Ummmm… OK?

By Lionman - 05/04/2012 05:11 - United States - Ann Arbor

Spicy
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

mduffy08 8

It really can't get any more awkward.

142 6
sillydumpling 0

Give him a lengthy description about the mating patterns between you and his daughter

110 3

Comments

mduffy08 8

It really can't get any more awkward.

142 6
TheGreatAlexande 12

Yea it could, he could have said "would you like me to show you"....

56 0
Torva_fml 16

Or... "here, I'll go get my wife. She can tell you all about it!"

33 1
blackheart24 10

Still a better love story than twilight.

37 10
Birdie_Sage 0

Just nod and walk away...

5 3
ClassyCommando 13

That awkward moment when he brings his wife into the room and she's a lioness.

28 3
bioboy725 10

Lions only mate in quick short bursts anyway. They have sex for hours but with many different lionesses.

7 0
The_Hitdude 12

Dad FTW! But I'll never look at the 'Can Feel the Love Tonight?' scene of The Lion King the same way again...

77 6
biggestfan23 11

That's one of the best scenes in Lion King. It's crucial to the structure of the movie

18 4
kissmybuttque 0

Hahaha! Neither will I....

1 3
theamazingone_12 7

The phrase "hakuna matata" actually means lion sodomy in the african language of yoruba. its used to coax their homosexual mate into relaxing and having butt sex, hence "no worries"

11 0
Sebastian_NG 17

I hope you didn't mention that kind of details about yourself to him as well OP

23 4
KeyboardWarrior 10

He better not let the lion hear him say that. It'll prove that to him that it's the REAL king of the jungle.

16 7
KeyboardWarrior 10

Whoa that makes no sense. It'll prove to him that*. My bad.

5 1
monster_tamer 11

Tigers are king of the jungle. Lions don't live in jungles. :)

2 2
SpottedZebra42 14

51 - It's my mistake, not my bad. I'm no grammar Nazi, but that is one of my pet peeves.

0 2
Pelreskovich 11

He also learned how to draw a cross on his mate's forehead with his semen and whisper "Simba" in their ear.

68 1
sillydumpling 0

Give him a lengthy description about the mating patterns between you and his daughter

110 3
Gondile 4

At least he wasn't lyin'

13 2
ifoundalaska 11

I would like to know more about the barbed penis

25 3
slick5880 22

The barbs of a lion's penis are quite sharp and jagged. With the appearance of a long fish hook, the lion's penis has been known to rip through flesh and bone, and it is sometimes used as a weapon.

21 1
greeneyedpothead 10

So I guess lions are real kinky huh?! Who knew... 0.o

1 3
JediScum 1

That is exactly what I thought. So I youtubed it. Ouch.

5 0