Miscellaneous

Beggars can't be choosers

By I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 469

Humble pie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. I'd actually just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 307

You deserved it 62 612

Many such cases

By gaga - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Jose

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 092

You deserved it 39 497

Doorman

By shit - 26/01/2014 18:20 - United States - South Holland

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 123

You deserved it 46 832

From bad to worse

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 19:04 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 583

You deserved it 66 713

By Anonymous - 20/09/2014 15:28 - Sweden - Kung?lv

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 153

You deserved it 14 106

I hate shopping

By Kelly - 11/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried a polo neck sweater on at a store, and when I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway over my head. I panicked and tugged harder, only to realize I was now stuck inside, unable to get it off. A store employee finally saw me struggling and came help me. I'm never going back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 107

By need my own place - 24/10/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 962

You deserved it 1 598

By Meg - 13/06/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 397

You deserved it 2 819

By Anonymous - 07/03/2014 18:25 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 405

You deserved it 4 488

By Anonymous - 03/10/2009 17:55 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 640

You deserved it 6 343

David Lee Roth?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 309

You deserved it 39 564

Nice try

By GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 497

When there's a will, there's a way

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 08:00

Today, we needed a new TV after our old one died. My husband decided to splurge and ordered a 110 inch TV. It just got delivered and my husband now knows just how big 110 inches is. There is no wall in our house this thing will fit on, and the returns process is crazy complicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 181

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 532

You deserved it 4 075

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 21:50 - Puerto Rico - Arecibo

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. I accidentally reversed while still in the driveway, and I instinctively hit the brakes. In my panic, I accidentally let go of the brakes, and ended up reversing straight into our house, all while my father yelled "NOOOOOO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 751

You deserved it 18 823

Bye bye love

By unknown - 27/11/2012 18:45 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 105

You deserved it 7 367

By fsfs - 17/08/2013 16:27 - Germany - Kiel

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 593

You deserved it 5 168

It's hot!

By joyf - 08/12/2019 20:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's parents came over. It got hot, so I took off the jacket I was wearing, but I forgot I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 2 475

Hiking is fun

By Harry - 29/11/2009 22:53 - United States

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad, so we went to the edge of a cliff to relieve ourselves. He peed and it came and hit me in the face. He did it on purpose, so I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 548

You deserved it 44 099

By NoorFML - 19/10/2012 14:37 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 264

You deserved it 2 050

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 412

You deserved it 3 545

Pretty vacant

By So losing the last name - 26/09/2024 06:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, at our usual family gathering, Big Grandpa, the family patriarch, said with his loud super authoritative voice, "Hey! Where is granddaughter?" I responded, "Here, Grandpa!" He then disgruntledly yelled, "NO! I meant my PRETTY granddaughter!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 86

By SummersEve - 12/02/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 727

You deserved it 33 375

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 445

You deserved it 65 705

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 039

You deserved it 59 043

By walmart: first time, last time - 12/05/2013 16:37 - United States

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 14 793

By sarah - 18/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 063

You deserved it 11 016

Check this out!

By Uncircumcised Penis - 24/07/2012 09:51 - Canada - Richmond

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 640

You deserved it 2 469

By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 812

You deserved it 60 393

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I once again got less than 20 hours of work for the entire week. My boss's solution? Double the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 75

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 035

You deserved it 45 618

WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 61

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 178

You deserved it 2 978

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 023

You deserved it 10 211

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 2 402