wackity-schmackity-doooo

o rly?

She used the wrong choice of words. If he dies, say "He died" not "he left me." Your friend's the dumbass for misleading you.

Indeed. 'He left me' sounds like she's angry with him for dying. Little respect for the dead, especially when they've been your husband..


I am truly wondering how awkward that was tho.

yeah big deal

the friend said it wrong, but still, it was an insensitive thing to say

I've heard people say he left us when someone died before. She could have said that and the OP thought she was talking about her and her kids

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drink the pain away! drown your sorrows in the warm, welcoming embrace of Jagermeister!

*Warm* embrace of Jägermeister?!

Dude, that stuff has to be cold.

It *feels* warm when it's going down.

THATS WHAT SHE SAID

of course she did

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And how do you recommend asking without speaking? To the OP's friend I say YDI for saying "he left me" instead of "he passed away." That's obviously asking for miscommunication.

what kind of person says "my husband left me" when he died? most people would say "he passed away."

a person who's grieving might not say that right away.

Definitely a FML. Assuming "my husband left me" means a separation/divorce is pretty reasonable, it's what most people say in that situation. I've never heard anyone using that phrasing to describe the death of their partner.

If somebody told me that their partner had left them, I'd automatically make the same assumption - as I think 95% of people would.

But it couldve been a suicide. So in that term he did 'leave' her, because he chose to take his own life. :/ But then again I have never heard of anyone using 'He left me' for a death.

Maybe she said he left us. OP could have assumed he left the family while the friend meant this world?

I guess we learned that we should get all the info before speaking on a subject. but don't worry I would have done the same.

Who the hell refers to a spouse's death as them "having left him/her"? She brought it on herself for saying it like that.

Some narcissistic people only see things in terms of how it affects them - i.e. they would actually BLAME their spouse for falling sick and "ruining their holiday" or getting laid off and "putting them in financial hardship", or even dying and "leaving" them alone. If she's that kind of person, he's probably relieved to die.

Or she didn't necessarily want to get into it and was hoping the OP would drop it so she didn't have to talk about it. Maybe the pain is still fresh, and having to say it out loud (ie, acknowledge that it really happened and isn't just some sick nightmare) is still really hard for her, and she thought it would be easier to tell half the truth.

You must of wanted to crawl under a rock. She might have to learn a better way to communicate what happened, lets hope she does not enjoy making people feel like social failures.

Not your fault!!!

I new this one guy who had been divorced for years, but talked about his "wife's" boyfriend for just that reason, it made people not know how to respond. He got kicks that way. People go figure.

http://tinyurl.com/mliapwns

OH SHI-

Sucks for you. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say it might've been a slip of the tongue because she was too distraught to figure out "he left me" doesn't exactly mean the same thing as "he passed away." Hopefully she didn't get angry with you.