Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

By must.not.itch. - / Saturday 2 June 2012 23:25 / United States - Hayward
By huh - / Saturday 2 June 2012 20:31 / United Kingdom - Troon
By Norwegian - / Saturday 2 June 2012 16:55 / Norway
By Anonymous - / Saturday 2 June 2012 16:46 / Ireland - Bagenalstown

Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 2 June 2012 15:34 / United States - Bellaire

  Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 2 June 2012 15:16 / United States - Clermont

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

By lol112 / Saturday 2 June 2012 12:47 / United States - Monroe Township

  Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 2 June 2012 10:24 / United Kingdom - Northampton
By OutOfTheCloset / Saturday 2 June 2012 06:50 / United States - Clifton

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

By ironyisabitch / Saturday 2 June 2012 05:43 / United States - Rohnert Park
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