Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 5:04am / United States / Work

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

by David H. / 12/23/2010 at 3:18am / Work

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 2:42am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

by tjm / 12/23/2010 at 1:05am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:35pm / United States (Texas) / Love

tj265's comment : gotta be straight up with guys we dont catch hints easy lol

See all the comments

Today, my mother took a bunch of sleeping pills, then went driving. I followed her and dialed 911. Now she thinks that I was "trying to get her arrested," and she refuses to talk to me ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 5:23pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Health

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:19am / United Kingdom (Barnsley) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way home from a Christmas party, the cab I was in was hit in the side. After making sure everyone was okay, the cab driver informed me that I'd still have to pay the cab fare, which he'd kept running. FML

by ouch / 12/22/2010 at 10:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.