Love: Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl....

By lageste - 20/11/2008 04:37 - France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 178

You deserved it 5 311

Love

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By smokin - 26/07/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 089

You deserved it 5 371

Nuts

By Painful - 05/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 920

You deserved it 39 989

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 589

By Jerf - 24/06/2009 00:56 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on, and listening to loud music when she suddenly looked worried and asked if I heard something. I said no and continued. Moments later, three firemen opened the bedroom door and told us to get dressed and go outside because the building was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 885

You deserved it 9 801

Public surprise

By Pants-Girl - 24/11/2019 08:00 - Canada

Today, I was out walking downtown. A woman walking behind the thought that my pants were hanging too low. She came over to me and yanked my pants up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 2 488

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 768

You deserved it 71 579

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 600

You deserved it 15 124

By Pain - 28/06/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 999

You deserved it 72 182

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 089

You deserved it 6 217

By Anonymous - 09/07/2013 16:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 732

You deserved it 23 073

Brokenwings92 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:06

and you didn't feel your crotch BURNING???

MizzMe123 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:34

And right theres a new meaning to the word " firecrotch" .

Comments

Brokenwings92 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 22:06

and you didn't feel your crotch BURNING???

jennawheaton 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 2:19

mahah

XoacHale 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 5:46

YDI. cockiness.

squigglyshark 0

Monday 1 June 2009 4:29

I don't see the fail here. Worst case it's a funny story to tell in bars later.

randomxtremely 0

Monday 15 June 2009 5:40

don't waste ur time on dates. watch what goes around u...and urself

n530411351 9

Wednesday 5 August 2009 7:02

that damn gonorrhea...

DynamicDave 11

Sunday 23 August 2009 8:51

Who says 'trousers'?

Lolzords 11

Sunday 20 September 2009 5:26

Brits and anyone who learned British English instead of American English.

MizzMe123 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 1:34

And right theres a new meaning to the word " firecrotch" .

stewpididiot 11

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:24

ydi for smoking... or for hitting on a smoker.

greendaygirl112 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:09

sryy but did u get anythin from her

iFacade 5

Thursday 15 April 2010 21:20

that's hot.

leslielove11 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 20:37

firecrotch 

Keywords

Miscellaneous Work Annoying Health Relatable Ableism Love Vacation Awkward Cute Healthy Lifestyle Tinder Money Dogs Embarrassing Cats Poopoo peepee Stressed out ADHD Mental health Gross Anger issues Parenting Kids Family Funerals Roommate Drugs Lonely AITA

The Top

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 114

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 233

The Top

Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 702

You deserved it 1 671

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 604

You deserved it 8 975

Today, after a year of struggling to get over my anxiety disorder so that I don't have a panic attack every time I go to see my boyfriend, I've been informed that his anxiety has now flared and he gets anxious when texting me. It's a lose-lose, and I'm now causing him the same hell I've felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 345

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 778

You deserved it 4 064

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 083

You deserved it 5 616

Today, I went to fix my porch light. I have called maintenance multiple times about it, but I finally decided to just fix it myself. There was a wasps' nest in the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 106