Love, Stalker and Dentist: Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 129

Love Stalker Dentist

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Top comments

mike3775 35

Wednesday 3 August 2022 11:52

Instead of posting on FML about it, how about calling your wife to come down to security and clear it up before the police even get there?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 August 2022 12:11

Even worse, you asked your dentist for a prostate exam to avoid your father-in-law's birthday!

Comments

mike3775 35

Wednesday 3 August 2022 11:52

Instead of posting on FML about it, how about calling your wife to come down to security and clear it up before the police even get there?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 3 August 2022 12:11

Even worse, you asked your dentist for a prostate exam to avoid your father-in-law's birthday!

emmalou 18

Wednesday 3 August 2022 21:03

something doesn't add up

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The Top

Aujourd’hui, vendeuse en jardinerie, je conseille une dame et lui propose de faire un petit tour pour trouver son bonheur. Elle me répond gentiment : "Faites attention, on dirait une infirmière de film X quand vous dites ça." VDM

I agree, your life sucks 4 630

You deserved it 466

Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 388

The Top

Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 772

You deserved it 14 186

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 898

You deserved it 1 263

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 643

You deserved it 6 860

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 115

You deserved it 2 188

Today, after years of restless sleep in a noisy city, I finally moved to a very quiet place. So quiet that I realized I have tinnitus. I need to play background noise to cover it, so I can manage to get some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 99

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 488

You deserved it 3 844