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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9295) - you deserved it (54181)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

#6105149
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (4826)

On 11/01/2009 at 5:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, tired and hungover, I missed my bus, tried to walk to the train station, got lost, got soaked in the rain, got huge blisters, and had to be picked up because I was late for work. I got in, drenched, tired, and cold only to be told there was "nothing to be done." FML

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

#6103963
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (5907)

On 11/01/2009 at 4:08pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (2480)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I am not allowed to have any of my candy because of my sister's weight problem. FML

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

#6101041
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35835) - you deserved it (6276)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML

#6100010
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11992) - you deserved it (45165)

On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

#6098895
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (3162)

On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my dad called me for the first time in weeks. All he wanted to tell me was that Ashlee Simpson got fired from Melrose Place. Then he hung up. FML

#6098461
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27444) - you deserved it (2179)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:37am - love - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

#6097881
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (2100)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my best friend and I both applied for the same job. I was applying because my family is REALLY tight on cash, and I need the money. He applied because I told him about the job and we thought it would be fun working together. He was hired on the spot. I was denied the job. FML

#6096905
47 comments


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