Health: Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when...

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 215

You deserved it 45 760

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Same thing different taste

Black out

By Shoeless - 20/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 368

You deserved it 35 415

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 926

You deserved it 32 603

By ouch - 12/07/2013 07:22 - United States

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 163

You deserved it 4 761

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 196

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 20:00 - United States

Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 102

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 4 198

By HiRveryone - 05/03/2018 19:08 - United States - Centre

Today, I had to be the designated driver for my mom and aunt. While driving them home, my aunt threw up on the car floor and my mom peed her pants, leaving a puddle in the seat. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 986

You deserved it 393

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 122

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 711

Pushing the envelope

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 180

Zebidee 8

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:29

Nothing screams 'I'm drunk' like trying to act sober in front of your parents. You think they've never seen a drunk kid before?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:50

Congratulations on getting caught, idiot. There is no excuse for getting so shit-faced that uncontrolled vomiting ensues, especially in front of your mother. I hope you still live at home so your mother can ground your stupid ass.

Comments

anonnie 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:59

Haha! YDI :)

jrsgreenfire257 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 15:03

Last one

dre_bro11 12

Monday 31 January 2011 12:15

*Sees 'trying'* *hits YDI*

aardvarkish 16

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:02

Score! Way to go!

missjessicaaaa 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:02

I kinda think YDI.

raha95 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:03

don't do that

Phustercluck 11

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:03

I remember my first beer.

JCHammer 5

Sunday 30 January 2011 5:03

You threw up after your first beer? Hmm must be french

littliemissmeg 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:03

Good job. say you have the flu :)

Bikrbum 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:08

Are you sure it was you or Eric from "That 70's Show"?

PrincessRavishin 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 9:22

win

jessxoxo28 5

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:10

wow, so much for sober

MrBond007_fml 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:14

It tends to be much easier to act sober if you actually are, ydi

bobjoefredsky 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 20:16

ewwwwww wtf

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 813

You deserved it 9 769

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 847

The Top

Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 209

You deserved it 2 829

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 116

You deserved it 3 196

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 298

Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 676

You deserved it 4 301

Today, during a family meal, my mother-in-law asked me to list the foods I didn't like, which includes bananas. For some reason my husband felt it was necessary to specify: "except mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 597

You deserved it 445

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 576

You deserved it 5 604

Same thing different taste

Black out

Pushing the envelope

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