Miscellaneous: Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was...

By Kourou - France

Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34115

You deserved it

3006

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Don't you know that you're toxic?

Abuse

Generosity

By brunnells22 - 23/6/2020 23:00

Bob the Builder

Today, I was feeling pretty proud of myself for building an Ikea shelf/dresser combo completely by myself. When going to put the last drawer together, I dropped one of the boards. The corner landed perfectly in the middle of my phone screen, shattering it. It's going to cost $230 to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1281

You deserved it

238

Favorite

By asdffhhjk - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56006

You deserved it

9359

Favorite

By Kohsukeff - 7/12/2020 08:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

My life is average

Today, as a single, 24-year old college graduate working temp jobs outside his field, the only thing I look forward to in my day is what I get to eat for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

755

You deserved it

106

Favorite

By Nafypoo

Today, I was playing competitively for my clan in a tournament. Money is involved, and I was doing quite well until my girlfriend up and turned the PS4 off because I wasn't "paying enough attention" to her, despite being on a holiday with her for the previous 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3199

You deserved it

863

Favorite

Incomprehensible

Today, I arrived in Tokyo and went to stay overnight in a teeny airport cabin hotel with shared bathroom facilities. I used the little wicker baskets to put my clothes on and when I came out of the shower, I found someone had stolen my favorite top. Who steals dirty clothes?! FML

I agree, your life sucks

2884

You deserved it

330

Favorite

By Eyebrowless - United States - Willingboro

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23943

You deserved it

13859

Favorite

By bobbies - United States

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

55558

You deserved it

5946

Favorite

By legit247 - United States - Moscow Mills

The Voice

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47667

You deserved it

9410

Favorite

By Anonymous

Do you have an evil twin?

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6826

You deserved it

350

Favorite

By clothesthief - Australia - Ivanhoe

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31652

You deserved it

3908

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Dollard-des-ormeaux

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48462

You deserved it

3312

Favorite

By Anonymous - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41050

You deserved it

4481

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16382

You deserved it

42910

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18683

You deserved it

2639

Favorite

By Ohgreat - United States

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10519

You deserved it

46606

Favorite

By Badday

Today, I received a call from a company attempting to steal me away. Flattered, I told them I liked my job and the answer was no. When I told my boss, he said they're thinking about laying me off and I should've taken the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4401

You deserved it

371

Favorite

By letmedienow - United States

Today, after being admitted to the emergency room for severe abdominal pain, my boyfriend shouted out in front of my parents, "At least she isn't pregnant!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29437

You deserved it

3382

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76157

You deserved it

11721

Favorite

By Snow-White - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45588

You deserved it

19052

Favorite

By crazy_mom - United States

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38509

You deserved it

4329

Favorite

Indebted without work

Today, my husband has to quit his job. 5 months ago, we paid a deposit on a section for our brand new house and the title and mortgage need to be finalized next week. His work is forcing him out because he wanted to do his job safely and to a high standard of workmanship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1943

You deserved it

172

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Tacoma

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42022

You deserved it

3413

Favorite

By notacreep - United States - San Francisco

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31379

You deserved it

8182

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38846

You deserved it

2853

Favorite

By Nick - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14968

You deserved it

28857

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/5/2020 05:00

TMI

Today, I was trying to teach my Aunt and Gran to use Google drive to share and upload pictures, when I scrolled past an image of my… yep. I didn't have a mirror when the pic was taken and I was concerned about a sore. Now they just think I'm a whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1220

You deserved it

473

Favorite

By ditched - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58936

You deserved it

6099

Favorite

By monster in law. - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36179

You deserved it

3407

Favorite

By mamagelmane - France - Vervezelle

Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47800

You deserved it

4054

Favorite

By SwAGkiLlS - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27857

You deserved it

5036

Favorite

By Whoops - United States

Today, while driving with my three year old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34622

You deserved it

4514

Favorite

By Merserve - 9/7/2020 02:00

Shackled

Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1670

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By Bibi

Today, I went to my little brother's high school to speak to his counselor about his grades. On my way to the office, the office manager threatened to write me up for ditching class and told me that high school is not like middle school, 9th grade will be different. I graduated 5 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3475

You deserved it

218

Favorite

By Nyah Murphy

Today, I fell asleep for 20 minutes during my first final in law school. I took a $70k loan to be here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2120

You deserved it

4941

Favorite

By Kerrilyn - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14961

You deserved it

54829

Favorite

By PunctureWound - Canada

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13749

You deserved it

28666

Favorite

By aprilfooled - United States

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21938

You deserved it

76647

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/6/2020 08:08

Vicious

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years after finally realizing I'm a lesbian. He then outed me to my very religious and conservative family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1718

You deserved it

864

Favorite

By not-religious - United States

Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40233

You deserved it

5147

Favorite

By feistychick - United States

Today, I was fired from my job of 5 years. I was let go because I couldn't take the company to 'the next level'. My now ex-boss asked me if I could process my severance check because he didn't know how. I had to write myself my last paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58024

You deserved it

2744

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By batch56 | 0

#36107 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:08

that's so cute.

By pu13 | 5

#984000 - Friday 23 April 2010 7:48

awwww your right old people looking at porn is so cute( sarcasm )

COMMENTS

By pinkfrenchrose | 5

#30885 - Saturday 14 March 2009 4:43

lol

By Root123 | 0

#34115 - Monday 16 March 2009 5:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Zamax | 0

#814178 - Monday 1 February 2010 2:17

And you know this how? lol :)

StopTheFuckinCar_fml | 0

#1221304 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 8:40

4 seriously WTF! hahaha

danishbagel | 3

#2698686 - Friday 17 June 2011 4:26

And I love how your profile account says you were born in 1989...

By batch56 | 0

#36107 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 2:08

that's so cute.

pu13 | 5

#984000 - Friday 23 April 2010 7:48

awwww your right old people looking at porn is so cute( sarcasm )

By Lubinduba | 0

#38724 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 0:42

lmaoo

By nafiul93 | 0

#40613 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 19:36

Aaaaaaahh lmaooooo that is too funny

By BurnBabyyBurn | 0

#40717 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 20:15

lmao, "thats so cute"
actually, true that :D

By notfromearth7 | 0

#51599 - Monday 23 March 2009 3:07

I loled because I could totally see my grandfather doing this.

By ILIEKGIRLS | 5

#74389 - Wednesday 1 April 2009 8:02

haha, good ol' grandpa.

By happykid | 0

#81329 - Saturday 4 April 2009 6:54

aw. probably wishing he was still hot n' ready

By usernamegoeshere | 0

#106495 - Monday 13 April 2009 2:53

lawl grandpa needs to have the good old days back