 2013 6:59

#24 Sssshhhhh. Sshhh. Ssshhh. Let's not judge Doc. He seems to be a professional. I'd take his advice..

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5713115 - Saturday 12 October 2013 8:44

yeah not like me, i owe my dad like 40k

\ | 28

#5713135 - Saturday 12 October 2013 9:29

It could very well be a blown head gasket...

SarMarJo | 17

#5713152 - Saturday 12 October 2013 10:24

Probably not.

mikepzz | 27

#5713269 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:46

39, you've never seen a head gasket go before have you?

nnnope | 26

#5713280 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:14

49 - judging from his profile, I'd guess he hasn't seen a lot of things that happen in reality.

\ | 28

#5713733 - Saturday 12 October 2013 22:49

#50 - coming from a girl with a profile picture of a cat.

ChevyRedneck85 | 13

#5715538 - Monday 14 October 2013 5:36

60- does an alternator put out an ac current and convert it to dc? Or put out dc and convert it to ac?

By Ambient25 | 24

#5712920 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

And I'm sure your grandma will be more than happy to help you out again. Debts suck dude but at least you showed that you could pay it back

caohm | 18

#5712997 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:56

it wasn't your fault so he should understand and hopefully be willing to help

caohm | 18

#5713010 - Saturday 12 October 2013 6:08

yes

By PauloM_fml | 9

#5712921 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

I'm sure she feel great for being able to help you :)

By hiitisbrooke | 26

#5712923 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

Aw I hope your grandma understands and doesn't care if you wait a bit longer to get more money to pay her back

By Spyfiction | 6

#5712924 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

It could be worse!

mario2012 | 18

#5712977 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:37

Um...how?

Ambient25 | 24

#5712980 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:39

she could have went all Street Fighter on his car I guess...

tj4234 | 35

#5713139 - Saturday 12 October 2013 9:43

She's right, it could be worse. I had a similar issue but i never noticed the leak, and i blew the engine. (Thermostat also didn't work, so i couldn't see that the car had overheated).