The Top

It is my apartment, and we broke up mutually. she moved here from 50 miles away to live here and we'd been together two years. we just recently figured out that our relationship was great... right up until she moved in. we simply can't live together. and I'm not gonna kick her out, totally rude. she gave up her life in her town to come live here, I don't expect her to be able to up and leave. she's only been here a month and doesn't know anyone close and her parents live 4 states away. it'll just be super awkward. FML

Save Me

By bad doc - 01/10/2019 04:00

Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 167

Wait til he finds out about the Wonderbra

By Fattie - 14/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was getting ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. I wear shapewear shorts to keep my FUPA and thighs under control, so when I removed those, he recoiled and said, “Fuck that shit, what happened to your body?” He promptly dumped me for “catfishing” him and told me to leave his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 684

Duh…

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 02:53 - Canada

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 101

You deserved it 4 195

By Anonymous - 27/03/2012 04:27 - United States - Panama City

Today, my best friend stopped by my house, borrowed a movie, and left. That was the extent of our communication for the day. Today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 214

You deserved it 2 525

Are you OK?

By dxplq876 - 17/03/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store when out of nowhere, a car backing up pretty fast sped down the parking lot and hit me, causing me to fall down and drop all of my groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 978

You deserved it 4 680

By sales ham - 06/03/2013 05:44 - United States

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 297

You deserved it 7 964

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 135

You deserved it 4 093

Shitshow

By Syrinth - 21/07/2010 16:09 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 571

You deserved it 31 549

By StatusSearch - 26/05/2011 23:36 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant and sat at the last available table, which had a seat available across from me. A cute girl approached and asked if she could sit down, so I said "Sure" and made some room. She then asked "You're leaving, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 386

You deserved it 3 646

StatusSearch tells us more.

StatusSearch 8

Friday 27 May 2011 11:01

I told her I'd be done in 10 minutes which I was prepared to leave at that time, to which she replied, "Could you make it 5, I'm really hungry." So 10 minutes turned into 50. I must've lost track of time >_>

By thanksmom - 20/07/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 822

You deserved it 4 112