By unhappystudent - United States - Storrs Mansfield Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML I agree, your life sucks 7557 You deserved it 575 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hkkilla - United States Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 26761 You deserved it 10505 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By frustrated - Australia - Mittagong Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 32074 You deserved it 7020 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alltimelove Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 25399 You deserved it 9960 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "ravensarepurple" Today, I got my new cooker delivered and installed. I followed the instructions in the manual, emptied it out and turned the oven up full for 30 minutes. 20 minutes later, the inner glass shattered. FML I agree, your life sucks 2356 You deserved it 250 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By panicked headaches - United States - East Lansing Today, I started taking my anxiety meds. Without them I can't function because I'm constantly fighting off panic attacks, but with them I can't function because I get crippling headaches and heartburn and feel tired all the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 23307 You deserved it 2063 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FMeeee - Portugal - Aveiro Today, I decided to tell my family, including my husband, that I'm pregnant. Their reaction was basically a "meh" before returning to watching the World Cup. FML I agree, your life sucks 50342 You deserved it 9754 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML I agree, your life sucks 24434 You deserved it 8642 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hobosarea-holes - United States Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML I agree, your life sucks 31142 You deserved it 3741 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Garry - United States Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML I agree, your life sucks 24105 You deserved it 5406 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iFail - United States Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 28883 You deserved it 5444 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ak - United States Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML I agree, your life sucks 64566 You deserved it 11325 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Boyufd - 30/7/2020 23:01 The Dark Knight Today, I noticed my acne scars are almost forming the Batman symbol. FML I agree, your life sucks 1153 You deserved it 132 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minikat Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML I agree, your life sucks 3979 You deserved it 241 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dogless Creepy Today, at my surprise birthday party, my neighbor gave me a new dog collar. My dog was run over by him a week ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1988 You deserved it 95 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML I agree, your life sucks 50578 You deserved it 18262 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thefriedman - United States - Perris Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML I agree, your life sucks 44405 You deserved it 8637 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sauce - United States Today, after months of looking, my fiancé and I finally signed a lease. We are using my savings to pay for it. This apparently poses a "moral dilemma" for my in-laws who think we should wait to be married. I'm paying for an apartment I'm not allowed to live in. FML I agree, your life sucks 28341 You deserved it 6257 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Youalreadyknowmyname - United States - Jeffersonville Today, a guy asked me my name and I told him it's Holly. He then asked if I was "real or a Holligram?" Apparently, The Office is the best, and only place to get pick up lines. FML I agree, your life sucks 1388 You deserved it 221 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bee - United States Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML I agree, your life sucks 33462 You deserved it 3466 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not4geeks - United States Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML I agree, your life sucks 32219 You deserved it 72915 480 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML I agree, your life sucks 36768 You deserved it 6827 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML I agree, your life sucks 1556 You deserved it 448 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML I agree, your life sucks 31485 You deserved it 5034 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itsnotthatIhatecharity Today, I found out that because I, like many others, don't read the terms and conditions, I accidentally donated £200 to a charity because of a non-refundable payment on a volunteering trip. It's my parents' money. FML I agree, your life sucks 1993 You deserved it 3045 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmylifebad - United States Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 54023 You deserved it 12120 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bob the builder - United States - Ridgeland Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 24290 You deserved it 1720 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SlothyMolly - United States Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML I agree, your life sucks 34689 You deserved it 4154 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike - United States - Burlington Drama Llama Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML I agree, your life sucks 1373 You deserved it 110 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "cowboy_gold " - 25/1/2020 05:00 Don't ignore neighbor Today, I came back to my dorm only to find the noise of my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was talking in my head when I said at least do it against the other wall. But, when I was leaving later, he walked by apologizing and said that he thought that I was not there, then promised to do more quietly next time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1647 You deserved it 375 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zack - United States - Duncannon Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML I agree, your life sucks 11699 You deserved it 26383 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 39809 You deserved it 4483 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Asdf649 - Canada - Burlington Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML I agree, your life sucks 30380 You deserved it 2628 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanksbaby - United States Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML I agree, your life sucks 45889 You deserved it 11527 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Manchester Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML I agree, your life sucks 47889 You deserved it 8634 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kay51 - United Kingdom Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML I agree, your life sucks 8741 You deserved it 27336 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/5/2020 20:00 A load of hot air Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1516 You deserved it 624 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By highlycontagious - United States Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 42094 You deserved it 6692 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jb100 - United States - Perryville Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML I agree, your life sucks 31076 You deserved it 2180 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By argh - Canada Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML I agree, your life sucks 35449 You deserved it 2034 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - United States Today, after months of trying to convince my violent bipolar antisocial neighbors to crack a window when they smoke pot, I'm now living without any heat to avoid being blasted by pot smoke from the heat vents day and night. FML I agree, your life sucks 5546 You deserved it 1105 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By countrydad1116 | 2 #6724493 - Monday 19 December 2016 7:50 So it was you and two girls? In your room alone that could turn out to be a hello fun party!!! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By crazyindynathan | 13 #6724405 - Monday 19 December 2016 3:09 At least you won't oversleep... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By cuz803 | 31 #6724401 - Monday 19 December 2016 3:00 Was it for you? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By crazyindynathan | 13 #6724405 - Monday 19 December 2016 3:09 At least you won't oversleep... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By StormfrontX33_fml | 24 #6724406 - Monday 19 December 2016 3:13 I would've followed that with a mini kick in the ass. A roommate should always be reciprocally considerate. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Marjo86 | 29 #6724418 - Monday 19 December 2016 3:44 So, open your mouth and do something about it? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By MikuandKaito | 24 #6724422 - Monday 19 December 2016 4:04 Ahh, the ol' inconsiderate roommate. I feel for you. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By RichardPencil | 29 #6724425 - Monday 19 December 2016 4:17 How nice of them to celebrate your studiousness! Most achievements go unnoticed. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By cootiequeen4444 | 11 #6724426 - Monday 19 December 2016 4:17 who the fuck would even show up to a party, no matter big or mini, at 7am? If asked I'd be like "wtf? hell no, bitch, I'll be sleepin'" Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By maritime1992 | 5 #6724432 - Monday 19 December 2016 4:45 You should put a candy bar in her gas tank. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By LAUGHINGKOMODO | 25 #6724441 - Monday 19 December 2016 5:05 I mean, it is your room so try to tell them to leave because you want to sleep or say you got a headache, that one always causes them to back off. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By berniro | 14 #6724459 - Monday 19 December 2016 5:45 Who parties at 7am? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply RichardPencil | 29 #6724467 - Monday 19 December 2016 5:58 Winners! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 154 You deserved it 43 1 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 531 You deserved it 27 2 Comments