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By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 04:09

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 2 470

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 932

You deserved it 3 833

Exposure

By Anonymous - 14/02/2012 05:24 - United States

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 347

You deserved it 13 933

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 408

You deserved it 2 634

By PackardBell - 28/03/2016 03:09 - United States - Vernon Hills

Today, while brushing my teeth, a fly flew into my mouth. It got caught in my electric toothbrush and was sucked into the circular bristles, getting crushed between the brush and my braces. I now have fly guts and goo stuck between my brackets, and I can't get rid of the taste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 730

You deserved it 1 952

PackardBell_fml tells us more.

PackardBell_fml 19

Monday 28 March 2016 19:26

Hi, op here. Just want to clarify: The toothbrush is one of those circular, rotating tips. The "spinbrush," I believe. Second, I eventually cleaned out the bristles and got rid of the taste... in the morning. I slept with that taste lingering and it was horrible. This is just meant to clarify some things due to the lack of character space to type.

By embarassedmuch - 30/10/2012 04:05 - United States

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 27 773

You dipstick!

By mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 060

You deserved it 40 502

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 02:52 - United States

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 780

You deserved it 2 615

By Eodowoiono - 06/08/2013 16:20 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 349

You deserved it 4 606

By Wrongdoor - 06/12/2009 14:58 - United States

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 491

You deserved it 27 978

By ishred1111 - 06/11/2015 07:39 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 661

You deserved it 2 568

ishred1111 tells us more.

ishred1111 14

Saturday 7 November 2015 4:36

Thanks for all the funny comments! They made me feel better when I'm not actually feeling that great, considering what my boyfriend turned out to be like.... Speaking of which, I totally agree with most of you. Yes, I hung up on him and no, I did not bail him out. I think his sister did in the end. His fate and what he actually did to get arrested are unknown to me, honestly I just knew we were done the second he finished the song and then said 'so, babe, can you bail me out?' Never thought he could be like this. Very disappointed in him. But still thoroughly impressed at his singing (he recited it perfectly). :) thanks guys!!

By random - 08/06/2013 04:42 - United States - El Paso

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 849

You deserved it 16 840

By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 04:30 - United States - Olney

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 260

You deserved it 5 238

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 232

You deserved it 4 091

By psuedodragon - 21/05/2013 17:20 - Canada - Regina

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 934

You deserved it 7 156

psuedodragon tells us more.

psuedodragon 23

Tuesday 21 May 2013 23:19

Funny you should mention zombie attacks... The reason I was late was because I slept through my alarm after a particularly intense, long weekend, zombie survival prep camp (basically a lot of running in between short classes on survival skills for three days). I know I shouldn't have been speeding, but it was important enough that the $135 would have been worth paying... y'know, if they hadn't forgotten to tell me it was cancelled...