Miscellaneous

Customer support

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of juice on sale. When it didn't ring up the sale price, they told me that the bottle was just on the wrong shelf and it wasn't on sale. I demanded that they honor the price, and they had security escort me out, without the juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 978

By glitterzebra - 09/10/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 282

You deserved it 13 437

By disgusted - 16/03/2012 09:02 - United States

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 195

You deserved it 2 137

By PictureLess - 10/01/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I got home from a family trip to Disney World. I had taken nearly 300 photos of our trip on my new digital camera. As our car pulled into the driveway, I was using my camera to try to delete one unflattering shot of me. I accidentally deleted every picture off the memory card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 846

You deserved it 38 247

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 306

You deserved it 33 352

By fucking fratricidal - 13/10/2012 22:25 - Canada - Bedford

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 513

You deserved it 1 964

By Anonymous - 07/02/2013 06:20 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 18 199

By Anonymous - 13/05/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 095

You deserved it 8 490

Don't come again!

By Brain Bleach? Anyone? - 22/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 166

By anonymous - 17/09/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 755

You deserved it 7 356

It's just windy

By m…… - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Whitley

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 693

You deserved it 2 081

By kp. - 03/09/2015 16:30 - United States

Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 3 933

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 351

You deserved it 35 665

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 464

You deserved it 46 744

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 646

You deserved it 2 120

By hallofail - 01/11/2012 00:40 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 684

You deserved it 3 005

By Sallyfromtheseashore - 01/07/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 779

You deserved it 89 687

Stir crazy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 98

Alert!

By DamnDogs - 05/03/2012 10:28 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 618

You deserved it 4 080

By LucidNightmare - 27/01/2013 05:38 - United States - Englewood

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 18 702

By missmycomp - 12/11/2009 14:36 - Singapore

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 816

You deserved it 3 155

By CatLover - 06/11/2014 18:30 - United States - Bartow

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 2 793

By whatajerk - 03/01/2015 03:11 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 205

You deserved it 4 692

Hurry up

By lauren_rox - 08/11/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 448

You deserved it 13 718

By Anonymous - 19/03/2014 10:34 - Australia - Greensborough

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 613

You deserved it 3 849

By jfc, how just how - 19/05/2013 19:56 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 266

You deserved it 3 788

By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 025

You deserved it 12 636

Fountainhead

By iliketurtles - 24/02/2009 22:57 - United States

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 366

You deserved it 7 783

By Chelsea - 27/02/2013 22:39 - United States - Aurora

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 996

You deserved it 2 674

No good deed…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 23:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, before I washed my husband’s stinky work jacket, I made sure to check the pockets. What I didn’t realise was that there was another pocket which had two USB sticks with all of his students’ work on them. The guilt trip has been going on for hours, and I’m 39 weeks pregnant, stressed out of my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 221

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 617

You deserved it 7 242

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 588

You deserved it 1 791

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 849

You deserved it 9 501

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 46

Today, I have now reached the point in the financial landslide of my life that the only thing of value I have managed to hold on to is my life insurance policy, which I just manage to pay for every month. It says something that I am now actually worth more dead than alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 100

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 5 527