The Top

Firstly, I'm not insane or anything. I have chronic depression and very negative self-esteem. I was talking to her over facebook, so she didn't see me have a flip out. I actually have quite a few friends, but since finishing high school last year everyone is so busy working or at university that we rarely have any time to hang out. I had three friends in high school who I was especially close to and two of them pretty much shut me off. For about a year now every time I've asked them to hang out they've said no, one of the blatantly lies about being busy or tired because she just can't be bothered. The other one, the one I asked, has moved out of home and has been struggling to pay rent and bills, so she's been working lots. I'm so used to hearing them say no, that when she said yes it shocked me and I didn't know how to react - hence triggering the panic attack. Once I'd calmed down I was excited and we're going to have lunch on Monday :)

Omicron : Origin story

By IHaveThePower - 30/11/2021 17:01 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went in for a job interview. Apparently, this company feels masks are optional, vaccines are optional, and I don't ever need to visit my grandmother with dementia again. Luckily, I was able to escape before I needed to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 545

Elaine?

By Anonymous - 19/02/2023 23:00

Today, I tried to show off my dance moves at a party and ended up falling through a glass table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 929

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 06:45 - United States

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 492

You deserved it 7 166

Cheats

By Anonymous - 31/01/2026 09:00

Today, I realized what terrible people my parents are. They divorced because they were having knockdown, dragged out fights over constantly cheating on each other. Now they’re cheating on their current spouses… with each other. My stepparents deserve so much better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 67

By julichlove - 28/12/2014 00:52 - United States - Louisville

Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 803

You deserved it 40 427

By Anonymous - 17/01/2010 00:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up at 2:30 AM. Thinking I was going to be late for my 3:30 AM flight, I rushed into the bathroom to shower. As I came out of the shower, I slipped and broke my arm. I then realized my flight is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 886

You deserved it 8 876

Dreams Never End

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 10:02 - India - Vijayawada

Today, I finally convinced my mother to allow me pursue my dream job after months of begging. I logged in to the college's website to register for the course and found that the final seat had been filled in today and I need to wait one more year for admission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 354

At last! Well done!

By dumbgirl4lyf - 01/10/2012 18:24 - Ireland - Monaghan

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 891

You deserved it 4 517

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 154

You deserved it 7 243

By ...loud noises...urgh... - 02/11/2011 16:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 221

You deserved it 51 370

Dumbass

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 442

You deserved it 8 475

By This_Is_Me1982 - 03/01/2011 17:51 - Canada

Today, I found out that my friend makes more money than I do. She's a high school dropout and working at a retail job at the mall. I went to college for four years to get my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 630

You deserved it 5 214

Vote of confidence

By SMRT - 13/01/2010 06:08 - Canada

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 3 507

First dates

By Anonymous - 08/12/2021 19:59 - United Kingdom - Blackburn

Today, I went to a Christmas market with a guy. Not only did he buy himself a hot chocolate, he made me pay for his pancakes, which he threw away halfway through. He took me to a bar after ,just to get himself a nice cocktail, and free tap water for me. Nice date, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 279

By seriously - 17/12/2014 13:33 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 621

You deserved it 3 595

By anonymous - 21/06/2010 12:21 - France

Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 212

You deserved it 6 077

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 17:53 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 256

You deserved it 32 878

Bullies never grow out of it

By Daveryan - 28/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury

Today, I had a fight with my sister. Back when I was a chubby teen, I was made to wear a woman's panty girdle and hated it. She used to taunt me with slogans like, "Is your girdle killing you?", "Can you believe it's a girdle?" etc. Today she yelled, "Don't bust your girdle!" It's been years and the bitch still won't let up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 109

By konacoffee17 - 14/12/2014 05:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 710

You deserved it 3 080

On yer bike

By E-fail - 07/10/2020 13:53 - Canada - Bathurst

Today, I received my new e-bike. I could barely afford it but I desperately needed a method of transportation. On my second ride, I splashed through a fresh sidewalk. There was sidewalk in the chain, in the brakes, everywhere. There goes my brand new bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 1 390

By Soverytired - 11/12/2014 13:29 - Australia

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 148

You deserved it 3 706

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 747

You deserved it 4 356

Trust

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 14:02 - Iraq

Today, my fiancée a year left me, a week after she told me she’s still talking to her ex. Her excuse for not telling me about this? Because, “You’ll make it a big deal out of it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 232

You deserved it 146

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 523

You deserved it 1 230

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 111

You deserved it 4 034

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 027

You deserved it 30 905

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 162

You deserved it 111 401

Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 423

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 232