Kids, Healthy Lifestyle, Weird and Emergency: Shake, rattle, and roll

Shake, rattle, and roll

By goddamn idiots - 29/10/2021 08:01 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I’m sitting in the ER pissed off at my teenage sons. They’re both violently ill from doing a shot contest to see who could drink the most. Alcohol poisoning? Nope. Caffeine overdose. They lost track of how many shots of espresso they were doing before they started puking and shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 162

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Same thing different taste

By DaddyZ - 27/06/2010 13:30 - United States

Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 206

You deserved it 8 266

Fight Club

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:01

Today, my sons are such idiots that they had a blazing punch-up that put both of them in hospital, all because one of them stole the last cigarette from a packet. Never mind they both have their own cigarettes, but for some reason the theft of this one cigarette was the last straw that lead to a punch up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 316

Booze gone wrong

By Anonymous - 21/02/2017 09:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, had a wonderful cup of coffee, and found my son throwing up rubbing alcohol in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 742

No wings

By David - 15/08/2020 17:07

Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 2 786

It burns

By WTF - 16/03/2011 22:05

Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 531

You deserved it 12 564

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 618

You deserved it 3 008

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202

By Monkeyspank - 26/01/2017 22:00

Today, my sister decided that it would be a great idea to give my almost two-year-old son some strong black coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 827

You deserved it 659

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 480

You deserved it 5 234

Wake up

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 23:01

TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 2 483

XRP123 11

Friday 29 October 2021 17:07

What is dumber than 1 boy? 2 boys together. I learned that in many years of coaching boys hockey.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 29 October 2021 18:15

They're in a latte trouble! Your little brewed of idiots should be grounded. I'll bet you are steamed and frothing at the mouth.

Comments

XRP123 11

Friday 29 October 2021 17:07

What is dumber than 1 boy? 2 boys together. I learned that in many years of coaching boys hockey.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 29 October 2021 18:15

They're in a latte trouble! Your little brewed of idiots should be grounded. I'll bet you are steamed and frothing at the mouth.

MidnaLink 33

Friday 29 October 2021 19:48

At least it wasn't alcoohol.

Chazzster 28

Friday 29 October 2021 22:20

It could have been worse. Hopefully your sons will learn from this the dangers of a “dare” or “challenge” or peer pressure. Either that or they might not survive into adulthood without acquiring either a permanent injury or an addiction they have trouble escaping. I seriously hope they learn from this.

great_nate 26

Saturday 30 October 2021 4:29

If you think that you are pissed now, wait until the ER bill comes.

diraven 15

Sunday 31 October 2021 4:30

probably just trying to build up a tolerance for when they get office jobs

bobsanction 18

Sunday 31 October 2021 23:07

Why would they want a tolerance? Having a low tolerance is better. Get more effect for less drink.

IHaveThePower 16

Friday 31 December 2021 0:04

On the other hand, it's caffeine--they'll learn their lesson without potential fatality. So while your kids are idiots, they're at least sensible enough not to go after booze like that, and that WILL end much better in the future.