Today I broke my glasses beyond repair. I am very nearly legally blind. I get my glasses at Walmart and today, Christmas, is the only day out of the entire year that they are closed. Merry Christmas to me. FML
Today, I dropped my wedding ring on the carpet. Just as I was about to pick it up, my Roomba sucked it up. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I called the cops on my neighbor's millionth extremely loud alcoholic party. Music stopped before the cop showed up and resumed 10 minutes later. It's 1:30am and still going. FML
Kurliez408 tells us more.
Kurliez408 32
OP here. I HAVE asked several times to stop. They called me a ***** in response. The law here allows loud music until 11 on weekdays (this was Thursday) and midnight on weekends. As mentioned, this was the millionth or so party so clearly I knew nothing would help. Also, as I am one person against several drunks, I am in a disadvantage here. Not a coward, just a logical person.
Today, despite having glowing recommendations, stellar grades, and an impressive resumé, I was rejected by all 15 colleges that I applied to. No explanation or reasons have been given, and it's too late to apply to any more. FML
Today, I got stood up by all five of my friends. I had to spend two hours getting hit on by a guy because I didn't feel safe to drive home. Their excuse? They didn't think I was serious when I said I was already at the bar. FML
Today, I came home from school to find my house ransacked. The robbers shoveled a path from my back door to the driveway, through the snow, then they stole my snow-shovel. FML
Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML
Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML
Today, I woke up to a fog. Literally. A pipe burst in my apartment and scalding water was everywhere. To make matters worse, when I called maintenance he told me he'd come by later, hung up on me, and turned his phone off. He did eventually show up, but it was 5 hours later, well after I'd paid a plumber $200. FML
Today, I slid into a seat in a very busy foodcourt that was jam packed full of seniors at the mall. It was the only seat available, so I was quick to jump into it. It was soaked with urine. FML
Today, I was about to go out and get some groceries, but the moment I slammed the door I realized my keys were still inside. My inner caveman instincts told me to immediately break down the door, so now I have to get a doorknob replacement instead of food. FML
Today, I woke up super early to get ready for a wedding an hour away. I'm a bridesmaid, and also 8 months pregnant. The dress that fit me perfectly 3 days ago won't fit anymore. FML
PJSandWitch tells us more.
OP here! Happy it got posted! It wasn't a custom made dress, most brides in Brazil prefer that the bridesmaids are not all matching. I had a really hard time finding something that I could wear, and that dress was the only formal dress with belly space I could find. I tried it on with a pillow when I bought it a few months ago! 3 days before it fit perfectly, I was shocked how bigger I had gotten in just 3 days! In the end I made it work, just couldn't breath so easily. After the ceremony, I opened the zipper a little and put a jacket on, so I was comfortable!
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, my pregnant sister has apparently always loved my boyfriend's name and wants to give it to her child. She expects me to break up with my boyfriend so "it doesn't get weird." FML
Today, while at a night club, I was wearing a brand new outfit that I absolutely loved. I was enjoying myself until I felt something wet drop onto my head and body from above. It was puke from a drunk guy in the V.I.P. section. FML
Today, the lip balms I ordered online finally arrived in the mail. After trying one out, my lips had an allergic reaction. It's a 4-pack. FML
Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML
Today, I wanted quiet time, so I decided to go out for a walk in the dark. It was cold, so I made a mess of my room trying to find my favourite hat. When I got back home, I was greeted by my mother in tears with cries of, "Oh thank god you're back!" She thought I'd run away. FML
pimmster tells us more.
pimmster 5
I'm 19 so it is a Fml
Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML
Today, while at the club, I started dancing with a girl who I had noticed throughout the night. When she turned around she firmly stated, "I'd much rather dance by myself". FML
Today one of my flatmates told the rest of us to stop using the toilet after 10pm cause he's a light sleeper and the flushing noise wakes him up. After arguing about it, he gave us his 'permission' to use the toilet, but only if we don't flush until the next day. Guess who is always the first to wake up? FML
Today, I dyed my hair back to pastel pink, which it hasn't been in over a year. It goes well with my skin and I was super excited about it so I decided to Snapchat my friend about it. Her response? "You were thinner last time your hair looked like that." FML
Today, I received some new snow boots I had ordered online. When I opened the package there was only one boot in the box. FML
Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML
Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to have over 200 people show up at my house to celebrate my wedding anniversary with my husband. Apparently, this was his "I'm sorry" present for missing my wedding last year. FML
Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML
Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML
Today, I found out why my biology class TA, who takes the class alongside the other students, was always so eager to collect my work. Turns out, she's been erasing my name on my papers and writing hers in all semester. My failing final grade has already been finalized. FML
Today, I was scrolling through a bunch of old posts that my boyfriend's ex had posted about me on Facebook from a fake account she used to stalk and harass me for months. It was then that I figured out that one of my friends and my mother had been helping her the whole time. FML
koreageis tells us more.
OP here. I made an account just to give everyone more details. This girl and I were friends a loooong tine ago and stopped being friends for many reasons. Well, when she was dating my boyfriend she cheated on him and he left her. Over a year later, I started dating him after she gave me her blessing and told me about her new fiancé and kid on the way and about how happy she was. A year later I find the fake account under a different name filled with posts about me, my love life and about how awful we did her. One post blatantly said that my mother called her all the time mocking me and giving her my personal info so she can stalk me even more. I also found many comments where my mom asked her to text her or call her and many comments from my friend, who is someone I've known for four years but talk to every now and then, talking about me as well. Apparently both of them pretended to be on my side while they helped her stalk me, my boyfriend and roommate. This girl found out who I was living with, where I was living and even knew everything about my love life because of my mother. I've deleted all my social media, including my Facebook just to get this girl off my back. My mother denied everything, didn't apologize and hasn't attempted to speak to me since. I last spoke to her about a month ago, more or less.
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