Miscellaneous: Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers...

By DarkPhoenix - 04/12/2008 11:16 - France

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 794

You deserved it 3 755

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 02:02

Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 343

By Noname - 14/02/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 250

You deserved it 4 231

By Originality18 - 24/02/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimer's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 443

You deserved it 7 883

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 781

You deserved it 4 167

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 301

You deserved it 4 389

Live, laugh, love no one

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 23:01

Today, I got flowers from a secret admirer. Turns out they were from my sister's in-laws who own a flower shop. Apparently, everyone feels bad that I'm single and they are convinced I'm gonna die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 116

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 047

You deserved it 5 232

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "Ha! When losers send you flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 2 604

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 132

You deserved it 5 250

By britney - 15/02/2010 02:54 - Canada

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 127

You deserved it 5 598

shrillace 0

Monday 23 March 2009 17:09

The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.

kottdawg 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:43

HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best

Comments

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 2:17

You should have told her the flowers were for your mother. Alternatively, what if they were? That would have sucked.

Mattxy8 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:29

How is this in any way shape or form a FML?

Ximmie 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 1:33

AHAHA!!! Amazing. :)

Sgt_Schadenfreud 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:07

I love pensioners.

snoopy24_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 18:33

HAHA wow...

kottdawg 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:43

HAHAHAHA old people do know whats best

pinkfrenchrose 5

Saturday 14 March 2009 5:20

Sounds like something my grandma would say. My grandma is crazy. :)

shrillace 0

Monday 23 March 2009 17:09

The 20-somethings of the '60s are the 60-somethings of the 2000s. Don't forget that.

SteppenBeatle 3

Wednesday 3 September 2014 4:05

Yes. Awesome

Empleh 4

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:44

Listen to your elders.

maggiewalters 17

Saturday 11 April 2009 5:24

well, she's right!

glamourful 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 12:13

how is this a FML??? That's ******* awesome!

pothopper 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 1:44

MLIA !!

HK416_fml 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:26

I concurr

Keywords

Anger issues Kids Mental health Annoying Parents Dad jokes Intimacy Cops Sex Love Sports Proposal Awkward Management Work Bosses Cute Miscellaneous Embarrassing Relatable Family Facebook Halloween Animals Dogs Poopoo peepee Neighbours Health Weird Alcohol

The Top

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 490

You deserved it 4 953

Today, I'm aware that being tied up by your rugby friends is something that happens after a night of drinking. Still being tied the following morning is less fun, especially when you’re outside a local school on a Monday morning, wearing nothing but a feather boa around your waist, and zip ties on your arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 178

The Top

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 317

You deserved it 1 199

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 490

You deserved it 6 408

Today, I was yet again rejected by the man of my dreams. He’d rather date these girls with no college degree, no career, can’t cook/clean, etc., just because they have a pretty face and a nice body, instead of me who has a respectable future, career, and education. What is wrong with society nowadays? FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 1 009

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 048

You deserved it 5 822

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 618

You deserved it 28 276

Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 079

You deserved it 2 704

Same thing different taste

Gratitude

Good one

Live, laugh, love no one

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