Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone,... - FML

By la poisse - 19/11/2008 05:59 - France

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34903

You deserved it

3485

Tweet

Share

Understandable

Out of it

Time for the ER

By jasminejzhu - 14/4/2013 09:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46895

You deserved it

11642

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/10/2017 08:00 - United States - Park City

Today, I proposed. She immediately said no and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3982

You deserved it

385

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 06:37 - United States - Conover

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

I agree, your life sucks

17816

You deserved it

40089

Tweet

Share

By resurrected - 4/9/2013 15:59 - United Kingdom - Worthing

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53972

You deserved it

2967

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36205

You deserved it

8199

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/9/2014 21:27 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42874

You deserved it

3730

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 16:09 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51542

You deserved it

3651

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/12/2011 16:30 - Sweden

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9875

You deserved it

54015

Tweet

Share

By kimboslice106 - 8/6/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50044

You deserved it

14098

Tweet

Share

By sick - 6/1/2011 12:21 - United States

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28490

You deserved it

2565

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/2/2012 15:45 - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49734

You deserved it

5042

Tweet

Share

By Miller_Time - 18/3/2009 18:45 - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73650

You deserved it

8646

Tweet

Share

By crazycatlady1890 - 2/5/2019 18:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I finished a full marathon and just wanted to relax and get pampered by my husband afterwards. Instead, I spent the evening taking care of him and his back because he had a spasm. Don't worry, he feels much better now. Meanwhile, I can’t move my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1642

You deserved it

420

Tweet

Share

By thanks. - 28/1/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7830

You deserved it

794

Tweet

Share

By KittyKat - 3/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

54843

You deserved it

7031

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/5/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36853

You deserved it

4094

Tweet

Share

By fukinnature - 1/11/2016 07:27

Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8920

You deserved it

887

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/9/2013 22:22 - Australia - Padstow

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43453

You deserved it

3871

Tweet

Share

By worsethanzombies - 23/11/2009 16:40 - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34005

You deserved it

4850

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/2/2013 21:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13397

You deserved it

45952

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63044

You deserved it

6852

Tweet

Share

By Bobby - 29/5/2017 22:00

Today, I went to a bone and joint specialist because of excruciating back pain. Before the examination, the doctor told me that the possible reasons for the pain could be arthritis, sciatica, or scoliosis. After the examination, I found out that I have all three. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4693

You deserved it

232

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 17:23 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29620

You deserved it

3429

Tweet

Share

By hopelesscollegestudent - 21/9/2012 16:22 - Canada

Today, I asked my college chemistry teacher for some much-needed help. Instead of explaining anything to me, she scoffed that if I don't understand something, I should "just Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23921

You deserved it

1997

Tweet

Share

By cpiro - 27/5/2020 05:00

Live from the chopper

Today, my friend borrowed my car and decided to get pulled over after a high speed chase. My car got towed in a town over 100 miles away. Choose your friends wisely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1423

You deserved it

287

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/2/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22970

You deserved it

4273

Tweet

Share

By madessalarouge - 20/10/2018 23:00 - United States

Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2567

You deserved it

1288

Tweet

Share

By StellaSanguina - 9/10/2009 03:17 - United States

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35264

You deserved it

6750

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/9/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41044

You deserved it

3971

Tweet

Share

By singlesailor - 19/9/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48069

You deserved it

4374

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/3/2011 03:36 - United States

Today, I'm babysitting three children under the age of seven. They have no discipline, don't listen, scream all the time, won't nap, terrorize my dog, and have peed their pants a collective 5 times today. I am not getting paid for this. Their mother has no plans to come get them any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40559

You deserved it

9684

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/8/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

538

You deserved it

1721

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 17:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26261

You deserved it

14796

Tweet

Share

By _RobotInDisguise - 9/12/2009 23:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52649

You deserved it

2929

Tweet

Share

By bad doc - 1/10/2019 04:00

Save Me

Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1325

You deserved it

135

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/7/2012 17:01 - United States - South Gate

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10602

You deserved it

37239

Tweet

Share

By Hikara - 13/4/2009 13:44 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

I agree, your life sucks

165052

You deserved it

24297

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/9/2019 22:02

Power move

Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks

659

You deserved it

1616

Tweet

Share

By nemesis5196523 - 3/12/2013 19:45 - United States - Ogden

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46768

You deserved it

4245

Tweet

Share

By this sucks - 5/8/2013 04:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, after gaining all the weight back that I had lost after my first marriage, I realized that the only thing that fits me now is my wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40014

You deserved it

9791

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By roseglass6370 | 0

#39628 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:28

Doctors don't care. Happens all the time. Trust me, I work at a hospital and see AT LEAST 5 of these kinds of things a day...if not more.

