Money: Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix...

By broke_broken - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

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Money

BO Central

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Toxic people

By Crazy Crazy Crazy - Canada - Burlington

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

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By 34_22_34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

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By DrumrollPlease - United Kingdom - Banbury

Today, my phone autocorrected "with chills" to "with child" in the middle of a message, and I didn't notice until I was contacted several hours later by a panicking friend. My gastric flu is now rumoured to have been morning sickness, all because I can't proofread. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Janesville

Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Wedding of the year

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

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By emilyparra1 - United States - Riverview

Today, I had a job interview for a job I've been dying to have. As I'm walking into the office, the manager says, "Aren't you my son's ex, the one he cheated on?" All I could do was sit there quietly as he laughed at me. FML

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By rmonk - United States - Naperville

Today, I went to my required district science fair with my project about gliders and was a bit unprepared in terms of personal knowledge on the science behind gliders. I was hoping I would get a judge who didn't know a lot about aerodynamics. One of my judges was a glider pilot. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

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By IHateGroupProjects - United States - Riverdale

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

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By realnotimaginary

Today, my boss gave me a lecture accompanied with a formal warning because I failed to take notes during a client meeting. I was never at this client meeting, in fact, I had a call with another client at the same time. Regardless, he insists I was there and refuses to listen to reason. FML

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By fionna_fiamma - Slovenia - Maribor

Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML

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By anonymous - Canada

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

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By Eimii - United States

Today, my 70 year old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

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By belljars - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

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By ugamayne - United States

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

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By sucker - United States - Milton

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

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By cloudberry - United States - Astoria

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

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By Amanda Howard

When you gotta go, you gotta go

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

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By Anonymous

Framed

Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML

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By Unluggee - United Kingdom

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

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By notsosmart - Australia

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

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By RaceCar - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

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By I love my furry babies

Today, I got a hamster against my wife's will. I can't wait until she wakes up and I have to tell her it's loose in the house. FML

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By Pseudo - France - Vitry-le-fran?ois

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

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By kubbyp - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

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By Emmz91

Brain fart

Today, I couldn't open my car door from the inside. I rang my father-in-law in a panic and he opened it from the outside for me. Then he asked why I just didn't roll down the window and do it myself. FML

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By cunting cunts - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

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By ColoredPencil13 - United States - Baytown

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

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By upsetandunjustified - United States

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

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By jojolovesyou134

Today, as I have been the past week, I've was sent to fix my coworker's fuck-ups in his new area, and help him out as I know it. I then needed help in his old area, and got told to suck it up and figure it out. I've been doing this a year, he's been doing it for 5 years FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Whoops

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

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By jshibbz0993 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I'm in my mid-twenties and just learned that I still start crying in confusing situations. I found this out by getting the wrong train in a foreign country, and then having the conductor come and tell me my ticket was only valid for the other direction. FML

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Top comments

By nnnope | 26

#5712915 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:19

that sucks :( at least your grandma was nice enough to help you out!

props to you for being responsible enough to pay her back, too.

By Ambient25 | 24

#5712920 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

And I'm sure your grandma will be more than happy to help you out again. Debts suck dude but at least you showed that you could pay it back

COMMENTS

By nnnope | 26

#5712915 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:19

that sucks :( at least your grandma was nice enough to help you out!

props to you for being responsible enough to pay her back, too.

Harshdfml | 14

#5712948 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:26

That's one rare grandma. My grandma would cuss me out if I asked for money.!

Ambient25 | 24

#5712951 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:28

Probably because you asked too often

Harshdfml | 14

#5712960 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:31

Haven't ever actually.. Just a presumption.

DocBastard | 38

#5712972 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:35

I think she'd curse at you for not putting on a damned shirt.

caohm | 18

#5712998 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:57

#16 but doc how will all the ladies know how ripped and cool he is???

TheCanucklehead | 22

#5713061 - Saturday 12 October 2013 6:59

#24 Sssshhhhh. Sshhh. Ssshhh. Let's not judge Doc. He seems to be a professional. I'd take his advice..

dingleberrysteve | 6

#5713115 - Saturday 12 October 2013 8:44

yeah not like me, i owe my dad like 40k

\ | 28

#5713135 - Saturday 12 October 2013 9:29

It could very well be a blown head gasket...

SarMarJo | 17

#5713152 - Saturday 12 October 2013 10:24

Probably not.

mikepzz | 27

#5713269 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:46

39, you've never seen a head gasket go before have you?

nnnope | 26

#5713280 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:14

49 - judging from his profile, I'd guess he hasn't seen a lot of things that happen in reality.

\ | 28

#5713733 - Saturday 12 October 2013 22:49

#50 - coming from a girl with a profile picture of a cat.

ChevyRedneck85 | 13

#5715538 - Monday 14 October 2013 5:36

60- does an alternator put out an ac current and convert it to dc? Or put out dc and convert it to ac?

By Ambient25 | 24

#5712920 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

And I'm sure your grandma will be more than happy to help you out again. Debts suck dude but at least you showed that you could pay it back

caohm | 18

#5712997 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:56

it wasn't your fault so he should understand and hopefully be willing to help

caohm | 18

#5713010 - Saturday 12 October 2013 6:08

yes

By PauloM_fml | 9

#5712921 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

I'm sure she feel great for being able to help you :)

By hiitisbrooke | 26

#5712923 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

Aw I hope your grandma understands and doesn't care if you wait a bit longer to get more money to pay her back

By Spyfiction | 6

#5712924 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:20

It could be worse!

mario2012 | 18

#5712977 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:37

Um...how?

Ambient25 | 24

#5712980 - Saturday 12 October 2013 5:39

she could have went all Street Fighter on his car I guess...

tj4234 | 35

#5713139 - Saturday 12 October 2013 9:43

She's right, it could be worse. I had a similar issue but i never noticed the leak, and i blew the engine. (Thermostat also didn't work, so i couldn't see that the car had overheated).