Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix...

By broke_broken - 11/10/2013 22:53 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

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Money

Rock, hard place

Instadrama

Compassion

By ilovemymomma - 26/5/2012 07:15 - United States - Hereford

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

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By FuckedOver - 14/1/2016 14:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/2/2013 08:35

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

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By Username - 13/2/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2015 23:22 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, while walking to my flat, I spotted something white hanging over the handle bar of my parked bike. It was a very used diaper. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

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By ElodieUNU - 12/7/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

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By Anonymous - 20/4/2009 08:52 - Australia

Today, I called my mom from Australia. I have been abroad for two months and hadn't talked to her in a long time. A few minutes into the conversation my moms stops me and says this call must cost a fortune and hangs up on me. A few bucks in more important to her then me. FML

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By joanikens - 26/3/2016 19:02 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

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By fatty punani - 5/6/2020 08:00

Sexy is in the eye of the beholder

Today, my husband thinks I stopped wearing underwear to be sexy. Truth is, I’ve gained so much weight during quarantine that even my granny panties no longer fit. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/7/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

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By kaitlin - 19/2/2010 06:30 - Australia

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

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By supergirl7 - 27/7/2011 22:21 - United States

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

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By FuckYouMotherNature - 7/8/2013 06:51 - United States - Merced

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

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By bandeek - 23/10/2016 18:52

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2010 21:41 - United States

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

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By worker666 - 13/4/2014 14:51 - United States

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

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By snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

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By Frauded - 17/12/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2011 23:02 - Canada

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

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By Antoine Karam - 27/6/2019 04:30

Today, I was invited to an engagement. My crush is getting engaged next month to a man she told me she hated. FML

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By Tired - 17/8/2016 17:51

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for doing what she wanted me to do. I guess she didn't think I would do it and did it herself. FML

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By Noname - 16/3/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/5/2012 10:21 - Sweden - Norsborg

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

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By Stupidhuman - 13/4/2017 13:02 - United States - Sparta

Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

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By gingerninja - 2/11/2010 17:43 - United Kingdom

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

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By janegeorge - 12/1/2015 00:39 - Canada - Kanata

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

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By Anonymous - 17/7/2013 14:55 - United States

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

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By human torch - 18/3/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

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By asthmasucks - 19/9/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

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By sorrydad - 13/12/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the S and M catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/7/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML

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By anonymous - 1/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/2/2011 03:23

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

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By gordogs 25 - 4/4/2012 10:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

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By chronic - 12/3/2017 02:00

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

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Top comments

By nnnope | 26

#5712915 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:19

that sucks :( at least your grandma was nice enough to help you out!

props to you for being responsible enough to pay her back, too.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5712920 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

And I'm sure your grandma will be more than happy to help you out again. Debts suck dude but at least you showed that you could pay it back

Comments

By nnnope | 26

#5712915 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:19

that sucks :( at least your grandma was nice enough to help you out!

props to you for being responsible enough to pay her back, too.

Harshdfml | 14

#5712948 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:26

That's one rare grandma. My grandma would cuss me out if I asked for money.!

Ambient25 | 24

#5712951 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:28

Probably because you asked too often

Harshdfml | 14

#5712960 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:31

Haven't ever actually.. Just a presumption.

DocBastard | 38

#5712972 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:35

I think she'd curse at you for not putting on a damned shirt.

caohm | 18

#5712998 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:57

#16 but doc how will all the ladies know how ripped and cool he is???

TheCanucklehead | 22

#5713061 - Saturday 12 October 2013 6:59

#24 Sssshhhhh. Sshhh. Ssshhh. Let's not judge Doc. He seems to be a professional. I'd take his advice..

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5713115 - Saturday 12 October 2013 8:44

yeah not like me, i owe my dad like 40k

\ | 28

#5713135 - Saturday 12 October 2013 9:29

It could very well be a blown head gasket...

SarMarJo | 17

#5713152 - Saturday 12 October 2013 10:24

Probably not.

mikepzz | 27

#5713269 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:46

39, you've never seen a head gasket go before have you?

nnnope | 26

#5713280 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:14

49 - judging from his profile, I'd guess he hasn't seen a lot of things that happen in reality.

\ | 28

#5713733 - Saturday 12 October 2013 22:49

#50 - coming from a girl with a profile picture of a cat.

ChevyRedneck85 | 13

#5715538 - Monday 14 October 2013 5:36

60- does an alternator put out an ac current and convert it to dc? Or put out dc and convert it to ac?

By Ambient25 | 24

#5712920 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

And I'm sure your grandma will be more than happy to help you out again. Debts suck dude but at least you showed that you could pay it back

caohm | 18

#5712997 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:56

it wasn't your fault so he should understand and hopefully be willing to help

caohm | 18

#5713010 - Saturday 12 October 2013 6:08

yes

By PauloM_fml | 9

#5712921 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

I'm sure she feel great for being able to help you :)

By hiitisbrooke | 26

#5712923 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

Aw I hope your grandma understands and doesn't care if you wait a bit longer to get more money to pay her back

By Spyfiction | 6

#5712924 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

It could be worse!

mario2012 | 18

#5712977 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:37

Um...how?

Ambient25 | 24

#5712980 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:39

she could have went all Street Fighter on his car I guess...

tj4234 | 35

#5713139 - Saturday 12 October 2013 9:43

She's right, it could be worse. I had a similar issue but i never noticed the leak, and i blew the engine. (Thermostat also didn't work, so i couldn't see that the car had overheated).