By junkinmahcranium | 0

#347989 - Sunday 28 June 2009 3:53

Don't they knock anymore?

All those other people saying "don't worry, he's just a doctor" bother me. Yeah, maybe HE's not embarassed, but she just got walked in on peeing. Going to the bathroom is oddly personal and private, and since it's gross, not exactly something we want to share to the world.

Very sorry for you, OP. D:

COMMENTS

By roseglass6370 | 0

#39628 - Wednesday 18 March 2009 6:28

Doctors don't care. Happens all the time. Trust me, I work at a hospital and see AT LEAST 5 of these kinds of things a day...if not more.

Reply

Boomi | 38

#6689573 - Wednesday 14 September 2016 18:17

Doctors might not care, but the patients do.

By inlimbo11 | 0

#42166 - Thursday 19 March 2009 5:41

yeah, nothing to worry about on that one. no fml here.

By markh110 | 0

#70862 - Tuesday 31 March 2009 0:54

Nah, you're fine, doctors see a LOT worse every day :)

By Orit | 0

#159930 - Friday 1 May 2009 18:00

Doctors see worst things, nothing to sweat about

Reply

stitesy29 | 18

#5626678 - Wednesday 14 August 2013 6:12

*worse

By vampirate | 0

#161266 - Saturday 2 May 2009 3:32

yikes :/ but yeah, they don't even think twice about that stuff. but still, that's really embarrassing for you :(

oh well, shit happens.

By DaMirrorLink | 0

#222894 - Saturday 23 May 2009 16:15

im surprised they didn't insert a catheter

Reply

ckydc | 0

#976121 - Thursday 8 April 2010 3:47

my sister had one.. shes seven

Reply

alex_cutie | 0

#1005769 - Monday 24 May 2010 18:43

those hurt like hell I had one when I was 10

Reply

ChelsiiBabee | 5

#3898912 - Tuesday 17 January 2012 15:59

I had one when I was 12. WORST THING EVER!

Reply

OneNightStander | 6

#4155773 - Monday 12 March 2012 21:09

Wtf is that?

Reply

heygirlie777 | 21

#4753818 - Tuesday 31 July 2012 5:19

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

rawr_ily96 | 24

#5462732 - Wednesday 24 April 2013 5:18

NO!!! NO YOLO!!!! DIE SWAG-SCUM!!!

By BlueLettuce | 0

#244159 - Saturday 30 May 2009 7:02

Oh this reminds me of a situation on my way to grand canyon in a car, gotta post it up soon :p

By nnchronic2001 | 0

#263287 - Thursday 4 June 2009 2:26

I don't get it, you said "good looking guy" but you got imbarrased??????

Reply

TheLad69 | 2

#5752990 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 9:22

she got embarrassed because she was doing her buisness as he walked in and because he's 'good looking' she got embarrassed

By mahaya_fml | 0

#264225 - Thursday 4 June 2009 5:35

No dur she was embarrassed 10 that hilarious I can just c u peeing and a hit dude walks in LOL besides he's a doc he's prob done surgerys way grosser than that don't sweat chill out

Reply

dolphinlvr7 | 24

#6434594 - Tuesday 13 October 2015 22:10

Learn how to spell, jeez

By junkinmahcranium | 0

#347989 - Sunday 28 June 2009 3:53

Don't they knock anymore?

All those other people saying "don't worry, he's just a doctor" bother me. Yeah, maybe HE's not embarassed, but she just got walked in on peeing. Going to the bathroom is oddly personal and private, and since it's gross, not exactly something we want to share to the world.

Very sorry for you, OP. D: