Miscellaneous

By Studying is for crazy people. - 22/11/2014 04:36 - United States - Stockton

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 3 925

By I_AM_READING - 14/10/2014 07:15 - United States - Anchorage

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 3 226

I_AM_READING tells us more.

I_AM_READING 5

Thursday 16 October 2014 2:26

OP here... I have no idea why she hit me instead of asking me not to help and still haven't a clue as to what stereotype it was. I was waiting for my father to come out of the store when I noticed her crossing the street when she just dropped the bags I came to help and she swung whatever was left in the bag at me till I left. I lucky didn't get hurt but I was kinda humiliated but as far as I could tell no one saw. I got a laugh telling my friends at school though so either way it just another funny story to tell.

By disney - 26/11/2009 16:30 - United States

Today, I went to Disney World. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 875

You deserved it 43 514

By purrtygirl - 09/06/2009 06:44 - United States

Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I know him but I'd forgotten his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it, so, thinking I was clever, I said, "How do you spell your name again?" His name is Rob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 55 468

Been there, done that

By randomgirl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 388

You deserved it 15 058

Knowledge is power

By Wow, really? - 16/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I said that I wasn't expecting someone to say salt made a food sweet. My friend then decided to explain what salt is, a flavor enhancer, and "like when it's on the rim of a Margarita." Really? We're all in college and I'm the only one who keeps their grades up. I know what the fuck salt is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 365

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 916

You deserved it 3 495

By wherermypants - 02/08/2012 05:10 - United States - Austin

Today, I discovered that when I'm drunk, I hate wearing clothes. And it doesn't matter who is around to see it, not even my soon-to-be father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 453

You deserved it 28 381

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 10:05 - United States - Palmdale

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 516

You deserved it 49 377

By houdini - 03/02/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 979

You deserved it 11 713

That was quick

By dumbdad - 08/09/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 688

You deserved it 3 298

By navygirl96 - 04/03/2015 03:54 - United States - Arvada

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling from 30 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 2 745

navygirl96 tells us more.

navygirl96 14

Wednesday 4 March 2015 18:04

Hi guys, I'm the author of this FML. To clarify I am not lazy or too busy for my mom. I work 10 hour night shifts and go to school. My mom is very sweet and was trying to help me out so I wouldn't have to make a special trip during my work week, and because she knew how excited I was for the card. My husband works 60 hour weeks so he probably didn't think about it. Thank you for the all the kind comments, many of you are very kind.

By beachbirdbait - 09/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Savannah

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 609

You deserved it 512

By Anonymous - 15/02/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 665

You deserved it 9 219

By boyfriend123 - 18/08/2011 10:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 3 493

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 846

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 02/12/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 218

You deserved it 37 083

By sadgirl - 28/02/2012 15:51 - Netherlands

Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 963

You deserved it 4 370

Plans

By not invited - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Appleton

Today, a close friend told me she had no plans for her birthday. I found out she was lying when I had to serve her and nine other mutual friends dinner at the restaurant I work at. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I wasn't invited or that none of them even remembered that I worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 648

You deserved it 1 690

By apparentlyugly - 10/12/2014 01:56 - United States - Henderson

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 2 969

Not for everyone

By lol - 16/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, on a whim, I decided to try parkour. I climbed a chain link fence and fell off, right onto my face. Then the owner of the property shouted at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 761

Sexy time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I woke up to my balls being sucked on. Unfortunately, it was by a mosquito. I hate the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 212

You deserved it 1 782

A day to remember

By Sam - 20/09/2025 09:00

Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 46

By A.W - 24/06/2012 13:57 - United States

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 2 258

By sadSarah - 01/05/2014 09:59 - United States - New York

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 324

You deserved it 4 802

By justine - 13/12/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 997

You deserved it 3 146

By Nose Numb - 30/11/2014 20:24 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 358

You deserved it 3 494

Urbex is risky stuff

By Curiosity nearly killed me - 18/07/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 784

By caseyl - 15/04/2015 13:42 - Finland - Espoo

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 023

You deserved it 3 211

caseyl tells us more.

caseyl 18

Wednesday 15 April 2015 18:58

Op here. My dad has a car repair shop and the biker gang rented the property next door. So he decided the smartest move would be to intimidate them to make sure they won't cause trouble. Which, I'm pretty sure, is going to cause a shitload of trouble...